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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Adopt don't shop. (Dogs)

89 replies

SarahHans · 03/08/2018 20:24

We are told this constantly.

I have children. My youngest is 8.
I don't particularly want a puppy, been there, done that. It's not something I'm super very interested in.

I ideally want an older dog. Over 7. Chilled.

I've been to 3 different shelters and been told they ALL have age restrictions.

Today I went to a place I visited last week alone. When I went alone the staff were very attentive until I told them I had kids, they told me to bring my kids to meet the dogs as they won't rehome until they all meet, which I knew and was happy to do.

So today I did that. There were at least 25 dogs there, I enquired about one and was told 'over 14 kids only' then she walked away.

Eventually I went to the reception and asked could they please point out the dogs that would be able to be rehomed with an 8 year old.

They told me non. Not one out of a full shelter.

I'm actually considering buying a puppy now as everywhere I try say they don't have any suitable dogs.

Sorry. Just being a bit deflated :(

OP posts:
MrsST · 03/08/2018 23:08

I'm from your area OP, I've got a rescue dog from Bulgaria and I have very young children. Please please try Dogs 4 Rescue. They're amazing and will be happy to find you a loving rescue dog.

ProudThrilledHappy · 03/08/2018 23:12

Hi OP have you looked at Animals in Need?

They are looking for homes for lots of rescues, and it looks like Lola is suitable for a home with children:

www.animals-in-need.org/lola-6

Original poster
SarahHans · 04/08/2018 10:47

Thanks for all the suggestions. I will make enquiries.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 04/08/2018 10:58

It's so hard with rescues

Large ones are so strict with who they rehome to, then wonder why they are full?

I used to work for a rescue. They rehomed on a dog by dog basis. Some dogs could go to small children, some couldn't.

Some could go to full time working homes, some couldn't.

Thats how a rescue centre should work.

QuoadUltra · 04/08/2018 11:10

Greyhounds or lurchers - gorgeous.

We have had rescue lurchers with our young children. All been fine.

Onlyjoinedtopost · 04/08/2018 11:20

I absolutely hate that saying. We wanted a dog for ages. We live on a farm with loads of land, don't have any children yet and don't have any other pets. My work office is the building attached to our house on the farm, so I work next door. Have a secure garden and loads of time for a dog. We wanted to rescue, applied to 18 separate rescue centres and every single one turned us down without even letting us meet any of the dogs as partner and I both work. Wouldn't even take into account the fact that I can go home whenever I want.

In the end we did buy a puppy as it seemed like our only option, and it has been amazing for us personally. Had lots of snide comments and remarks about buying a puppy rather than rehoming a dog but how are you supposed to rehome if nowhere will let you!?

3luckystars · 04/08/2018 11:31

There is nothing wrong with buying a puppy! There are some very decent breeders who care about dogs out there. That’s just my opinion though so don’t give out to me. A rescue dog is not for everyone.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 04/08/2018 11:39

I want a dog at some point.. not right now, but when I have more time to give. I’d prefer a rescue dog...

I do know though that when I tried to regime a kitten they wouldn’t let me for a couple of reasons, the first being they only rehome in pairs, and the second because I had children under 5 🤷🏻‍♀️

You’d think due to all the kittens there are needing homes, they’d relax these rules a bit!

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 04/08/2018 11:40

rehome a kitten...

Confusedbeetle · 04/08/2018 12:03

Personally I would never rehome a dog from a rescue shelter if I had small children. The problem is that you have no idea how the dog has been brought up and many in rescues have had a bad time and may be psychologically fragile and therefore unpredictable with children they have not known since a puppy. I rrehomed from a known family due to a divorce and got a very nervous dog. I have a friend who helps with behaviour issues and he is of the opinion that rescue staff often don't know or don't disclose potential problems. They would be sued if a dog turned out to be unsafe. Children need a dog with a rock solid personality. I would choose a puppy from a breed known to be gentle with children, bring them up together with the children taught how to be respectful of the dog needs and space. Countless people will tell you of good stories with their rescue, but honestly? Is it worth even the smallest risk? Be very careful where you get a dog from Horror stories abound. Free to good home ads are especially risky. No good owner would do that. To be fair to a dog that has had a bad time, I wouldn't want them to have to deal with children who can be unpredictable too. Hardly the dog's fault when it bites out of fear

Runssometimes · 04/08/2018 12:16

Some of the smaller rescues will consider children. So start with breed specifics - eg Labrador or lurcher rescues both would be a good choice for a family.

adaline · 04/08/2018 12:23

We got a puppy about three months ago. We looked at all the local rescues and none of them accepted us as we both work full time, even though the dog would never be on its own as we'd already arranged walkers and daycare. And after months of being rejected we got a bit fed up and found a breeder instead.

It's really put me off going down the rescue route again.

Lucisky · 04/08/2018 12:40

OP, upthread you compared the cost of adopting to the cost of buying a puppy, indicating a puppy would be expensive. The purchase cost pales into insignificance with the year on year costs of keeping a dog.
I have had four rescue dogs over many years of ownership. The best one was acquired by word of mouth when his remaining elderly owner died. I agree that many rescues are far too strict with their criteria, which is fuelling the import of street dogs from abroad (in my opinion). There are genuine people seeking good homes (in online ads)for well behaved dogs, but you have got to be able to sort the wheat from the chaff.

AlpacaLypse · 04/08/2018 12:50

This is the foster based small rescue I work with.

The Facebook Page

We consider every applicant and every dog on their own merits.

Duskqueen · 04/08/2018 13:01

Not RTFT but have you contacted dogs trust. The assess each dog individually, email them and ask them if they have any dogs suitable to be re-homed with an 8 year old.

SwimmingKaren · 04/08/2018 13:11

Exactly the same thing happened to us after our dog died. Youngest child was 6 and none of the shelters we contacted would consider us. I know there need to be restrictions but this seemed ott especially as we have a lot to offer the right dog. We ended up taking on our dog from a friend who could no longer look after him in the end.

Purplejay · 04/08/2018 13:19

Another vote for smaller foster based rescues. We had our two from Yappy Ever After which is midlands based. They look at each dog/Family on an individual basis and have no blanket policies. They provide lifetime back up and have a mix of uk and non uk dogs for rehoming. We have an almost collie and a Romanian princess ❤️ My son was 8 when we got the first and 9 when we got the second. I know of adopters with younger children. They assess each dog in a foster home prior to rehoming.

sonjadog · 04/08/2018 13:28

I don´t live in the UK so things are a bit different, but what I have done, and recommended others to do successfully, is that if you know what breed(s) you would like, get in touch with reputable breeders and let them know you are interested in an older dog. A good breeder will follow up their puppies and often there will be a clause in the contract that they are to be informed when older dogs from their kennel need a new home. My current dog, adopted at 6 years old, is one such dog. He is a brilliant dog in all ways, and just needed a new place to live.

You might have to wait a while for an appropriate dog to turn up, but in my experience, it doesn't take that long (maybe 6 months or so).

CailinBainne · 04/08/2018 13:30

Check out Erin Sighthounds on Facebook too.... Greyhound/lurcher specific but have a few others. A lot of success stories and they take a lot of rescue lurchers from Ireland

Birdsgottafly · 04/08/2018 13:41

Pawprints to Freedom, save dogs from the shelters in Romania, as well as the street dogs.

They are Fostered before being put up for adoption. I don't know whether it's gratitude, or because they haven't come from a human abuse background, but they seem to make lovely pets.

They are all ages and sizes, including puppies.

There are some beautiful dogs that are on the kill list, at the moment.

They have a FB page and a seperate page for people who've adopted and who foster. So you can see how they settle in well, into Family life.

ladydickisathingapparently · 04/08/2018 15:38

Just to add another point of view to those who don’t wish to use rescues and see a puppy as a “blank slate”......my parents had mutts for years, always rescues and we never had a bad dog. Never any health or behaviour issues. On retiring they decided just once to buy a bearded collie. They did loads of research and used a recommended breeder.

She was a gorgeous dog but suffered terrible health problems for all of her 5 years until she was eventually put down due to her suffering. My dad’s heart was absolutely broken.

chocolatestrawberryvanilla · 04/08/2018 15:41

This happened to me - it seems rescue centres want retired people only.

Work during the day - no; children; no.

Personally I didn’t want a greyhound, lovely as theycan be I’m just not keen. I bought my dog in the end.

Greyhorses · 04/08/2018 15:46

I bought the best temperament puppy I could find since having DS. I viewed grandparents and parents in the hope of making sure my dog had the best chance of being a good family pet.

I’ve had many rescues and all of them have had some sort of issue, I’ve loved them all but would want to know a dog inside out now I have children. I don’t think rescues being strict is a bad thing personally, why take the risk if they aren’t 10000% sure the dog is good with children.

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 04/08/2018 15:52

We were in a similar position. Also refused due to baby. I absolutely agree why they do this, no issue there, but we are very 'doggy' people so members of local dog and walking groups online and you get constant passive aggressive posts aimed at those of us who bought a puppy rather than adopted. Does my head in. I donate to local animal rescues and love all dogs yet there seems to be this current belief amongst some that if you've paid for a puppy you're the kind that ignores it and has done it as a toy for your children. I have no issue with the shelters and their approach but I do with the general public who look down their noses at those of us with young families and a dog bought as a puppy.

adaline · 04/08/2018 16:17

Personally I didn’t want a greyhound, lovely as theycan be I’m just not keen. I bought my dog in the end.

So glad to hear someone else say this. Everyone on MN recommends whippets/lurchers/greyhounds but they're not for everyone and certainly aren't what I want in a dog. I swear on every single doghouse thread about getting a puppy, at least five people will pop up and say "Have you considered a whippet/lurcher /greyhound".

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