2nd birthday gift?????

[Hadalifeonce]

Going to visit in-laws soon, sent nephew a card and money for his birthday (15) some weeks ago. Have been informed that part of this trip is as a birthday celebration for DN, no problem with this, except we are being asked to bring a birthday gift. I told DH we have already done the gift thing on his birthday, and are not providing a 2nd. DH thinks I am being a bit unreasonable. We are not particularly well off at the moment, AIBU?

You sent your nephew money; why not ask, on arrival, as you wish him a happy birthday, in a friendly, interested way, now that you finally have a chance to catch up face-to-face, how he spent his money gift, in the spirit of finding out more about his changing tastes and interests? I recently discovered a young relative's growing enthusiasm for star-gazing, and contributed to a telescope of their choosing.

no one can make you bring a 2nd gift, ridiculous for them to make you feel you should, just say when you arrive dn has already had his gift from us, and ask what he spent it on , ynbu!!

Only the queen gets two birthdays.

Wish him a happy birthday in person and eat a slice of cake.

Tell them to bank transfer the £15 back to you so you can buy a gift with it. Cheeky dickunts.

Seriously, who even requests a gift for the original birthday/party?! Surely gifts are lovely to receive but never expected or requested...

Take him some chocolate or sweets and be done with it (whatever's on offer for £1 will do).

Which CFs ask you to give a teenager another present weeks after his birthday? It's not even a landmark birthday!

But I think the suggestion you take a £1 bag of sweets is the one I'd go for. I'd probably hand it over and say loudly "Just a token as we sent you a cash gift for your actual birthday - you never let us know what you spend it on, by the way."

You were probably sent a standard invitation which wouldn't make allowances for anyone who has already sent a gift. I bet you won't be the only one! You don't have to do it again, no-one will expect that. Stop worrying. If your husband wants to do something extra, let him as long as he doesn't go OTT.

It wasn't an invitation as such. We have been invited for a couple of days, as often happens in the summer. just a family catch up. last night DH said, oh it's a bit of a birthday thing. It was this morning DH mentioned a present.

I certainly don't want DH doing anything, we are tightening our belts a bit at the moment, so by the time we have bought food and drink to take down, I don't need the hassle of an additional spend when it's not necessary.

So who asked you to bring a birthday gift ?

From your 2nd post, it sounds as if dh has suddenly thought 'Oh, we should take a gift if they are mentioning birthdays' , forgetting (or not knowing if you did it?) that you've already done so.

Apparently it was an email from his sister.

I hope it was sent before his birthday, and DH didn't don anything about it, so the card etc. has superseded that email.

I would find out if your nephew actually received the £15.......

It was cheque for £20, no idea if he has received it, we never get an acknowledgement.
But I am really miffed, DH has obviously bought another card for DN, and there is a pile of wrapped presents, not sure if they are for his DS or DN.