Other people's DC on social media

[OnoAnotherNC]

I think it's understandable that I'm upset about this, however I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or not. Genuinely interested to see what the MN jury has to say.

A year ago my then partner (and father of my DC) announced that after many years of infidelity and generally shit behaviour, he was in love with the OW and I and DC needed to move out so he could have his fun life with young woman, money etc.

I was devastated (and homeless) but managed to get my life together pretty quickly and can now see it as the blessing in disguise that it truly was.

At the time his family (who I had been close to) were horrified by his behaviour and there were many offers of coming to stay with them, protestations of how I would always be in their lives etc. etc.

Luckily I became independent very fast and have my own family for support.

Several months on, after the dust had settled, Ex decided that he was Father Of The Year and wanted to see DC every weekend. He has them every other weekend.

A year on, I have to say goodbye to my children EOW so they can spend time with their Dad and the woman who effectively made us homeless not that long ago - which hurts every time.

His DSis is very active on social media - always has been, and I am connected with her. My issue is that every time I go on social media there are rafts of pictures and videos of my DC playing with her children (fine) and the OW. Not that I am connected to OW on social, but I know she puts pictures of my DC up as well.

Now I have moved on with my life and am very happy, but I cannot forgive the betrayal of Ex and OW (who I knew) and this hurts me a lot.

I have a new BF and he has children who I get on well with (and his Ex Wife who divorced many years before we met) but I don't put pictures of them on my social media as I am not connected with her and I think it's rather disrespectful.

So basically it hurts me to see someone living my life in my old house with my children and no one can tell me that it doesn't. But is it unreasonable to expect that these photos of my children aren't plastered all over social media within a year of our split?

I would suggest speaking to your ex partner and his girlfriend, and saying that you don’t want images of your children on social media until they are at an age when they can choose to post (that’s actually my policy as it happens, there are no photographs of my daughter on social media whatsoever).

However if you yourself have posted (and want to continue to post images ) on social media then perhaps YABU - you can’t claim sole right to post images , he is also a parent and he has the same choices and rights

So either go blanket no for everyone, or he is allowed to post

Oh it's a difficult one.

I totally get how it hurts. But I also don't think you can dictate what someone posts.

A year is a long time when you aren't directly involved. Whilst his sister may have been supportive at first, she was unlikely to cut contact with her brother. Having contact with her brother means having contact with OW.

Again, if your ex is ok with his kids being on his girlfiends social media, there isn't much you can do.

I am sorry you are hurting and this must be painful for you. I would suggest following the sister or befriending her so you can't see these things.

Ok thanks guys