Dealing with stress

[ShedsofGrey]

My Dil is a highly stressed person. Any of life’s little (and major) challenges drives her anxiety sky high. This is having a huge impact on my DS too, and quite frankly everyone on both sides of her family.
She is pregnant with their first baby. Her blood pressure is sky high, and so is everyone else’s.
I have suggested yoga and meditation. I have also advised her gently that she needs to manage stress for both her and the baby’s sake.

DS told my DH that she kept him awake half the night talking and then arguing and eventually screeching. She had got so worked up and it was over buying a property. In other words something that couldn’t be dealt with at 3am.
DS is a big lad but I am so worried that Dil will cause herself and the baby serious health issues for nothing. She goes 0 to 100 over stuff that can’t be changed there and then. Demanding answers to things that need careful consideration. The current dilemma is do they buy a property now before she has the baby or wait until after the baby comes. This had to be resolved there and then. At 3 am.
What can I do to help? What can DS do?
Dil is the loveliest girl and I am so concerned for her health.

Er... AIBU to ask for advice......

Your DIL has probably always been like this, though, so your DS will be used to dealing with it. I would support your DS but not get involved tbh. She's not going to change.

Sounds like she is suffering form anxiety which is horrible and that maybe this has been exacerbated by the pregnancy. I think she needs to speak to her Gp - maybe Cognitive behavioural therapy or medication can help. Can she see herself that she has a problem?

Thanks for your replies.

Yes I do think she recognizes she has a problem but it’s after the fact, not in the moment.

I shall suggest that she mentions it to her GP or would her Midwife be helpful?

She's anxious, that's a medical condition and she needs to discuss it with a medical professional. The last thing she needs is little digs from you about her harming the health of the baby.

Leave well alone. It's none of your business.

I can see why you are concerned - it must be very difficult for her to be so anxious all of the time but equally, this impacts on other people.

Some ladies (not suggesting your dil will be one) can get post natal anxiety. I suffered with this myself even though I was not an anxious person before the birth of my baby. It went beyond the normal worries a new mum might have (e.g. I developed terrible anxiety that my son would die during the night - to the point where I would try to stay awake to make sure he was breathing or if I fell asleep, I would wake up in a panic and get up to check he was ok ).

I spoke to my midwife and health visitor and both were really helpful and supportive and I got to a stage where I was able to deal with things.

If you can, when she is calm, I would suggest to your dil that she talk to get midwife. Or get your son to suggest this.

Fuck off Bombardier. I don’t give her ‘little digs’. I love her and want her to enjoy a healthy pregnancy. I want to support her as best I can.
Thanks Pumpkin. I will suggest she needs to talk to her midwife. Would yoga or some gentle alternative therapies help?