To ask for your tales of non-CFery?

[JellySlice]

Through reading MN one could easily get the impression that all weddings/christenings/neighbourhood disputes/workmates/etc etc are disasters of utter CFery.

Surely not?

So how about some stories of when things went well, when people behaved reasonably?

I'll start off with a couple of my own.

I had a lovely wedding. The only thing that went wrong was BIL pressing the reverse button on the music instead of the play button. He sorted it out. Members of the public watched without causing any fuss, and scooted swiftly out of the way of the photographs without being asked. When dh went to settle the balance at the restaurant, he found that my dad had already done so. Everyone seemed to have a lovely time. I have so many happy and precious memories of our wedding day.

My other story is about our workmen damaging a neighbour's property. Dh and I took wine and cake to our neighbour, and apologised. Our mutually helpful, polite, neighbourly relationship continues as before. End of story.

Your workmen damaged your neighbors property and all you got them was wine and cake? You come across as a CF I dare say!

When we moved into our new house our neighbours came by with still-warm homemade cookies and a card to welcome us with their phone number in case we needed their help with anything. They've continued to be lovely to this day!

Your workmen damaged your neighbors property and all you got them was wine and cake? You come across as a CF I dare say!

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Stupid to assume OP didn't also offer to make good the damage...

My entire life is devoid of any “cheeky fuckers” and I often marvel at how so many people find themselves in so many situations with people they describe as such. I live a wonderfully calm, peaceful, humourous existence, free of drama and outrageous requests from those around me, and on the rare occasion I or somebody I know needs to get over themselves about something, we’re all happy to tell the other so.

Would that it were everybody else lived likewise.

On holiday at my mothers house, mum and sister are delight treating me to food and dyeing my hair for me. They play nicely with my DD and she is having a wonderful time. My mum has made me dinner nearly evernight without any fuss and says she loves me and my sister comes for cuddles.

Yesterday we went to the aquarium it was fab my mum bought DD a mermicorn lovely time being had no drama.

Tbh my life is mostly like this also, maybe I'm lucky but I also hate drama and confrontation and manage to get a successful outcome to difficult situations eventually.

The wedding sounds fab.

I lent some hair straighteners to a good FRIEND. She was having money problems and couldn't afford a new pair. I had two pairs the same. One evening my pair broke and I that I needed to use my others. My friend was all in a tiz because she too was going out at the same time as I was and wanted to use them. I popped over we did our hair together, no stress. She does only live round the corner. Next day my DP bought me a new pair as a treat so that friend still has and uses those straighteners. Probably be seen as a cheeky fucker not letting have my own item back but in the end it was absolutely fine

My friend asked me last minute whilst I was in town the day before her wedding to buy some barrettes for the hair dos for her wedding for the bridesmaids. I was one of the bridesmaids there were 4 of us. I bought 4 lovely ones from accesorize they cost a tenner each. In the busy-ness of wedding morning my friend and other bridesmaids didn't offer to give me any money for them I thought they might mention it later. No one did. I didn't mind or kick up a fuss and ask for money back in the end. It was a small contribution and everyone looked lovely in them. Think everyone just genuinely overlooked it. I can imagine some posters on here kicking off about being 40 quid down.

Immigrantsong, my point being that the neighbour accepted our apology and saw no need to take things any further.

I was buying a single pepper in my local supermarket & got to the checkout one second after someone with a full trolley. The cashier spotted me & asked if they'd mind letting me go first. They said go ahead, so I did, thanked everyone & left with a smile.

I think Immigrantson was being ironic.

-but did you make good the damage OP?

@HelomeibiMN stupid not to get my irony.

@jellyslice did you actually make it right?

Sorry, I didn't get the irony either !

No, we didn't. The neighbour appreciated our gesture and was happy to leave it at that.

LadyOdd, your holiday sounds...like a real holiday

We had a crasher at our wedding. We held the reception at a golf course and one of the golfers came in and started dancing. We offered him cake and a bacon roll and it was not a big deal. He signed the guestbook and it's just a funny wedding story. No need for drama.

The only thing better would be if DD wasn’t teething but mum is fab taking her so I can have a little break etc Ha Jelly it is indeed a no drama family holiday! This morning I made breakfast they said it was yummy and I did the dishes while they watched DD. This morning DD woke up early and went into my sisters room so they entertained her so I could sleep in lol pleasant and nice.

Op your builders damaged your neighbours property and you didn't make it good? You just apologised and took them cake? Maybe the reason you haven't met CFs is because you are the CF!

Bingo, Mickeysminnie. CF alert!

Op your builders damaged your neighbours property and you didn't make it good? You just apologised and took them cake? Maybe the reason you haven't met CFs is because you are the CF!

And this, dear OP, is why you don't start nice threads in AIBU or you have to put bloody 'lighthearted' at the end

My MIL is nothing but lovely and helpful. I ask her for advice on things regarding DC and she gives it with no judgements or criticism

When I was on the tube this morning, the bloke next to me was playing his music loud enough that I could hear it despite his headphones.

But he was playing songs I liked, so it was all good.

Tenbob, even if the OP put lighthearted in the title it still wouldn't negate the fact that I think she is a CF.

This place is obsessed with screeching CHEEKY FUCKER!!! every 5 minutes now.

I was around during the genesis of the acronym, when it applied to very extreme cases.

But now it seems that every time someone cannot repay a favour IMMEDIATELY and to the same extent, everyone rubs their hands on their thighs and starts grunting "cheeky fucker!!!" in quite an animalistic fashion, to rile up the OP in question to take drastic action.

It seems that we have all forgotten that we are not all in a position to offer the exact same amount into the "pot", so to speak, at exactly the same time. For example, maybe you are fortunate (!) enough to be able to help out a friend who is struggling right now. But then circumstances can change -maybe you have an accident and then because you have been kind in the past, now your friend helps you out. But if you'd asked the question of mn, everyone would have yelled cheeky fucker!!? and you would have cut your mate off. Sad

CFery is about putting your wishes ahead of someone else's.

I can just see the AIBU from our neighbour:

Or neighbour insists on repairing damage she caused, even though we don't want her to. It's making neighbourly relations really uncomfortable. She's making it all about her and what she wants. This isn't about her, it's about our home. We were perfectly happy with her apology and really do not want the mess and upheaval of fixing it. AIBU to think she's being a CF about this?

When my son was two, he went through a bloody awful phase of hair pulling and face slapping. DH and I were on the same page with how we were dealing with it. MIL and FIL came to stay and would laugh when he did this.

We asked them not to, and explained why. They understood immediately and stopped and began dealing with it the same way we did.

At our wedding the food was good but the bread rolls were absolutely rock solid. My dad went out and told them and they were very apologetic and replaced them all with no fuss.

Oh and also at my wedding, we didn’t have evening guests but one of my friends mentioned that her brother would be nearby that day and what did we think about him popping in?

“No worries” I said. And I needn’t have worried as he was lovely, brought a lovely gift when I hadn’t expected it, and he also got together with another friend of mine from school (who he had never met before) and they have now been married for 10 years and have two children.

I remember seeing them standing talking to each other and they just looked like no one else was in the room.

Attempting to trim the hedge in the front garden whilst simultaneously trying to hang onto walking frame, a man came out of a house nearby, stopped when he reached me and announced it was dangerous for me to do that, took shears out of my hand and proceeded to cut a good proportion of it. He drove away saying he would return the following morning. I was doubtful I would see him again until the doorbell rang at 9am and there stood man accompanied by wife to finish the job.

They refused all offers of tea, coffee, ice cream, sandwiches, money and went cheerfully on their way with my profuse thanks. Fortunately I found a gardener to do it from then on.

I will never forget their kindness.

Our street has had some CFery but on the whole everyone is lovely and it really showed earlier this year with the snow. We were all snowed in for almost a week, the nearest shop a 10 uphill walk on a good day which took around 1 hour in the snow, this shop was also downhill from the main road and lorries couldn't reach it to restock, meaning the shops getting stocked were an hour walk away on a good day, god knows how long in the snow.

During the first few days all neighbours checked in on those with young children, eldery, infirm etc and offered to get necessities from the local shop if walking.
Later on we all came together to dig a single file road in and out of the street, with groups of neighbours doing their own bit of the road.
Neighbours with a 4x4 took some of the other neighbours to the bigger shops further away when they ran low on baby formula that was now out of stock at nearby shop.
DP tool over digging for the woman across the road as she was alone with her kids and I was here to look after ours.