Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anxiety over losing my pregnancy notes.

17 replies

MrSpock · 05/08/2018 10:22

Posting for traffic. I’m extremely anxious over this. Please be gentle.

I was under the recurrent miscarriage team for the first 12 weeks and have a set of notes they gave me. I then had my booking with my community midwives, who are a bit useless, at 15 weeks. I do not remember being given extra notes.

When I went to my consultant appointment, I was chastised for not having my green notes with me. I completely forgot and said I’d bring them next time. I brought the ones from recurrent miscarriage but was told these are the wrong ones and should be from my midwife.

I cannot find these anywhere. I have ADHD, and a SN child, so there’s every chance I’ve lost them, but I also can’t remember being given them.

I’m paranoid if I say I’ve lost them, they’re going to say this is some sort of “chaotic” lifestyle and refer me to support agencies. They asked me loads of invasive questions at my booking about my previous history of depression and anxiety and I am scared they’ll use this as “evidence” I can’t cope (I can - I’m just crap with paperwork).

Am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:
bluemascara · 05/08/2018 10:24

You aren't being ridiculous at all... go a bit easier on yourself. They will have all the info the need on you backed up anyway.
Have a look for the notes but please stop fretting about them. The doctor who chastised you is a dick
Congratulations and good luck with your new arrival xxx

bluemascara · 05/08/2018 10:26

And the invasive questions are to ensure you get any support for MH issues you might have and also to root out any chance hat you're a victim of DV, and again give you support.
They will not refer you to SS on the basis that you have misplaced a set of notes x

Original poster
MrSpock · 05/08/2018 10:27

Thank you. It’s a very much wanted pregnancy and I went through a lot to get here so I am so so afraid of doing anything to jeopardise my family.

I’ve had a lot going on, and my eldest son had surgery recently and as I say has SN so is hard work, so I haven’t been on the ball with my notes. Sad

OP posts:
Anotherdayanotherdollar · 05/08/2018 10:28

If it was a new set of notes and you don't have them surely there wasn't too much (if anything) documented in them? Booking-in notes (if not in your early notes) can probably be reprinted. Maybe phone your midwife and ask for a new set?

bluemascara · 05/08/2018 10:29

Honestly you have done nothing wrong. If I had a penny for every time I lost something 'important'
I'm on my 5th debit card in 18 months and my neighbour beeps a key to my house and car as I know how scatty I am!

Original poster
MrSpock · 05/08/2018 10:29

I know logically the reasons are to offer support but I felt like I was on trial. They wouldn’t let DP in with me as they had to ask me alone and that made me extremely nervous because I have a fear of hospitals on my own due to a traumatic experience.

I sound like a nervous wreck and I’m not, I’m just extremely worried about anything to do with the pregnancy because of how wanted it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrSpock · 05/08/2018 10:30

I used to be awful with bank cards too. Lost four wallets in a year! I’m starting Concerta once twins are born so that should help. I find pregnancy makes my forgetfulness even worse!

OP posts:
NoNoCharlieRascal · 05/08/2018 10:35

Don't panic, lost notes are not the end of the world. If you can't remember being given them there is every chance you weren't. I would phone and speak to your midwife and say they were either lost or not given but you need a new set.

I've been given electronic notes for this pregnancy and they never bloody update them, no one actually seems fussed by this. All it's got is my booking in info, which is sparse anyway.

CitySnicker · 05/08/2018 10:40

Yeah. There’s a 50/50 chance you didn’t get them in the first place. Don’t beat yourself. Honestly. If in doubt, brazen it out (“did I get a green set of notes?”) they are really not that bothered I bet (other than the extra admin for them).

Original poster
MrSpock · 05/08/2018 10:42

Thanks everyone. :)

OP posts:
dinosaurkisses · 05/08/2018 10:45

You won’t be the first person and certainly won’t be the last to have lost your file!

The reason they might tut and moan about it is that it will be an annoying bit of admin for the unit to reproduce the file, but plenty of people lose things every day without being chaotic or unreliable.

SoyDora · 05/08/2018 10:47

About a week after DD1 was born I had a midwife appt at the clinic, and had my notes with me (all my notes from pregnancy, birth and post birth). After the appt I popped into marks and Spencer to get some nursing pyjamas and left my notes in there! I did eventually get them back (after I’d phoned the midwife absolutely hysterical and she’d calmed me down!).
These things happen. People misplace things (if you even had them in the first place). They won’t have had much info in them at that stage, and certainly nothing that isn’t backed up or can be replicated/repeated.
The ‘interrogation’ at booking is completely normal, they have to ask those questions to make sure you’re getting the support you need. They ask about DV without the partner present (again completely standard).
Don’t worry!

MatildaTheCat · 05/08/2018 10:49

Midwife here, lost notes are a fairly regular occurrence. Call the office and ask if you can please have a new copy. Depending on their systems you may need to be rebooked which as a bit of a pain but it happens. It’s also possible you weren’t given them if the midwife hadn’t completed the paperwork so do ask.

To be fair it’s very difficult for the staff when women come to appointments without their notes as they do contain all the information needed for that appointment. However, rudeness isn’t ok.

Just for context, the reason women were given handheld notes was historically because they were less likely to lose them that the hospital. So some losses are inevitable. I’m sure you won’t mislay them again.

Good luck. And please don’t be intimidated by the questions, they honestly are designed to help you, not persecute you.

BloodyWorried · 05/08/2018 14:45

In our area (at all three hospitals) patients aren’t given notes until their community midwife appointment after their first scan. There is a good chance you haven’t been given them.

BlueBug45 · 05/08/2018 15:23

@MrSpock at booking appointments they assess if you are a high risk patient who will need any additional form of medical and/or social support. (Funny thing is from my answers to the medical questions it was clear the booking midwife wasn't actually listening to me. ) In addition everytime I've seen someone new without my OH they ask about DV. Some HCPs will ask at a couple of appointments while others will just ask at one. You aren't the only one who has been upset about being asked about DV.

Original poster
MrSpock · 05/08/2018 15:32

It did upset me because my DP is a lovely kind person and he supports me throughout the medical problems I have. Obviously they can’t tell who is a victim of DV by looking, but that combined with all the questions about me having a psychiatrist and having taken ADs in the past made me feel like they thought I was some sort of incapable idiot of a woman. The question “have you ever had social services involvement due to your mental health?” was the one that upset me too. Just because I have ADHD and have had depression doesn’t mean my children aren’t cared for. (NOT that I’m suggesting anyone who is a victim is an idiot. That’s just how they made me personally feel).

OP posts:
SoyDora · 05/08/2018 15:34

My DH is also lovely and kind but they have no way of knowing that. It would be irresponsible for them not to ask.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread