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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to keep it here?

16 replies

ABadIdea · 06/08/2018 19:00

DS got an Amazon tablet for his birthday. I put limits on the amount of time he goes on it but I allow him longer if we are on long journeys so he is kept occupied.

When DS goes on long journeys with his dad he doesn't make sure DS has things to keep himself entertained. DS is due to travel for several hours in the next week and I feel bad for not sending him with the tablet. When he goes to stay with his dad the tablet doesn't go with him. Items which go there are rarely returned with DS so that's one reason. I also want to make sure it's well looked after. Things have been broken. My main concern is that it's linked to my Amazon, Netflix and various other accounts so I am reluctant to let it get into my ex's hands. For context he was/is emotionally, verbally, financially abusive and controlling. His background is IT so I worry he would be able to get into it despite the security set up. He previously tried to hack my computer.

I know it belongs to DS and should go where he is rather than being kept at home although nothing from his dad's house ever comes here with him. AIBU not to suggest it goes with him?

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 06/08/2018 19:02

No, keep it at home. Will ds ask to take it?

ABadIdea · 06/08/2018 19:05

I don't think he'll ask as only certain toys ever tend to go with him. I don't like the idea of him sitting on a long journey feeling bored. The fact I am worrying about this and my ex doesn't worry about how DS spends his time says it all really.

OP posts:
olivea · 06/08/2018 19:06

I think it depends how old ds is. If he's a teenager then I think he should be able to take it and he would therefore be able to say no to his dad using it.
But if he's like 8 then I would keep it at home.

ABadIdea · 06/08/2018 19:09

He's 7.

I will keep it at home.

OP posts:
hodgeheg92 · 06/08/2018 19:11

YANBU. Your reasons for not sending him with it are strong. He'll be okay without it, boredom won't harm him.

Roo2012 · 06/08/2018 19:12

Maybe get him a magazine with stickers etc and give it to him as he leaves. That will give him something to be entertained with, without having to send the tablet.

WhoWants2Know · 06/08/2018 19:26

I just had a couple long train journeys with kids in tow. We managed with notebooks, pens, playing cards and magazines.

If you want to make it nice for him, you can spend a couple of quid on some entertaining bits and keep the tablet at home.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/08/2018 19:34

Don't send it. Tbh, I go on lots of long journeys with dds, 7&9, and have never ever taken anything with us. They think that's the norm. We chat, play word games, they look out of the window, sleep. I like chatting to them in the car, it's the only time I've got absolute nothing better to do than talk to them (!), so perfect opportunity.

ABadIdea · 06/08/2018 19:35

Thanks for the responses.

I always have a range of books and magazines for him too. I will try and send some with him.

OP posts:
ABadIdea · 06/08/2018 19:38

I also do lots of car journeys with just the two of us but without a sibling to chat to or play with he needs a bit of something else when they are really long. Before he had the tablet he only had me or a magazine to occupy him.

OP posts:
SummerofDoom · 06/08/2018 20:12

I wouldn't send the tablet but if you're worried he won't have anything to look at could you take him to choose a magazine, maybe a pack of sweets or a snack and a small toy/game? My 6yo loves her rubix cube and reads magazines in the car. That way it won't matter too much it they don't come back and they don't take up too much space if his dad has planned something.

MumW · 06/08/2018 20:21

I used to make an I-Spy card. Look for sheep, large chimneys, horse rider, yellow car, tractor, car transport, caravan, car towing a boat, dog being walked, suspension bidge, tunnels etc. It helps if you are familiar with the route but not impossible.

IceCreamFace · 06/08/2018 20:25

YANBU - we all survived long journeys without tablets he'll be fine. As PP suggested why not go with him to choose a special magazine or toy or book that will keep him entertained while with his dad.

GrainneWail · 06/08/2018 20:43

How about getting him an mp3 player and child suitable headphones? Dd is the same age and has a selection of music and audio books on hers. She'll happily listen to them while drawing or just looking out the window.

serbska · 06/08/2018 21:05

He’s 7? Get him a puzzle book, a sticker book and a comic book.

Keep the tablet at hone away from your arehole ex.

WhoWants2Know · 06/08/2018 22:12

A trip to The Works (if you have one nearby) will kit him out with no end of affordable crap to keep him busy

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