to expect that my DP can get on with his work in clients house, without having to put up with their children

[lucyellensmum]

or more to the point, not having to worry about 1 year olds hurting themselves on his tools because their lazy arse middle class parents cannot get off their lazy arses and occupy them whilst they have the builders in!

Let him go and have someone else pick up the pieces, that you can vet in advance. I don't think the OP was talking about the odd question, but about lack of supervision and having the child be in an unsafe, dangerous situation.

If your DP works from home ocasionally, he might put up with the odd interruption from his laptop, canvas/question marking/whatever (bearing in mind they are his children too), but I doubt he'd expect them to be all over him if his livelihood was working from home. What would you expect then? Have the laptop on the top shelf of the bookcase so your kids can't reach it and have him sit down to stories with them instead?

No I know what the OP said thats why I specified my terms- that I meant the occasional question. I cant just clear out (similar situation to gess) so anyone who works here does have to understand that- I do try and explain it to peole before they come, and also warn them that they will be stared at by ds1 but he means nothing by it, and that we cant ahve doors left open even for a minute as ds3 bolts. Its not that I diont supervise them- I do- but we all get distracted and ahve to take the occasional loo trip etc.

If it were a one off job DH would probably take a day off so I could go somewhere (we need one adult per ds1 and ds3 to get out), but longer jobs have to be on our terms. Its not something we choose (and I do get the other perspective- Dad is a builder and DH qualified as a spray and going back to it sometime), but I just cant be flexible.

nightmare peachy..... We had some great garden fence repairers when ours blew down. Did stick to the timings and made it extra tall and sturdy.

Anyone is welcome to turn down a job in my house, no problem- its up to them, but if they accept one then they have to work around ds1 and that means no work going on when he's home. I can't physically restrain him from going near the tools, nor can I keep him off the roof if power tools have to be plugged in via an open door. This is always explained and it drives me insane when ignored- as it's muggins here who has to try and wrestle him to the ground/stop him beating his head on the wall and gets attacked and gets left with the scratches and bruises. Meanwhile 2 year old ds3 is left completely to his own devices (or has to be looked after by 5 year old ds2) which is not remotely appropriate.

I don't know how I could make it any clearer to people though as they so often ignore it. I know they have other jobs to get to, I know they want to finish mine asap, which is why I tell them at the time of the quotation.

She's supposed to be getting a conservastory but we came back to 8 foot of brieze blocks mainly on our side, so it'll have to go through alndlords and possible be torn down again, which is why it'll take so long- she's been challenging the 200 year old boundaries since she moved in a year or so ago and ust waited until we were away.

As a rule there's very little we don't do ourseves, even the landlord gets let off as we prefer to paint etc to our schedules.

I'd like to do more ourseleves but its impossible- both work evenings, and you really can't do anything with ds1 around, so it means someone would have to to take him out and the other one would have to paint + look atfer the other 2.

I think thats a benefit of being a student LOL! And of Dh working nights- at least he's home in the day to do a lot. A lot, though, just doesn't get done.

I think thats the difference though isn't it Gess and Peachy. Its completely responsible to be very clear about your situation so that anybody working in your house can make plans/agree that they can't cope with the job. In the same way somebody going to do repair work in a school during term time or a hospital knows that they can work within a certain environment or they don't take the job. Most people working in the building industry have to be flexible and adapt to different circumstances.

I hope I haven't put that badly and implied that I think either of you live in a school or hospital because of SN issues. [clumsy wording emoticon]

(Did I neglect to say how much i love madamplatypuis??.... )

PMSl

not offended in the least

Er hem, I class myself in the middle but I am definately not a lazy arse. Quite the opposite actually, very protective and particular about my ds.

I have to agree that anyone from any background should keep their children out of harms way.

As the tradesperson, I would of thought it quite in order to suggest to this women that the kids need taking out of his way to enable him to do a prompt and thorough job.

If she doesnt shift them then she cant complain if things arent up to scratch.

sofiaames, you are soooooooooo manipulative!!! i like you

tenalady, you are right, DP should say something to the woman. The child is less than two fgs! He is just too bloody nice for his own good. DP, as i have said is often plagued by children on jobs, it comes with the territory and whilst the constant questions can be a pain DP usually welcomes a break and is happy to indulge, to a point and MOST parents regardless of class (how i wish i never mentioned class!) are sensible and allow my DP space to work. I have children too and i know its difficult to keep them out of the way ALL the time, especially if there are major works going on (nightmare!), actually, we are planning some major work (going to follow some of sofias cajoling advice methinks) and im dreading keeping DD out of daddies way as she is his number one fan, but its better than her drilling through her eye or breathing in mdf dust.

madameplatypus, in our experience, schools do not tend to have works done whilst the children are around,unless the area can be completely cordened off, it would contravine health and safety. My DP is a tradesman (a prefer craftsman TBH, but then he is THAT good) not a childminder and i don't think "coping" with clients children is in the job description.

oh i wish I'd married a builder now. Or even someone who knew 1 end of a screwdriver from the other would be handy!

Mrs weasel, don't even think about it, they might know the arse end of a screw driver from the head but don't expect it to get used in your own house!

... or like my DH who thought he'd check our fireplace on an at-a-loose-end weekend and he condemned it because it's not been installed properly. We'd been using it quite happily for many years, long before he got his CORGI card and for a while after. (BTW he hasn't put it right yet either.)

God no. My Dad was a gas fitter and it always took forever to get anything mended in our house.

But surely if they don't want to cope with a clients child and it is explained beforehand, then they can say that and go away?

Its fairer for peole like gess and I to give them a choice, surely?

It's a choice we don't have. I cant speak for gess, but I don't have anywhere else to take my kids, no family nearby and there's no such thing as childcare 9beyong an excellent CM who can only do mornings) that can take them. I am unable to take them out withouyt an extra adult so whilst i do my utmost best to supervise every second, if someone is in my house for a prolonged periosd (eg the other neighbour whose work lasted 9 months), then the kids are part of the package- not expected to supervise or anything of course, but they will encounter tham from time to time and will need to be aware they ahve no sense of danger / stare a lot / etc etc. If theyc ant cope I'd rather be told so i can find someone else.
Especially having 2 asd kids (one of whom reacts badly to people in the house anyhow), I cant chase two in opposite directijns or restrain one whilst the other climbs a wall without cutting myself in half.

"schools do not tend to have works done whilst the children are around,unless the area can be completely cordened off, it would contravine health and safety" - exactly - the situation is discussed and plans made accordingly.

I get what you're saying Peachy and I understand how it's difficult for you. I was merely replying to the OP who described a different situation to yours.

FWIW I know my DH's insurance is for 1 million pounds worth of damage to other work/materials/structures (I can't remember how it's worded). He doesn't have insurance for other people's children. I guess he'd be one of those to walk away. Not because he's not kind hearted or professional enough, but he has his own children to think of first and some jobs may be just too much hassle. Sorry if this sounds harsh. I haven't even asked him how he'd react, just a guess.

Its not harsh at all, as Is aiod we'd never expect any babysitting or anything like that- it would be more of a 'hree's a list pf rpecautions youd have to take' no leaving doros or windows open even for a second, preferably work in school hours, expect to be started at 9althiough I'd be rpesent, ds's stare at peopl). Am familiar with insurances and wouldnt create a breach- but some people for example wont work whilst being watched,, even by a 7 year old with ASD who cant help it.

As it happens I dont think anybody with a disabled child would leabe them in the hands of anybody they didnt know even mroe so than NT kids, you just cant.

As for the OP, what with the cat litter and all I do think the householder is completely in the wrong! You employ a builder to build not childmind- and anyway they dont tend to come with CRB checks do they? Your dh, or anybody here wouldn't be expected to do more than maybe answer a (supervised wuestion of few) and take extra precautions around doors being kept secured etc. Oh and we would expect them to not get stressed by the noises ds's make / sounds of meltdowns etc in the next room.

So nothing at all detrimental to insurqances coz thats not fair adn can affect a livelihood. Just- adjustments / tolerances I guess.

i was not being literal when i stated that my dp is not a childminder, and yes, if builders want to work in schools when there are children around then they are most certainly crb checked. peachy, if you were to present my hubby with a list of precautions my dp must take when working in your house, he would definately walk away from your job as he would consider this patronising in the extreme.

Hmm sounds like my website needs a list of ASD friendly workmen....... now there's an idea.

Leaving the front door open is another major problem for us. No matter how many times I say it can't be left open (why one earth would we have 3 locks on it if it could be left open??). And loading the blasted van up when ds1 is at home. Aagghh. It sends him crazy and he's headbanging the windows (van doors are not allowed to be open, van doors are shut, nor are people allowed to sit in their cars/vans and make phone calls). Of course open front doors and van doors would not be a problem if they'd cleared off when I asked them to at the time of the quote.

ON the other hand peachy do what I'm doing and employ someone with a severely autistic son themselves!

oh bugger bugger bugger bugger, i think i may have put my fecking big feet in it again. Peachy i am really really sorry about my post saying the list was patronising, i have been at the wine cellar and missed the bit about ASD, i am truely sorry. Of course there are things that are really important that MUST be adhered to for your little boys safety and any tradesman worth his salt would respect that, i would like to think my DP would and be thankful for a list of dos and donts. Please accept my apologies for my trite and thoughtless comment. im very sorry. god, sometimes i wish i would think before i post.