For those who run their own businesses or OHs run theirs, what is your work/life balance like?

[BigSandyBalls2015]

DH has his own small company, employs one other person - without going into detail he's a tradesman. At the moment he is working 6 days a week out the house and then some evenings, a bit of Sunday doing paperwork etc.

His work/life balance is shit, I'm concerned about his health (he's in his 50s and it's very physical work) and yet again I'm about to meet with friends on my own as he's still not back from work. He'll catch up later, be knackered and prob fall asleep.

He earns fairly well but I'd rather have less money and see him more.

Interested in how others manage their own businesses/lifestyle.

I'm a self employed professional and many of my clients are similar to your DH. In fact, I'm the same as I tend to run payrolls etc on Sundays. However, my clients with younger families tend to finish around 3 or 4 in the afternoon which means they are around a lot more in the evenings and the more mature clients tend to replace their weekend during the week every so often.

It's partly down to the fear of turning work down and then not having more to replace it. Does he have a lot of on call/ out of hours emergencies to deal with as well?

It sounds like he has fallen into the trap of the "busy fool"
(not a personal comment, its part of business analysis)

Get him to increase the amount he charges per hour by 15%
he will lose around 10% of his work
but have more time for the same money

My husband is self employed and is also a tradesman, he also works 6 days a week and late evenings .We have two kids and mostly I feel as if I am a single parent.Although they are getting slightly older it's still extremely hard work and lonely all by myself,(I also work 30 hours a week)With the amount of hours he works,we still struggle sometimes with money and that really frustrates me 😣I would support him 100% to look for a more work/life balance job but he would never do another job as he actually really enjoys what he does.He is also not getting any younger and that worries me how long we can go on .I often tell my daughter don't marry any one self employed 😓

*It sounds like he has fallen into the trap of the "busy fool"
(not a personal comment, its part of business analysis)

Get him to increase the amount he charges per hour by 15%
he will lose around 10% of his work
but have more time for the same money*

I’m afraid, you’ve just described me. 😳 My business is too ‘successful’, because I keep putting off raising my prices. As a result I have so many customers I’ve ended up working seven days a week, for 18 months, without a single day off. Tired doesn’t cover it. I’ve recently hired staff and some days she makes more than me!

I was talking to someone, yesterday, about it and who told me he ended up making MORE money, when he paid off his staff and worked four days a week. Need to put on my big girl pants and put up those prices.

I'm on the other side of this. Tradesperson.

Being self employed lets me stay at home with DC's during the week. I've been out working today while DH looks after the babies. Means we sacrifice a couple of full weekends a month and what I do is very small potatoes, but it gives me enough to be able to keep us all in nice food and new clothes and be able to run the car and the kids. I used to be out more often but managed to match my full time employed wage in about 20hours a week. I can't see myself returning to an employed position. Hated it. Been so much happier with a better work life balance since becoming self employed. I would struggle to match DH's wage if he became unemployed though, so I guess he facilitates me to do it. Works for us...

Put his hourly rate up.
Seriously.
Charge more per hour until the number of hours drops but the net income does not.

Both DH and I are self employed.
Keeping our day rates high has meant holding our nerve at times but is UTTERLY worth it.
I tell my tax clients to do the same and its working for them too.

Surf over the top of the "race to the bottom"
then you'll get a better quality of life.

Same story here. Dh not a tradesman but similar/related industry. He works very long antisocial hours, then has maintenance to do (usually at the weekends/evenings) plus paperwork. I get very frustrated that he doesn't spend much time with our young children or myself and I do feel like I'm bringing them up alone as well as feeling lonely at times. We also very rarely go on holiday (on average once every 4 years) because he can't bear turning down work especially when the industry is so up and down.

On the other hand, he earns pretty good money and, touch wood, we don't struggle financially, although that could change at any moment given the industry he's in. He also earns enough for me to be a sahp which is something we both wanted whilst the children are young. So even though I am frustrated at the lack of work/life balance, particularly related to our children, his job also means that we do have a number of benefits to our situation.

We've had our own business for 30 years and it's been stressful and challenging but ultimately rewarding. In the early days it was quiet while we built our reputation and client base and DH would panic that the phone was never going to ring again (I was working two jobs then to keep a regular paycheck coming in), then we got really busy which meant DH was working long hours (never weekends though). After the children came along (no paternity leave, DH just had the day off with both births, and returned to work the next day), I took a back seat and had to accept DH needed to be out working. I think the balance was pretty good - he's never worked very late evenings and rarely weekends. We moved some distance from the business 16 years ago, so I took a job closer to home but I'm still a co-director. We're in our mid/late 50's now, the kids have flown the nest so no more school fees, we paid the mortgage off in January and DH has happily eased his foot off the pedal. He usually works 4 days a week now and we always have a few trips booked or planned. It does feel a little like we've ridden the rapids (financially particularly - our home was nearly repossessed 10 years ago, which was an awful time), and have finally reached the calm waters of a tranquil lake. We're both a bit battle scarred but still smiling and still together. My DH moans about work but he wouldn't do anything else, certainly wouldn't want to be answerable to anyone else, and he fully admits he'd be unemployable!

My DH moans about work but he wouldn't do anything else, certainly wouldn't want to be answerable to anyone else, and he fully admits he'd be unemployable!
Both of us feel that way

Dp has a tech based business. His work/life balance is generally really good, he works 4 days a week and has a day a week with the dc. He is generally able to take time off when the kids are sick and to attend things at school, and to be a school governor. There are occasional meeting which he must attend or it would be really bad, but not that often.

But he set up the business with the intention of him not having to be there all the time for things to keep running.

Im self employed I have an arts business. For around the 1st 10 years I worked very hard - it was my dream. I was frazzled, as had DCs too. I can't say why things changed but gradually, they did.

I'm 55 now. I give 2 full days to my self-employment, and that's it. I also now have a very low stress part-time job, 2 days per week, and I've the option to do more hours if I so choose - which I do, if I've a holiday or big household purchase to pay for. At which stage it's 1 day weekly self-employment.

I'm glad I put in the heavy work for self-employment previously. But I knew when to stop and have a breather at times. You blink, and years have flown by, DCs grown. It's not an achievement to me to have a great successful business yet I can't even have a relaxing weekend. Can't spend time with family.

I'd have more money if I applied myself and worked harder. I won't, though. Things aren't more important than people, and having a business can't be my only dream. It was at one time. Then suddenly - it wasn't.

I agree with pp's about raising hourly rate. I never charged 'cheap' just to get work. I couldn't afford to anyway.

What you could do in your 30s you physically cannot do in your 50s. The thought of working all the hours God sends and being flat out knackered at this age makes me shudder.

Work to live, don't live to work. It's a road to regret.

I’m self employed with young children. I make a policy to not work more than 40 hours a week. I average 30 so sometimes it’s as low as 25.
I just don’t see it as an option to miss out on family life for work.

Both of us self employed. I am the high earner and work 4-5 days, sometimes away. DH works 2.5. We have a 3 year old at nursery and a project house with a huge garden. It works well. I sometimes wish that all the financial pressure wasn’t on me but we couldn’t live here and spend as much time as we do with DS if he worked more. Perhaps you need to take on some more financial responsibility yourself.

Husband is self employed, runs his own business with 7 employees. Work life balance is pretty good, spends a decent amount of time with DC's and I, but the business is pretty well established, 8 years old. In the early years it was work work work, it's just the way things are when you run a business, short term pain for long term gain.

My dh is self employed. I have been in the past, but though I now technically am employed, the nature of my profession is that it’s much like self employment anyway.

In the first year, it took a lot of negotiation. Well, it took a lot of me shouting about work/life balance. I’ve always had a career with no set hours where it’s entirely possible to work 80 hours a week if you want. I choose not to, so I’ve been a bit more used to it. It was all very new to my dh who had always worked under someone else.

After the first year though, it was much better and I think we have excellent work/life balance and good quality of life. Most days he leaves for work when I leave to do the school run (I’m on mat leave, if I wasn’t he often did the mornings anyway). He’s home most days by 5/5:30. He does housework or takes the dc out to play while I cook dinner. We do bath and bedtime. Then M-Thu he does admin work in the evenings sitting on the sofa with me. Other evenings are time for us as a couple. He works about 10 weekends a year (trading at events so we do it together with the dc, so though it’s work we’re still together as a family). We both work the ocassional hour or two on a weekend morning but we get up early to do it so it doesn’t affect anything we want to do that day.

Honestly, self employment has afforded us much more flexibility and time together as a family. But we went into it with the attitude that there was no point to taking the risk of not having a guaranteed salary if it meant sacrificing family life. The whole point was so we had flexibility and he wasn’t stuck doing long hours in an office somewhere away from home. It was a bit of a bumpy start getting the hang of it and working out those boundaries but it was worth working on it til we got it right.

It appears to me on mn that self employed women are flexible around family commitments and this is one of their key reasons for being self employed.
whereas many self employed men seem to use “running their own business” as a reason to not pull their weight in family life 😢

If there is a salary coming into the house big enough to pay the bills
the other person is not self employed
they have a hobby

DH and I have walked the tightrope for 20 years
hence why we fiercely value our time

It appears to me on mn that self employed women are flexible around family commitments and this is one of their key reasons for being self employed.
Whereas many self employed men seem to use “running their own business” as a reason to not pull their weight in family life

Read back thru thread on seeing that comment museumum. Yep, it's true. Add to that opting out of family life too. They are facilitated so theyre able to do that.

I'd have got loads more done if Id had a partner keeping DCs & family life nicely ticking over so I could bury myself in work for hours/days/weeks/years on end. It's still a 'No thank you' to that workaholic lifestyle tho. People before 'things', for me, especially when aged 50+

The salary may comfortably cover the bills Ta1kinpeace, but as you know in our profession the self employed income can easily equal or exceed it. Do you ever refer to your accountancy practice as a hobby? If so, I dread to think what you do for fun!

My balance can be a bit hit and miss. I'm a retailer and sometimes I have loads of free time and then other times (Sept to Jan usually) I work long days and seven days a week. I am always available for assemblies and sports days and appointments and a poorly child anything else that crops up though. I keep odd working hours because mid week I take ds to activities. If I was an employee I wouldn't be around to do that. I also have the benefit of earning a good wage. I take the work as and when it comes and accept that there are quiet times and busy times. Dp understands that too, and helps out when I'm busy and on my knees with tiredness!

Have any if you thought about hiring a VA to help gain that important work life balance? Check out @EFoxVA on Facebook.

VAS are amazing at helping you out where you need it most.

Me and DH have a Consultancy, him IT and me Business .
I work a couple of days a week and take school holidays etc off while he works 1 day a week from home and normal business hours the other 4. We don’t work evenings or weekends, or if we do it’s chargeable extra.
The Accountant does most of the business related stuff and I do a bit as well

I joined just to reply to this. Hi!

I run a business and employ my husband. It is a really successful business and involves being an ~influencer~ eye roll so I am ALWAYS working.

We work every day but hardly a full day. Sometimes work can just be checking emails and social media, other times it’s negocoating, invoicing, filming, etc.

I found that having a ‘no work at night’ rule helped. But I know I definitely need to chill out more.

stickerrocks
Both DH and I are self employed in our own fields
We bring very similar amounts into the household.
So neither of our businesses is a hobby
as every penny coming into the house depends on the two of us seeking out contracts.

If there is a salary coming into the house big enough to pay the bills
the other person is not self employed they have a hobby

This is not in any way true for us. We’ve kept our mortgage etc at a level EITHER of us could pay alone. My self employed career is insurance against dh being made redundant as well as paying for all our leisure, luxuries and holidays. DHs salary is insurance against my work drying up.
Just because he is PAYE and I’m a sole trader it is insulting to refer to my career as a hobby.