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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dogs trust make it very difficult to adopt a dog?

31 replies

Beautifulblue · 04/08/2018 22:30

We have made the decision after lots of discussions to get a dog. We understand the commitment & are very happy to take it on, we will be good pet owners. I'm also passionate about adopting a dog who needs a home where possible over buying a puppy. But after searching through our local dogs trust website I cannot see 1 dog out of 43 that could live with children. Though I understand a number of dogs can't & shouldn't live with children for a number of reasons I can't believe all 43 dogs are incapable! They often request the new owners live within an hour of the shelter & that they don't even have children visiting the house too. Are they not asking to much? I think it's such a shame, a dog would make a great companion growing up with my daughter & would be well cared for but instead they may sit for months even years in a kennel waiting for an adult only home! Has anyone managed to adopt through dogs trust with children? AIBU?!

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 04/08/2018 22:37

They will have dogs that can go to family homes but they do have to be cautious , some smaller rescues are more flexible , whereabouts in the country are you and perhaps someone could recommend some . What sort of dog are you looking at as greyhound rescues are generally happy to rehome with children .

bigbluebus · 04/08/2018 22:38

Someone I know adopted a dog through DT when they had 1 child and another one on the way. Quite frankly they shouldn't be allowed to have a dog. The poor thing is left in the garden and barks - it tried to dig it's way out under the fence. It barks at everything that goes past. They never seem to take it for a walk. They've had it a few years now and youngest is now at school so mother has returned to work - so dog is on it's own most of the day. Poor thing stood no chance when a new baby arrived on the scene so I personally am glad the DT don't want the dogs to go to homes with children.

Gogreen · 04/08/2018 22:39

Yep, this is why lots of people don’t even bother, you have to be a stay at home adult all day with no children Hmm

flowerythorns · 04/08/2018 22:42

You have my sympathies. We adopted a dog from a local rescue, that had actually come from abroad.

Try local Smile

flowerythorns · 04/08/2018 22:42

You have my sympathies. We adopted a dog from a local rescue, that had actually come from abroad. Confused

Maybe try breed specific rescue sites?

Original poster
Beautifulblue · 04/08/2018 22:43

@bigblues I do understand that, completely. I have a friend who has done similar to her 2 dogs who were 'her babies' before she had 3 children & now they're just locked in the garden constantly, makes me so mad. 😡 but we would never, ever do that. Maybe if I actually went down there & had a chat raising these issues they may reconsider with some dogs that may be well suited?
@floral. We weren't really set on any peticular breed, more just a dog that would fit in well with us & enjoy our lifestyle. We were hoping dogs trust could help us with that.. tbh I'm a sucker for animals so probably the one least likely to be adopted/been there the longest would come home with me if I had a choice!

OP posts:
CluedoAddict · 04/08/2018 22:43

Go and see them. They recommended a dog to us that was suitable with children. At the time we had a newborn and a toddler. Have had him 13 years now. They very often have dogs not on the website.

GreenMeerkat · 04/08/2018 22:44

@bigbluebus that's one case. Not everyone with children would treat a dog the same way. I certainly wouldn't!

MummySparkle · 04/08/2018 22:44

Dogs Trust are cautious about reigning dogs with children. Partly for the sake of the dog and partly for the safety of the children. There is no way to tell what the dog has experienced in the past and might react to. How old is your DD? There's a bid difference between putting a dog with toddlers to with a sensible 8 or 9 year old.

You can put yourself on the waiting list for a dogs trust puppy. Our local DT had a pregnant dog arrive and her littler were up for rehoming to any family. Our DDog was the runt of the litter and we've had him from 7weeks (mum was a very traumatised dog and ate his brother...) He is the most wonderful dog imaginable and is so patient and loving with our DCs. DS was 6months when we got him and they have been thick as thieves ever since!!

Original poster
Beautifulblue · 04/08/2018 22:44

Yep, this is why lots of people don’t even bother, you have to be a stay at home adult all day with no children

I agree this is the impression I got from the website

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 04/08/2018 22:46

Have a look at local greyhound rescues , they are bound to have someone for you to love .

DCam06 · 04/08/2018 22:48

If you aren't fussed about breeds or age I would contact a couple rescues and explain your family circumstances and ask them to contact you if they have any suitable family friendly dogs. I did that with my cat and cats protection got in touch a few days later with 3 options of cats that suit me. I choose the one with the horrific abuse story, wired jaw and dodgy eye... best decision I ever made x

bridgetreilly · 04/08/2018 22:49

Definitely go and see them, rather than just look at the website. That way (a) they get to meet you and get a sense of what sort of dogs might suit you, even ones listed as not suitable for children and (b) they know to contact you when a suitable dog comes in. A lot of their dogs never make it to the website because they get matched with existing contacts. Whereas quite a lot of the ones on the website are long-term residents at the centres precisely because they have very specific needs and are difficult to place.

Original poster
Beautifulblue · 04/08/2018 22:49

Ahh greyhounds are absolutely lovely dogs, I will look into it thanks!

OP posts:
flowerythorns · 04/08/2018 22:51

You'll probably have great success rehoming a greyhound. Good luck Smile

NewYearNewMe18 · 04/08/2018 22:54

You'd have more change adopting a baby abroad than getting a dog or cat from some rehoming charities.

I couldn't have a dog because I live within the M25, apparently there are no green spaces Hmm. I live near lots of parks and woods and common ground.

I couldn't have a cat because I'm at work all day - well Im at work for 8 hours a day and the cat I do have sleeps for 20 hours a day.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/08/2018 22:55

Our dog was from dogs trust approved for age 11 plus. Dd was almost 11 and it wasn’t an issue at all. Also found them very willing to accommodate us eg we did both visits in one day as we had travelled several hours to him and we did the dog adoption class at our local dogs trust. Speak to them and see.

MadisonAvenue · 04/08/2018 22:56

As MummySparkle said, some of the dogs which they have there have come from neglectful or abusive situations and they can't really test how they'll react to a young child.

We also had a puppy from DT, we didn't go on a waiting list, we were in the centre enquiring about various dogs and were asked if we'd be interested in seeing a litter of 6 week old puppies.

Both parents had been rescued from an abusive home and were in a dreadful state. It was 15 months of hard, gentle work before DT were even able to offer them for adoption and even then they needed to be rehomed together.

Also, we're over an hour away from their centre and they had no problem with that. They came out and did a home check a few days after we'd reserved our pup and we brought him home a week later at 8 weeks (although we drove over the weekend before that to have some cuddles with him).

NelleB · 04/08/2018 22:58

We have a dog from DT told a small fib that DP works from home everyday, he does sometimes. Our dogs are loved, walked and well taken care of. Better than staying there full time.

JJ2009 · 04/08/2018 23:02

Agree with the greyhound idea- we’re on our second adopted with children. They’re lovely dogs and all of they greyhound rescues we know will consider families with kids. Good luck.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 04/08/2018 23:07

Agree. DT turned us down as we both worked and were planning a family.

Got a puppy instead. Spent a fortune on dog walkers and I know work part time. Have three kids. Our dog is ten and has had a wonderful life with us. I guess they didn’t believe us when we said we would get a walker but v frustrating

MeltingPregnantLady · 04/08/2018 23:07

We had no issues taking on a DT dog. In fact we went to 2 different centres (We are an hour from 2) and found once they met us they lowered the age bracket for one dog we asked about. What they don't want is small children climbing over a vulnerable dog hence the age bracket is often 8 or 14 but if on meeting the children they see they understand the dog and it's issues and that you're a sensible family often they do away with it.

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 04/08/2018 23:08

I went with a breed specific rescue for mine - I was homechecked, and the homechecker was really pragmatic about the fact that I worked full time. I told her that some days the dog would need to come to work with me and sit in the van for part of the day.

She said according to the rules, the rescue wouldn't allow that - that if they had their way, dogs would only go to retired people or those with no jobs - but she could see that I was going to offer a great home and she was willing to not mention my working arrangements.

I got my dog, he's my baby. He does come to work with me, he's perfectly happy, I love him to bits.

MeltingPregnantLady · 04/08/2018 23:11

Wrt the working thing officially DT say dogs mustn't be left for more than 4 hours but again it's dog dependent. Our dog had come from a home where it was often left 8+ hours at a time often more like 10 and was impeccably behaved, they willingly shared this information with the caveat of "the dog can do it but it's not ideal"

Go to the centre and meet some of the dogs.

Stefoscope · 04/08/2018 23:19

It may be worth going down there in person. The info they had about my dog on their website was pretty inaccurate. They said he 'likes the company of female lurchers,' when in reality he's extremely reactive to any and all other dogs! Why on earth they wrote that in his description I don't know. Be prepared to have to visit several times if you see a dog you want to rehome. They made us do four visits and we had to take our lodger (who was rarely at the house anyway) along to one of the visits. I honestly wouldn't adopt another dog from Dogs Trust though. I was shocked the staff allowed my dog to jump up and hump them, at times they admitted he'd pinned them to the floor! It's taken a lot of work to train him out of it.

If you like the sound of a greyhound, you would probably be best looking at a breed specific rescue. I know Lurcher Link places their dogs in foster homes with experienced owners and a lot are cat and kid tested. It's probably easier to transition from a foster home environment rather than kennels to forever home as well.