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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect that my DP can get on with his work in clients house, without having to put up with their children

83 replies

lucyellensmum · 01/06/2007 15:03

or more to the point, not having to worry about 1 year olds hurting themselves on his tools because their lazy arse middle class parents cannot get off their lazy arses and occupy them whilst they have the builders in!

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyellensmum · 01/06/2007 15:50

i dont like myself very much just now, that was a pretty bitch thread, so feel free to hurl soggy tomatos

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 01/06/2007 15:54

Aww lucyellensmum - no your reprieve was because you had moderated what you had said, and because if you know the mother personally then perhaps you are in a fair position to judge that she is lazy

handlemecarefully · 01/06/2007 15:56

Any way 'reprieve' was tongue in cheek - you don't need approval or 'permission' from anyone on MN!

OrmIrian · 01/06/2007 16:01

Ha! lucy! "too bloody right im jealous, these people have my DP in their house to make it all lovely, and my house is a shambles, never marry a builder"

That says it all..... I so agree! We had a kitchen that was put in 2 years ago and the tiling still isn't finished. Mind you my dad was an electrical engineer and we had the only house I knew where the sockets hung off the walls.

flightattendant · 01/06/2007 18:36

My Ds is the same...won't leave anyone alone and refuses to be kept away, so I have to just stand there pulling him back and constantly saying 'no'. Workmen are usually great about it but you can see they get fed up sometimes and I always feel terrible that I can't do more to 'protect' them from Ds!!

But yeah, you try your best and just leaving them to get on with it is silly as the man would never get any work done.

lisasophie · 03/06/2007 21:39

YANBU. She should be keeping him away from your OH when he is working. Does she want her LO to have a lovely drill hole in his head from playing with tools. Tell her to get a stair gate to stop him going in the room.

MrsSpoon · 03/06/2007 21:46

As someone who has been through two house rennovations with small children I always tried my best to keep out of the way when there were jobs going on, I spend countless hours wandering aimlessly round shops, sitting frozen in parks and bored ridged for hours at a time in coffee shops. There were of course the more interesting days when I threw myself at the mercy of friends and family. However I can understand that some people would prefer to be at home whilst work was taking place but feel that an effort should be made to keep children out of the way.

kimi · 03/06/2007 21:54

DH1 was working at a house the other week painting and the bloody kid went and covered himself in the paint as well as rubbing up against the wall DH1 had just painted, kids mother was not impressed, but DH1 told her if she was not going to take the kid out of the house [nice day park over the road] at least keep the bloody child out of his way.

He has also worked at a house where the kid kept taking the tools and hiding them every time DH1 turned round.
I keep my children out of the way of workmen and I always give them tea and bickys.
We had an extension built that took 7 months so that was a bit of an effort.

wrinklytum · 03/06/2007 21:57

DP frequently doe guvvy jobs for people and says it is quite entertaining with kids around,especially as they think he is Bob,and he has to pretend that Wendy has nipped out and that Scoop is outside

Can be a bit difficult to keep ALL tools out the way as he has many different saws/drills and whatnot.Obviously when not in use they are unplugged.

Would not leave my small ones near them.

He works for lots of people middle class and working class.Said that there was a great diversity of parent supervision regardless of class.

Tis a joiners lot.....

NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 22:03

Oh god, both my DSes are (and have always been) mad for builders. We had big building works going on next door for ages, and DS2 learned the head builders name before he learned DS1's name .

To be fair, though, the head builder was really good with him (he used to be a primary school teacher, apparently), but I did limit DS2's time with him, so he could actually get stuff done.

MadamePlatypus · 03/06/2007 22:05

Our house is too small to consider staying around when work is being done. We had a really annoying plumber who arrived early (8 rather than 8.30), started unpacking his tools in the bathroom and then told me patronisingly to keep the baby away when I was trying to get everything together to leave. I legged it, but forgot to open the babygate to the kitchen. He couldn't work out how to open it and was very cross.

However, we had a lovely tiler who left the bathroom immaculate every night and thanked me for keeping out of his way when he was working.

Anyway, re: the OP, I am incredulous at the idea of being in a big enough house to be able to consider doing that. Wow.

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 03/06/2007 22:56

madame, the plumber sounds like an arse"!

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyellensmum · 03/06/2007 23:01

i like that my dp is working in this house, i think now he appreciates that im quite a good mummy to our little girl. He honestly isnt judging but he comes home incredulous at how little time this woman spends actually interacting with her child, so i dont mean to be judgemental, its just making me feel better about being me just now (and believe me i need to

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 03/06/2007 23:05

Lucy,am sure you are a fab Mum.We all have bad days.Please do not be

Someone criticised me for using the above phrase the other day but I stick by my guns!!!

PS what does your dp do?Mine is a joiner and am still waiting for him to fit the skirting board for ooooh the last six years he he

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 03/06/2007 23:16

wrinkly, thanks, im feeling a bit shit about life just now so any words of support truly appreciated. DP is a carpenter, so much the same. We have lived here ten years and still it looks like what i used to describe as a haunted house it is so delapidated!

OP posts:
agnesnitt · 03/06/2007 23:33

My daughter is very intrigued by builders/glazers/plumbers and anyone else who can feasibly have power tools in their workbag. I have clear rules. She can watch, she is told to be quiet, and I impose a boundary beyond which she cannot pass. She's often content to just sit and watch with the odd observations/.question. I think she still wants to be a plumber at some point though, as our plumber is female and the spawn thought that was the best thing ever. I always apologise for her inquisitiveness, and have never had a rude response, with most of the people we've had through the house thinking it's good that there are still some kids out there interested in making mess

Agnes

SofiaAmes · 04/06/2007 06:27

lucyellensmum....gotta use your wares to bribe the dh into doing the work that you want. My dh is (well actually was, he's now a full time student) a builder. I have all sorts of lovely things bult by him all over the house. I suppose it helps that I am an architect, so can usually see through the first 3 excuses and then witholding of sex and food coupled with much nagging eliminate the rest. Real trick is to find friends with dh's who are also in the building trade, but different skills than your dh and get into trading scheme involving husband's skills without husband's say-so.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 04/06/2007 09:39

Not unreasonable at all. I think my DH expects to have the tools within his reach and at a distance convenient & safe to him, not to be childminding for someone else. He is also surprised at how little supervision some children get. He sometimes quotes for the job, in which case he wants to finish quickly. Sometimes he quotes by the hour but he's got other jobs waiting for him, so still doesn't want to be wasting time looking after toddlers.

gess · 04/06/2007 09:46

I wish that workmen would understand that when I say "you cannot do any work whilst ds1 is here" that they would understand that I mean just that. Someone turned up announced to change an upstairs window on Friday - half term- ds1 was around- FGS (I sent him home again).

I've given up and this time (to decorate the front room) have employed someone who has a severely autistic son himself so understands that when I say that I really mean it (and anyway he has to go home to meet his son from the school bus the same time as I have to get mine from the school bus).

CristinaTheAstonishing · 04/06/2007 09:50

Gess - turning up unexpected is a stupid thing to do. But I don't think saying "you can't work while the children are here" and NOT taking the children away is the worker's problem.

middleclassedandlazy · 04/06/2007 10:01

what are you like?

gess · 04/06/2007 10:02

well it is because I have a severely autistic child and I cannot take all 3 children out- it's absolutely impossible (and there is no out of school care for ds1) so I tell them very clearly when they come to give me a quote that they can only work on school days between 9 and 3.30. Unfortunately ime many think that's it's OK to run over or come in school holidays- when it's just not. I really do make it very clear. The window guy really should have realised as he came to measure during a school holiday (not my choice he's fixing a cock up by another company and they sent him) and the difficulty we had getting it safe for him to open the window and measure should have made it obvious that fitting a window with ds1 around just was not going to happen.

I do explain the situation very very clearly, but they often try to ignore it and then wonder why I have ds1 screaming and headbanging to get out on the roof terrace, or him trying to shove them out of the door. It's a bloody nightmare. I have learned to tell them at 3.20 that they need to stop within 10 minutes.

Much easier though to employ someone in the same situation so that is the new tack.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 04/06/2007 11:42

I see what you're saying. DH prefers working 9-5, in fact he charges more for working out of these hours as they are his family time.

Peachy · 04/06/2007 11:45

It is up to the parents to keep their kids safe and away BUT as long as the workman is in my house he's in my employ surely? So shouldn't mind the occasional distraction / kid asking questions. If he cant handle that, I'd have to let him go.

Peachy · 04/06/2007 11:48

Gess I getcha. Woman next doro was specifically asked not to have the builders in over half term- so what did she do? Ther's now glass over the garden, no fences, abandoned building equipment and will be until autumn which absically leaves us gardenless. I use the garden as a time out zone for ds1 (its usually 6 foot high fences) and now we dont ahve that.