Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think people are becoming more thoughtless these days

8 replies

ShatnersWig · 07/08/2018 08:14

Try to keep this short as possible!

Group of friends, six of us, one couple (A&B), four singles (C, D, E & F), three of each sex. Known each other for years, socialise as a group one evening most weekends.

A couple of times last year A&B plus C & D went out but didn't invite E & F but plastered photos of their nights out, meaning E & F realised they hadn't been invited and felt a bit hurt. No one minds people doing things in pairs, or all the women, or all the men, but if you do things with the majority of the gang but don't invite one or two, keep it off social media.

Anyway, C now has a partner, G. C&G have chats about going away for a long weekend on the coast with A&B, a place we've all been as a group but where A's dad also lives. All think great idea and agree to sort out in a few weeks. This weekend C texts B to say "shall we fix a date" and B replies "oh, we're there now, actually, A needed to come and see dad". C&G think no more of it. Until that night, of course, up on Facebook are A&B with E - clearly not family stuff at all.

C&G feel very hurt, not so much they they weren't invited although it had been discussed, but not telling them it was happening, lying to them about it and being stupid enough to be caught out lying via Facebook.

I'm F in this situation, knew nothing about it until it happened but have had C&G bending my ear about it all last night.

AIBU to think friends are often more thoughtless in these days of social media and that I should find some friends who cause less drama (I think A is a potential Wendy, too).

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 07/08/2018 08:22

I'm not sure why everyone has to be invited to everything. It's not nice to leave just one person out but if 4 of the 6 of you go out together then I don't really see what's wrong with that.

In the holiday cottage example, just because A went with E, it doesn't mean they can't go with C another weekend does it?

Sounds like a lot of unnecessary drama

ShatnersWig · 07/08/2018 08:27

I agree, it's a ridiculous amount of drama @Shoxfordian. As I said, I don't have an issue with just 4 of the 6 doing something but I wouldn't have put it on Facebook because it made the other 2 feel hurt they weren't invited (bearing in mind the group really do spend one evening together most weekends). I think the issue with the holiday cottage was that they should just have said "we're going down here with E, we'll sort something out" rather than say they were down to see the parent when they actually weren't. Why lie?

I'm the one who tends to get their ear bent when others have their noses put out of joint. Enough already!

OP posts:
IceCreamFace · 07/08/2018 08:29

YANBU it's unkind to leave out a minority or to just go off and do something you'd all planned to do without some of the group.i think some people deliberately do this as they like to feel part of a more exclusive group so they feel important. Some people are just thoughtless and if they're not the one left out they don't care.

Shoxfordian · 07/08/2018 08:32

People uploading pictures on Facebook are just not that savvy. Either they don't realise you'll all see it or they don't think you'd be upset. Has anyone not invited ever said anything? Maybe do some stuff with F separately as well.

Is it possible they were seeing the parent as well when they were in the cottage and E was there too but they didn't mention it because of all this drama flying around?

Neshoma · 07/08/2018 08:36

YNBU Everyone's out for their own gratification these days.

ShatnersWig · 07/08/2018 08:37

@Shoxfordian No, they know others see what they put on FB, trust me on that one. Parent owns a restaurant and weekends they are always flat out. They may have seen him while eating there on Saturday night, but otherwise they certainly didn't see him the rest of the weekend, that was clear from everything posted on FB. So, actually, they created the drama by lying to C&G that they were down to do family stuff and six hours later start posting stuff all weekend about which pub they were sat in now, with photos.

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 07/08/2018 09:03

Oh god. It's kicking off. Now got D messaging me having heard C&G are upset and saying A&B have form for this and Wendying. ARGH!

OP posts:
paintinmyhairAgain · 07/08/2018 09:07

one very good reason i can't be bothered with social media - too much drama ! Smile

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread