AIBU to think my partners ex should back off?

[nurserynurse2016]

Long story short, my partner has children with his ex. I've been there for the majority off the youngest ones life and just recently she's been diagnosed with cancer.

Since then, the ex has been on the go constantly, she sits in the house all the time, speaking to my partners mother, asks them for things/support/advice before she asks her own family.

She's always had an on/off relationship with me, liking me one day and hating me the next and just after the child was diagnosed she sent me really nasty messages that there were absolutely no need for. I spend a lot of time with these children as I often have them if their dad is away.

She was never as close to some members and now she's texting them asking for nights out and wanting to meet up and I feel as though she's just rubbing it in my face. She also has a really bad habit of trying to tell me what my other half is doing to my face, as if I'm not meant to know.

She texts my partner constantly, through the night and Half the time it's not even about the kids. She has a partner too so there shouldn't be any need for it.

I know I may sound selfish but this woman has made my life a living hell since I got with her ex and now it just feels as though she's digging her claws in!!

Help advice please? X

Sounds like she's having trouble coping with life in light of her daughter's illness. Maybe try retracting your own claws and cut her some slack.

If you don't like what she texts you then block her.

Jesus her child has cancer, have a heart. Surely every other petty issue pales into insignificance.

anyone else read that as the ex had cancer?i did
its because of the comments i understood that the child had cancer

Wow. A seriously ill child - that you supposedly care about - and you managed to make it all about you. Quite a feat!

So your partner’s youngest dc has cancer? How old are they? How is your partner dealing with it?

@tor8181 the OP made it clear later in her original post that it was a child not the ex.

No matter how awful the ex has been to you previously this situation means that everything has changed. If you try to voice your accusations this will not end well for you as you will look like a nasty heartless cow to everybody. The ex gets a free pass for being emotionally needy because she has good fucking reason to be at this very difficult time.

She is absolutely entitled to seek support from your partners family as this is her daughters family. It doesn't matter that you think she is asking them more than her own family nobody should be keeping score as there is no right and wrong way to ask for emotional help and support in this situation.

Their child has cancer, you need to actually try to understand the utter terror, devastation and fear that that your partner and his ex will be feeling.

To actually think that the ex has the head space or the ability to exploit her child's cancer diagnosis just to "rub your nose in it" shows a great lack of empathy on your behalf.

The fact that you have been there for the majority off the youngest ones life and you spend a lot of time with these children should mean that at this time your priority should be spent supporting your partner, his daughter and her siblings.

narcissistic behaviour at its finest...poor little girl caught in the middle whilst shes so poorly.

You sound unbelievably self centred and not overly bothered about the poor child

I think you should leave this guy and find someone who doesn't have kids. The lifestyle of being involved with someone who does is clearly not meant for you.

I couldn't do it either to be fair. I wouldnt want an ex hanging around all the time. But she will because she is the MOTHER of his children. And one of THEIR children has CANCER. Of course she's going to be contacting him, she always will, she will always be there. And especially when their child is sick.

Grow up and put up with it or exit. I think you should exit as its clearly not right for you and it won't ever be as she will always act that way.

Both mother and father sometimes leave the child just with you, that's a bit weird

No, not really. OP is part of the family so not weird at all. What is weird is the attitude towards this situation... The child has CANCER.. nobody will be behaving like they "normally" would..OP have some compassion!