Can someone cause mental health problems?

[thenightbeforechristmas]

I’ve always had fragile mental health. I was brought up in an abusive situation with a mother who hurled abuse and made my life hell. I left her home when I was 16.

I did ok, went to college, got a job, lived ok for a while and then met DP. It’s his mother who is making me feel ill again.

She is always making snide remarks, saying passive aggressive things about me or others. She tells me what she’s told other people about me, about my weight and the clothes I wear. How I look old and probably have I’ll health. I now worry about my health.

Can a person make you mentally ill? I think she sees I’m weak and does it on purpose. Picks on me, I mean.

Avoid her at all costs :(

Yes that can happen. If you are vulnerable to start with it's very easy for other people to exploit that.
As pp said you should avoid her.

Yes unfortunately another person can significantly impact on yiur mh

Yes!! I agree completely that another person can significantly and severely affect and impact one's mental health. It can happen more quickly if one already is in a vulnerable state or has mental health issues but can happen over time to anyone exposed to a person like that. I'd stay far away from her too!

You don't deserve to hear those remarks from her

Of course she can affect your mental health. She sounds poisonous.

Is your partner supportive? Has he told her to stop the nastiness?

Yes, block her out. There are definitely nasty people who enjoy belittling and being cruel. She sounds like one of these. See her as a poison be strong and ignore her, poison isn't good for anyone.

Actually Shock her, tell her to stfu and keep her nasty opinions to herself, adding she is not perfect either.

Thank you everyone. Partner doesn’t hear it, she says things when he’s not there. When he’s gone to the loo or something. Or sometimes she’ll say something and he doesn’t know it’s nasty, it goes over his head.

I’ve told him, he knows. He says not to answer the phone to her. He says it’s how she is to everyone but most people seem to be able to answer back people like her but I can’t.

Set up a secret camera and record her when your partner is out of the room. Wait until you have plenty of footage until you show him.

Also take assertiveness training and maybe counseling to build your self-esteem and ability to defend and protect yourself.

People like this drag you down, best avoided - completely if possible.

If someone makes you feel worse about yourself pretty much every time you see them, it's time to ask why you're invested in the relationship.

There are some very wise people here who have sadly experienced similar to you, they will have great suggestions for you.

No, a person cannot make you mentally ill. Imbalances of the brain are responsible for that. Can people make it more likely that (when given a imbalance) you go into depression/anxiety? Yes, for sure.

I feel for you so much OP, my childhood was same. Emotional abuse can cause depression, anxiety and attachment disorder. And yes some people can pick up that you are a bit vulnerable and see you as an easy target. Yes, I'd minimise contact and keep telling yourself she's a sad, toxic person who needs to make others miserable to feel better about her self(as did your emotionally abusive mother). I had counselling & did discuss with him the need to see & get closure with my DM, but he did warn me that confronting people like this usually doesn't go well, they deny, 'don't remember', play the victim, get abusive etc etc. Once I'd thought it thru' I knew that would make me livid & I just didn't want to give her the satisfaction. I wouldn't bother to record her, your DH knows she's toxic & isn't going to change. Counselling and NC are your best bet. Some people are just so toxic, that for your own sanity, all you can do is cut them off. Very best of luck.

She sounds jealous and insecure herself. Happy people don't go around poisioning others. Maybe she's been like it with dp s other previous partners? Maybe deep down she wants her son to herself and to be the most important person to him and so she's not got a good word to say about any woman? She could just be a spiteful jealous old bat. Avoid. Look after yourself first.