How much does an age gap matter?

[blingbling1]

NC for this one!
So my sister is 29 and announced today that she is marrying her bf who is 46, my family was cool with it - he's a nice guy and treats her well, my dh is 7 years older than me and my parents don't really care as long as we are happy.
Anyway after they came to tell us they went to tell his family who didn't take it so well. His parents think she is after his money even though he isn't rich and her salary is higher than his, his sister totally freaked out and told them he was an embarrassment to the family and that he was going to die well before her.
So she turns up at mine in tears and has been here since 3:00 crying her eyes out, saying she's not sure about marrying him now if everyone is against her.

AIBU to think age doesn't really matter? And how much of a gap is too big in your opinion?

There are reasons age gaps are concerning sometimes. I often see older men with younger women because, frankly, the men are kind of wankers and think a younger woman is easier to control.

But his family just sound weird. Has he had long term relationships before?

If she's actually going to let his batshit family stop her marrying him and get this wound up about it maybe they're better off not getting married...

mrsterry yes he was married for 11 years but his wife died 5 years ago and has been single since then, he has a grown up daughter and my sister has a 5 year old if that matters.

I personally think age shouldn't really matter unless the people in the relationship have different wants. Children etc

I was 18 and had a fling with someone 38. My parents wouldn't have been impressed and in hindsight maybe it was odd as I was very immature and young.

At my current age mid thirties.
Men up to the age of around 55 are attractive to me
And down to around 25.

Her in laws sound mental.

How long has she been going out with him?

Age gaps 'lessen' as you get older any way.

16 and 32 - we'd all raise an eye brow

30 and 46 - not so much

By the time they are 70 and 86 no one would think twice about it.

Bu you also have to remember that just because there is an age difference, it doesn't preclude your sister rom ever getting ill and needing care, so it shouldn't be assumed she will be his carer in years to come.

Are they on the same page regarding children though?

NewYear they have been going out for almost 3 years, he adores her little boy, they would both like one more child but if it doesn't happen by the time he is 50 they would stop trying and are both ok with that and may look into adoption instead.

It shouldn't stop her marrying him if they're really in love and committed. My DH is over a decade older than me though, and in my twenties I didn't give it a second thought; 20 years later I do think quite a lot about how things will be once we're properly old (which he is nearing much sooner than me) and about how long I will quite likely be on my own once he's gone, etc. It wouldn't have stopped me marrying him, but it is something to think about.

Also, DH's mum is 20 years younger than her husband and it had a significant impact on how they lived, once he was past 70 or so (obviously still a long way off for your sister and her partner!) She basically 'became' much older to fit in with him, and her life became quite limited because he wanted/was able to do so much less. Plus she will be long widowed (he died a few years ago).

Sorry, this wasn't meant to all sound so morbid!!

I have couples in my family with large age gaps of about the same (15-20 year gaps with both older men/younger women and older woman/younger man).

They do raise eyebrows sometimes but no one in our families care. They have been together a while and as long as they are happy that is the main thing.

If your sister and her OH are happy that is the main thing. They are not hurting anyone and if they make each other happy that is what matters. His family will come around.

There's 14 years between me and DH, and although I could kill the bastard sometimes, we've been married for 23 years.

Your dsis is crazy to be listening to this shot.

Shit not shot. Stupid iPad

I am the age of the bf in this scenario and I cannot imagine having anything in common with a 29 year old. I would not feel we were on an equal footing at all. But I wouldn't comment to someone else doing it.