Partner in late pregnancy

[xoxoxoxoxo]

Looking for some unbiased views on this please!

I'm 36 weeks pregnant, and SAHM to a 2 year old. Obviously this is rather challenging in the middle of a heatwave, I've been trying my best but am really struggling with not sleeping and keeping my toddler entertained. However in the week when DH is at work - and he does work bloody hard - we're getting by. My mum comes round for half an hour almost every week day which helps and DHs parents come for a morning twice a week too.

Where we're having a conflict is when it comes to weekends. I feel like for the next couple of weeks, DH should be here giving me a bit of a rest from DC which means not playing football on a Saturday afternoon. I'm not talking about long term I'm talking until baby is here and a couple of weekends after (I'm having an ELCS at 39 weeks).

We've fallen out this weekend because yesterday, DH went out to a gig that meant him leaving home at 1pm and not getting one until 2am despite 1) me asking him not to book it in the first place when it came up ages ago 2) me asking him not to go repeatedly knowing how difficult I've been finding things 3) me asking him not to go yesterday after DC was up for hours on Friday night and we were all knackered plus then he missed his nap meaning he was an absolute nightmare all afternoon.

He thinks I'm complete UR because in his eyes I could have just got his parents to come and help me for the afternoon. I think he's UR because his parents are already here helping out a couple of times a week and 1) I don't want to take the piss and 2) as much as I love them I don't want them here all the time AND because frankly, it's his responsibility to step up and put his family first.

He is complaining he doesn't get any 'me time' in this scenario. I think at at end of pregnancy and later with a newborn and toddler I can't even remember what me time is so he needs to bloody well man up and get on with it!

Thoughts?

It's not like a gig is every week, it's usually a one off every once in a while and I'd have no issue with it. He's working hard so that you don't have too and you have parental support very often and there's only one child to be looked after. How will you cope with two?

Hmm. I wouldn't begrudge him the after noon playing football but he needs to then take toddler out for the morning or the following day so you can rest.

I'll cope fine with two, just like I cope fine with one usually. Just not heavily pregnant, in the middle of the hottest summer of my life!

I am with you in this. You need extra support. You are growing one human and looking after another. You deserve a break too. "Working hard so you don't have to" made me laugh. I would say you are working hard so he has the freedom to go to work! Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy x

When he's home at the weekends, does he give you 'me time' in return? Or is he merely present and still leaves the parenting up to you?

I would be inclined to let him go to football, and then bugger off out for the whole of Sunday. Maybe visit your parents' and put your feet up?

To be fair (and give you and accurate picture) he did today offer to take DC out. But yet again to his parents. Literally he only thing he ever can do or suggest is go to his parents or to get his parents to help. I told him not to bother because it irritates me so much which probably was cutting my nose off to spite my face (and a bit unreasonable) but I am sick of him treating his mum and dad like DCs third parent.

Btw I have no problem with his parents. I love them and DC adores them. I have issue with him thinking they are the solution whenever he wants to bugger off out.

Sound like you and dp's parents will soon be raising two children together.