Is this very weird?

[jueiw]

At the moment, DP and I are sleeping apart. I sleep in the double bed, whereas he sleeps on an airbed in the living room.

The reasoning is

1. the heat
2. He likes to sleep with the door window open
3. He has started to breathe really heavily and it keeps me up. Which wakes him up as I toss and turn
4. We have both become very territorial with our space, and I hate having anyone touching me when I'm trying to sleep

This situation has been occuring for a couple of months, and tbh I can already see we've lost a connection. But at the same time, sleeping together will just mean a bad night's sleep.

Does anyone else sleep apart, and do you worry about the effect on your relationship?

I've been in the spare bed for 2 months now. DH is a human hot water bottle and makes weird squeaking sounds as he grinds his teeth.

I know two couples who have separate bedrooms, both have healthy relationships and sex lives. It wouldn’t work for me but it can for others as long as you put in the effort to stay close and both parties are ok with it.

We sleep apart sometimes and it is bliss. I think it can save a relationship sometimes. If you can both get a good night's sleep you are going to be in a better mood which can only be good for relationship.

Frangipani just seeing your words 'mum's room' is making me want one of my own! I do miss having my very own room. Sadly we don't have the space but if we did I would be very tempted. I could summon DH to my chamber like Queen Elizabeth I and send him on his way when I had had my fill (as it were).

Love separate rooms. Shared beds are my idea of hell cats excepted

Hah, we've got two adjacent houses joined at the back, I sleep in one master bedroom and DP has the other. Do I win the thread?

DP falls asleep on the sofa most nights and I leave him there, as I prefer sleeping on my own.

If I get up for a wee or something and he wakes up, he will often come up to bed then. He's a nightmare to get up in the morning when he sleeps in bed, so in some ways he prefers the sofa on work nights.

He tends to come to bed at weekends though, which annoys me. If I get up for any reason, he spreads out and takes up all the bed, and I have to nudge him back on to his own side so I can get back in. And then he tries to cuddle me, he's hotter than the average hot water bottle and it makes me too hot. I edge away from him, but he pursues me across the mattress until I'm clinging to the edge.

I prefer sleeping with the dog, tbh. She's smaller, she stays on top of the covers, she only snuggles up if it's cold and she rarely farts. DP is a prolific farter, and they are both loud and smelly.

He doesn't snore though. That's my job.

We sometimes sleep apart. On weekends he likes to stay up super late (3 or 4 am) but I need a lot more sleep, especially as I'm pregnant, so he sleeps in another room so he doesn't wake me when he comes to bed.

Also with the heat lately I've sometimes slept in the cooler spare room while he's slept in our bed.

I can't say it makes any difference. When I'm asleep, I'm asleep!

It helps that our main bed is a super king too so we can each have lots of space. Being crammed up against someone or spooned all night is not my idea of a good night's sleep. I need space to sleep!

We've slept separately since DD was born (BF baby so it had to be me who did most of the night waking, and it was the last straw having to get back into bed after a feed next to DH snoring, knowing I was likely to have to be up again in two hours and wouldn't get to sleep for ages because of the snoring!). It works really well for us: I get up earlier in the morning without disturbing DH and it also means if I can't sleep I can read in bed. I also have a voluntary commitment involving night shifts roughly once a month, and it would really disturb DH having me leave at 1 am if we shared a bed.

I would nothing more than my own bedroom.i have no idea why married couples are expected to share a bed,we share kids ,a mortgage ,food money....why do I have to share my bed too..hate it.hate being draped over ,hate being grabbed ,hate the expectation of sex..want my own space

Love nothing more

We sometimes sleep apart. He’s ridiculously hot all of the bloody time, and the upstairs of our house is like an oven even with the windows open, it’s much cooler downstairs so he sleeps on he sofa if he’s feeling particularly warm. Though he still sleeps under the duvet which is just bizare when he’s sweating his tits off . He also gets up at 6 to go to the gym before work sometimes whereas me and DS don’t get up until 7/8ish so gives us a bit more sleep.

We are not able to share a bed most nights. WE do not actually live together but also we have different awake and working times. When we do have the chance to share a bed we do and are happy to be together for a change

I started this when kids were small...then when he got up for work super early .. or came home very late.. what ever reason really. I just got territorial with my space and didn't prioritise our relationship. It ended in divorce. I am very happily remarried but my first marriage would not of ended if we had stayed in our marital bed and I had made more effort with our relationship and not put children first at the expense of our marriage.

Those who say their sex life hasn't been affected - how does this work

@MrsSFirth

• Go to bed together at night, then go back to our own room
• DH comes and gets into bed with me in the morning
• When DS is at grandparents after school anywhere goes

Frangipani just seeing your words 'mum's room' is making me want one of my own!

@DuggeesWoggle it's truly brilliant, redecorated last year and DH got no say whatsoever in the design

I know a married couple who live in separate towns. Not far apart but they have a great relationship and it works for them.

I would love my own room but will make do with a super king for now!

I honestly think that having separate bedrooms is the reason DH & I have been happily married for nearly 30 years. I'm a night owl, he's a lark & we both snore. We have visiting rights of course