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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you would do here

23 replies

starlight33 · 04/08/2018 07:36

I booked this weekend off work to do something with oh and dc. I usually work weekends. Our plans were to go to a theme park leaving early this morning. My inlaws then asked my husband could he come down to help with painting on their house since I was off work as usually when I work weekends he has dc and they didn't want dc to be in the house when it's getting painted. He told them he'd help them on the Sunday as we had plans on the Saturday. He went out last night (not planned) and only got home two hours ago but had promised me he wouldn't be late 😫. I can't bring dc to the theme park on my own as I'm pregnant and won't be allowed go on much and neither will my youngest. DS won't go on his own so I feel it's a bit pointless. WIBU to tell DH we're going tomorrow now and let him help my in-laws today? I won't have another weekend off before the new school term. I don't think my inlaws are ready to go ahead with the painting today though as mil mentioned she was spending all day Saturday cleaning and decluttering.

OP posts:
Whynotnowbaby · 04/08/2018 07:40

Can’t you still go today? He knew the arrangement and chose to stay out late but surely that doesn’t mean the arrangement needs to change. Go and wake him up and remind him you are leaving at x time. Don’t mention last night, just assume you are going.

starlight33 · 04/08/2018 07:42

I wouldn't get in the car with him knowing he's only had two hours sleep plus I know how grumpy he is when he's hungover and I just feel the day will be ruined

OP posts:
Agastache · 04/08/2018 07:44

Does he regularly fuck up your plans?

RandomMess · 04/08/2018 07:45

Yes I would insist on going tomorrow and tell his parents why his plans have changed...

EllaNB · 04/08/2018 07:45

Can you not drive?

LoniceraJaponica · 04/08/2018 07:45

Is he the only driver?

starlight33 · 04/08/2018 07:48

I didn't mind him going out he got a bit of bad news about a friend during the week and I figured he needed a bit of time with his other friends to process stuff but he reassured me he wouldn't be late home. I feel bad towards my inlaws but this was planned 3 weeks ago and I was really looking forward to it.

OP posts:
HellenaHandbasket · 04/08/2018 07:50

Yup, their plans come second as yours were made first. But do tell them why.

Happygoldfinch · 04/08/2018 07:51

Do you get on well with your in-laws? Could you phone them, explain his error of judgement, and ask if it's ok for him to go and help them today instead of tomorrow? That way they get their help and you all still get your day together.

ThePants999 · 04/08/2018 07:52

Could you try to swap with a colleague so that you work this weekend after all, and take another one off?

PerverseConverse · 04/08/2018 07:52

I'd be fuming and would be waking him up. He's selfish and is prioritising himself and his parents over you and the children. You booked the weekend off to spend time with him and he's messed it up. Get him up, tell him the children are waiting to go, and that you're driving.

Oysterbabe · 04/08/2018 07:53

I'd make him go today and you drive.

starlight33 · 04/08/2018 07:53

I do drive but my car is currently sitting in a garage getting repaired and his car is a company car which I don't feel comfortable driving

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ItsJustASimpleLine · 04/08/2018 07:58

Yes go to the theme park tomorrow. I assume DH is not yet awake so contact MIL now and explain so she can start getting organised ready for when he wakes up and gets over there.

Your DH needed time with his friends but this is your only holiday time with your family so everything needs accommodating. A reshuffle is fair. But be prepared for ILs to take the hump a bit. Just explain everything and don't ask, tell them that the plan has changed and you're sorry for the short notice.

starlight33 · 04/08/2018 08:00

Personally I'd prefer to just go tomorrow as I know he'll be moany and tired all day and I'll end up getting into an argument with him. I just feel bad for my inlaws. Swapping a day with a colleague wouldn't really work as next weekend dc are going away with my parents so I won't see them from Friday to Sunday.

OP posts:
starlight33 · 04/08/2018 08:03

Thanks everyone was sitting here going what will I do but definitely decided I'll go tomorrow and let his parents deal with his hangover head today.Grin

OP posts:
rubyjude · 04/08/2018 08:19

Good for you. Just because he had bad news doesn't mean he gets to let his kids down.

IceCreamFace · 04/08/2018 08:21

Glad you're doing it that way, even if MiL is mi de-clutter he can still make a start on the painting and it would be a nightmare dragging him round a theme park.

81Byerley · 04/08/2018 08:23

If he won't have the children next weekend maybe he could help his parents then?

Butterymuffin · 04/08/2018 08:25

Make him ring and explain the change to them.

CocoaGin70 · 04/08/2018 08:31

Yep I'd let the inlaws have the pleasure of his hangover for company.

You're a lot more tolerant than I'd be under the circumstances too!

Crunchymum · 04/08/2018 08:34

Yep, he can help them both days next week if kids are elsewhere?

DontCallMeCharlotte · 04/08/2018 09:02

Could he take a day's leave during the week on one of your normal days off?

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