... are there significant things about you that DH/DP does not know?

[NCANother]

DSister recently got married. Had meet the groom a few times, but not had to chance to get to know him. Recently, they were visiting, and we got to chatting about of lot of things. He seems really nice, I think they are a good match (her 2nd marriage, late 30s, no kids).

However, it was clear from the conversation that there are fairly significant things about her an her life that were not know to the new DH (career change, where she lived, etc. and others).

I got me thinking about how well we really know our partners!

@Doidontimmm how awful sending do you think you need to talk about it now??

I've known my dh a long time as part of the same group of friends so he knows a bit of my shameful sexual past. (It's not at all shameful and painfully ordinary!

He doesn't know how many people I've slept with and I won't bring it up as I've a horrible feeling he only ever slept with his ex wife before me..,,.i don't want to think thats true and she's the only comparison!

I also never told him about the almost fling I had on holiday with some friends after we moved in together. Nothing happened because the guy said to me "I've never been with a lather girl" (I was a size 12!!) and then I caught his friend going through my bag so I kicked them both out. Not sure now dh needs to know any of that!!

I'm sure there's loads of things I don't know about him and I don't want to know due to having an ex wife!! Occasionally in the past I told him to shhh when telling me something they did together and tbh after 15 years with me and only 5 with her I think he's forgotten most of it!!

Larger girl...not lather!

@motortroll no Im fine. Don’t know what possessed me to post that!!

There’s very little of importance, thinking about it. Details of previous sex life - neither of us want to discuss that! We never had that chat when dating, but things crop up occasionally & we’ll ask ‘ever done that?’

That reminds that dh also doesn’t know that I CAN’T speak French. For some absolutely unknown reason on one of our first dates I told him that I was ‘pretty much fluent’ . We’ve been together 12 years (3 of which we lived in a town where you can see France. I’ve always managed to find an excuse not to go to France and it’s far too late to own up to my lie now. He’d never let me live it down.

Just realised my previous post about speaking French makes me sound completely mad. I should have said that my sister’s husband (and his parents obvs) are French.

Alley!

I was also a kissOgram

And funnily enough - DP doesn’t know

He also doesn’t know abiut my promiscuity and prolific shoplifting either

I got with DH at the end of my 20s and had been leading a fairly colourful life up to that point. He doesn't know 'my number' or the ins and outs of any sexual exploits prior to him (nor does he care, bless him) but is fully aware of the drugs.

But there is one thing I have actively kept from him and will always keep from him - when we first started going out (like, the first week), I slept with someone else at a party then turned up on his doorstep the next day hungover (at his invitation!) and he looked after me. I feel bad about that - in my defence I felt at the time we hadn't known each other long enough to be exclusive, but he was so lovely and caring and I did like him A LOT straight away, so it feels wrong. But he doesn't need to know, it would just hurt him for no reason. So I keep schtum.

Name changed for this. But anyhow, the answer is "yes".

I had NCed for this, so after a few glasses of white wine: most people had no interest in previous partners relationships, but as you’ll see from earlier post I needed to know where I stood with DP with (because we were making decision on relocating together having only met a few weeks before) ... so that evening we both shared a lot of details ... I found it really erotic ... we were drunk ... never spoken about again, but it’s something I think back about sometimes

Based on this thread I’m an outlier ... I guess I should NC back now :)

He knows pretty much everything about me. Been best friends since 20/19 and together since 21/20

A lifetime together