Is my body/brain a bit weird?

[PadBuns]

Am AIBU in wondering if there is a physiological reason that might explain my 'flatness'. My mood tends to be pretty even. I do get bits of sadness and happiness but they are pretty brief, sadness or frustration are generally hormonal. I can feel happy in the moment, but in general I seem to feel less than others about everything.

However, it's not just that. I don't and have never had an endorphin rush from exercise. If I take codeine I don't get any of the sensations of either a rush or being spaced out. I can't get drunk as if I have two glasses or wine max, I get very lightheaded, flushed and have to stop.

It feels like my body doesn't experience things in the same way as the majority do. Can anyone empathise or offer an explanation?

No answers, but I often feel like this.

Often I feel like I'm just in the middle. I have a very happy outlook and optimistic nature, but feel I don't remember things normally.
If I try to think of my happiest memory, I'm stumped.
I've never had the endorphin rush from exercise and alcohol treats me similar now I'm in my late 30's!

My anger dissipates really quickly too and I rarely lose my temper.

My ex was a narc and emotionally abusive, so I wonder if I've built up walls to protect myself from emotional extremes.

It doesn't really affect me day to day though, so I don't give it much thought.

doesn't sound particularly unusual to me.

I feel like that sometimes too and over the years have had longer periods of feeling quite flat. So you are not abnormal.

What can I say to you to reassure, I don't know, but it seems to have evened out as I've got older and am generally happier now.

We're all different op. I sometimes wonder if there is anyone who is 'normal'.

Have you always been this way or is it new?

Have you ever been in a situation that would cause extremes of emotion though?

Something that triggers your fight/flight/freeze response for example?

There a lots of people who don't overreact to things, things that others jump for joy at or cry at etc but they still feel things and in a real situation that requires you to feel like danger or grief about a very close person they react entirely appropriately (just maybes not exhibiting the same external behaviour as some others) for example you might not be draped over the coffin wailing or screaming hysterically at the danger but your still feeling it

Actually upstartcrow makes a valid point if this is new my answer would be different.

Thanks for your messages and questions. I'm 50 this year, so no longer young! I have been through difficult times and have felt grief for example, but it has been sadness, rather than anger or overt distress, if that makes sense? I felt on a high when my DSs were born, but seem to experience less strength of emotion than others (aside from a fear of flying, which is totally out of control and overwhelming).

I think I am maybe conflating two things.

What I intended to ask was about my reaction (or lack) to endorphins/drugs rather than my ongoing mood. I forgot to mention that I have been prescribed a variety of things ending in 'ezpan' for if I need to fly, and they have barely no effect at all either. Others tell me they knock them out! I'm wondering if my brain is just unresponsive to drugs? Is that a thing?

Well I can only speak for myself but I have been told that I am "drug resistant"

So, antidepressants, pain medications, sleep medications, even injections at the dentist all don't work enough in the usual dose as they do for others.

I also remember having a general anaesthetic and hearing them say she should be out by now so I assume ga's too.

Having never been on things like heart medication, insulin, thyroid meds and Iv never taken illegal drugs etc I don't know if they would be the same.

To be honest I don't know if I'm just particularly odd or if it's a thing that others experience too.