AIBU to hate it when grown-ups ask little children if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

[TakesTheCake]

Swimming teacher this morning, asks every single child (aged 3-4) if they have a girlfriend or boyfriend, before they jump in the pool. Other swimming teacher is asking her group what their favourite colour is and is getting much better and joyful responses.

I have always hated the girlfriend/boyfriend question. I hated it as a kid too, and in my experience little kids either get embarrassed or confused. That isn’t their world yet and I think it is foisting grown-up stuff on them before they are ready.

I am half Dutch and they just don’t do it there. Whenever grown-ups ask my boys this question I always seethe a little. Why not enter their world? Have never seen the question bring happy chatter or responses from my boys. (Ask them about superheroes though and you will be there all day.) 😂 Might be different for girls, though?

AIBU?!

I absolutely hate this question asked to children. It's pathetic. My il's are the worst culprit.

Dd is 9 and just looks baffled when they ask her. It did make me laugh when she told them she prefers to concentrate on her studies.

There is a group of boys who she is very good friends with, but that's because they have things in common and insinuating that they 'fancy' each other, is downright weird.

Ugh it's awful. I hated it as a kid too. I remember any time I mentioned a male friend by name, immediately all the adults in the vicinity would go "Oooh, is he your BOYFRIEND?" and I would be utterly baffled as to why they had jumped to that conclusion when clearly, he was just my friend.

I teach kids between 3 and 14(an extra curricular hobby activity) and I'd never ask this. The older ones would be mortified but under 7s might say "guess what Miss Jackety, Tommy is my booyyfffriiend" but I'd just say "well then!" with a raised eyebrow and they'd find it hilarious.

It's a bit weird but it might be that she can't think of an "icebreaker" type question. I normally go with tell me about your pets for older kids, favourite animal, favourite colour or favourite food. It's not that it's totally inappropriate as I'm sure it's meant innocently but it just doesn't resonate with little ones.

What planet are these people on? People have a horrible habit of asking my teenager of he has a girlfriend and I hate that but at least he has a concept of what a girlfriend is and it's not completely out of the ordinary for a 15 year old to have or want a girlfriend. But it just adds pressure and he's being affected by it. But 3 or 4 year olds?! WTF?

Oh my gosh, this is so unanimous. Because it is such a common question for grown-ups to ask kids, I thought there would be some answers like “it’s just a bit of fun” (but actually I can’t get inside the mind of a person who would ask it to even guess what they might say in defence!). I thought I might be being a bit curmudgeonly but this is clearly unanimous here!

YANBU OP, I agree. I used to hate it when I was little and was asked this (luckily it tended to be just one friend of the family who did) and I hate it when anyone asks my DC. It wouldn’t occur to me to ask any child this!

Very inappropriate, my D's is 6 and does swimming lessons and never has anything like that.

Can you complain!

Totally agree I have always found this gross. Even when partners “tease” their young children about fancying a kid at school etc. There was a woman on mumsnet referring to her 16year olds bf as her “partner” thought that was weird too

I know someone who recently said that her own daughter has had a boyfriend for 5 years. They're about 8. I guess some parents would not be uncomfortable about the question, but I think I would be (my DC are a lot older and I don't think this ever happened to them).

Trouble is some parents encourage this kind of weird nonsense. There a girl at ds school (she’s same age as him 9) and her parents put a fb picture up of her plastered in make up with the caption “date night”! Wtf???

I hate it. It's horrible and inappropriate. I remember when I took DD1 to her induction morning at school (when she was going to be starting reception) a couple of years ago and the mums of girls were all saying to one mother of a particular boy that all the girls would be fighting over him to be their boyfriend. I just looked at them like they were mad. 3

Some parents definitely encourage it and think it's funny. The mother of the little boy my daughter is friends with said to me that she thinks they want to get married. I just gave her a weak smile.

I hate this but I know/have known people to say "my DD has a little boyfriend at nursery" I think it's grim.

As is that Daddy/Daughter Date bollocks (the US Version)

OMG that daddy/daughter date thing is just weird!

Daddy/daughter dates (and worse still, pledges) are downright freaky.
A friend of DD's (they're 7 & 8 years old) apparently has a girlfriend who he's going to marry. The parents of both of the children say so anyway, in a joking tone. I'd roll my eyes but I've done that so much lately I think I've strained them.

That's a really odd way to make small talk with the children. How old is she?

YANBU OP. I hate this shit! When I was a kid I had an aunt and uncle who were always on at me like that and I remember feeling so embarrassed and upset. I wouldn't do it to any child.

GreatDuckCookery she is about 55-60 years old. She did it again today (summer intensive - every day for a week) but luckily my little boy is in her daughter’s group and thankfully she asks appropriate questions!

YADNBU!! Seriously inappropriate question to ask a child. I'd actually have to say something myself.

I remember when my Dads older friend asked me if I was courting when I was about 13... creepy!

This morning she asked them their favourite animal. Happy responses all round. :-)

I think you should tell the teacher that you heard her ask the question earlier in the week, that you think it's inappropriate and made your child (and you) uncomfortable and you know that a lot of other parents feel the same. But maybe also tell her what you do like about her teaching!

Not unanimous, wouldn't have bothered me as is an obvious silly question. I don't object in principle to people being put slightly out of their comfort zone, either.

Asking 13-14yos... now THAT would be very ill-judged.

I did have a boyfriend when I was 5, mind.