To make a formal complaint about colleague?

[orangeju1ce]

I have a colleague whose hygiene is absolutely atrocious. The same clothes are worn for up to three weeks at a time and the smell is horrendous. To make matters worse he has been wearing a coat(!!!) to walk to work in this heatwave which is only making things worse.

He has been like this for as long as I can remember but with the current weather it's becoming unbearable. His chair is stained black where he doesn't wash his clothes and his mouse and keyboard are covered with some kind of residue (dead skin I would assume).

It's not just me who has noticed- our manager has spoken to him several times however hasn't dealt with it directly and just said things like "are you taking care of yourself", so no improvement is ever made.

I am now at the point where I am considering making a formal complaint, myself and others are having to keep moving desks as it's unbearable- and I don't see it ever being dealt with informally.

Any advice please???

I hear you OP. I got stuck with a similar situation and it was horrendous, he worked in a tiny room and whenever we had to go in it was just VILE.

He got sacked for a very different reason but my god it was a blessing

OP re the coat
I used to work with a lady who couldn't tell temps or notice if she was sweating, I don't know what the condition was but it was quite bad as she once leaned on a radiator for a really long time and had marks on her arms.

she used to know this though, so she told us to just be honest if she was whiffy and also she would look at the weather and how others were dressed. She did give the impression that she had had to learn this as an adult and had some help from a healthcare provider because she had other medical issues.

hopefully your HR will have heard of similar and be in a position to point him to help if he has anything medical.

Its such a difficult one isn't it. My parents were of the generation where they had a weekly bath and a top and tail on a Wednesday! My DM has a shower every day but my DF.....

Anyway. Its such a sensitive subject that you might need to be crystal clear, no hints, or confusing language. He needs to understand that he needs to wash every day, his clothes need to be laundered even if he has to go to a laundrette. The fact that he said he didn't realise he needed to wash his clothes indicates he really is struggling to understand what he needs to do. Follow up in writing. Otherwise I fear he will come out of the conversation non the wiser about what you are trying to say.

As a line manager, I have had to deal with this kind of thing a few times. Always men. Young lads would just need a little 'mum' style chat about showering every day, buying deodorant is not an optional extra, and ask someone if they don't know how the washing machine works

Older men are a whole different problem. They have gotten to this age without learning the basic skills, as above. It's easy to educate a young lad. But when the man is of an age where there is no excuse for not knowing this stuff, you need a much more direct approach.

Write it down as part of an action plan. A list of steps to take and how he should proceed to achieve them. And with the understand he will be sent home, and need to make the time back, if he comes to work in unsuitable attire and without bathing.

Then try to disconnect your empathy and treat it the same way as someone coming in with too short a skirt or ripped at the seams trousers.

Line managers need to step up and deal with this properly, not allowed to literally fester.

Of course Melting is right too. Too many people jump in saying that its mental health etc. Sometimes its just that they cannot be arsed! My nephew robbed a retail shop, sent to jail but his Mother said it wasn't he fault as he had Anger Management Issues and people just didn't understand and were picking on him, He kicked off at school and hit a teacher. Again - wasn't his fault.....

Going in day in day out and then sitting next to someone like that is completely unacceptable. Many years ago we had a manager who was like this but he was married and had children. God knows how. He smelt really bad. He wore the same suit every day and it was stained with sweat marks under the arms. When he leaned over you you felt like being sick.

I am not sure the workplace is for people like this chap tbh. I know it sounds awful and companies are required to make reasonable adjustments when people are disabled which is quite right but this is just not fair on everyone else. If the company decided to employ someone like this then they need to resolve this quickly.

@sunglasses123

What exactly do you mean with regard to disability adjustments and 'not being fair on people who have to work with them' (people who need adjustments)?

I remember we had someone doing installations who was a bit whiffy. He was doing a install on a pregnant persons desk who had to be there. You could see her heaving from it.

I mentioned it to his manager who had a word. It was rectified.... I think they took him off installs in the end

I managed a person like this. Their hygiene was appalling but was a result of a mental health issue they suffered with. Colleagues complained about him but nothing could be done aside than have a polite word, because we knew about his disability and it was not worth risking disciplinary action.

The difficult thing was managing other peoples' complaints. We couldn't tell them that the individual had a mental health issue (because the individual wanted it kept private, which was fair enough) so to 95% of staff it just looked like this one person was filthy and management didn't care about it.

What I'm saying is, just because you make a complaint don't expect anything to be done about it. Especially if a situation has been going on for years.

There was a thread last year I think of a woman who was working with someone with terrible hygiene issues. There were all sorts of things going on. Obviously more common than you realise x

Just as likely though would work out to be around 50-50, right?

Absolutely. Which is why it can't be stated that people on the spectrum /often/ don't wash, because then they /often/ do wash too, right?

I've worked with people who to all intents and purposes appear to be fully functioning members of society (and I'm well aware of how frequently MH issues affect people - I'm one of them) and they were just plain smelly! They were all highly intelligent and eccentric - three were PhDs in senior roles. One smelled so bad we had to air the meeting room out afterwards. He left skin flakes everywhere and always wore the same suit jacket. Another was very young and just didn't realise he needed to wash frequently. He always had greasy hair and you could see his shirt collar getting darker and the armpits more stained. Our manager spoke to him and he was treating his suit like school uniform - One shirt and clean trousers per week, and didn't wash his suit jacket. He was advised that on his salary he could buy a few extra suits and rotate them, putting them in for dry cleaning once a month. And he was advised to shower more and wear deodorant. Both were married with children, I wonder if their wives had noses! The last one had the condition that makes you sweat excessively. He showered twice daily, but still stunk, poor guy.

In this heat, one of our office staff has really smelly feet and insists on wearing sandals. She knows and goes to the loo and washes her feet in the sink, but other staff object to that too. She can't win!

It just frustrates me when ASD/mental health is trotted out time and time again. Sometimes people just don't notice their own smell, don't realise, or perhaps they've never had someone teach them about hygiene. My DM complains bitterly that her DM only let her take a weekly bath and then thought DM was being unnecessary for wanting to wash more as a teen. DM was about 15 and had caught a whiff of herself. DGM was lovely, but never taught DM a thing about her body/cleanliness/skincare because that was "private". DM has/had no MH issues and went overboard teaching us as kids.

YANBU. This is what your manager is paid for - they need to talk to smelly man clearly and tell them this cannot go on.

Thanks everyone for the comments.

Just as an update- he is wearing what appears to be a fresh shirt. I haven't gotten close enough to him to see if the BO is still an issue but it appears a step in the right direction. Hope it lasts!

It is difficult- at work we have a lovely young female doctor. She's pretty & wears smart clothes & make up but it seems she doesn't wear deodorant!

It's a shame & none of us feel able to say anything.

I would be tempted to take her to one side & gently say something as I like her & everyone is moaning about it but it's not really my place to as I'm just a care assistant.

Well you said the gentle supportive approach hadn't worked so hopefully the blunt spelling it out will. Although if he 'didn't realise' he needed to wash daily & change dirty clothes, then does he realise deodorant is a must too (hope manager mentioned that too, for all your sakes). I wonder if its mild depression (personal hygiene is often first thing to go) or he was never taught life skills & was too socially isolated to learn them from his peer group. Either way it's a bit sad.