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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think buying toiletry gifts in the Boxing Day sales for next Christmas is tacky?

202 replies

crinkle8 · 03/08/2018 20:05

So today I was talking to a colleague about Christmas, and how quickly this year is going. She then said she's done all her xmas shopping Shock I said you must be very organised! She said she did it all in the Boxing Day sales.

She then said she broughttoiletry sets from Boots for all the women in her family when they were 90% off. Is it just me who thinks this is a little TOO cheap? I'm all for a bargain if it's something that can keep, but I'm not convinced toiletry products can lost that long. I've had toiletries I've left unopen for a year, and when I open them they've either lost their scent or really runny.

Also, anyone who shops at Boots will know the packaging is from last year, and know the person got it at 90% off a year ago.

OP posts:
Aridane · 05/08/2018 08:16

Stressful to receive a present Grin

BarbaraofSevillle · 05/08/2018 08:30

Yes, it's stressful to receive presents.

Because of the guilt about the waste of money and resources.

And the obligation to return the favour, so you have to trek to the shops only to be faced with a load of overpriced shite that nobody wants or needs but we all seem to be in a ritual of exchanging unnecessary crap to keep the commercial juggernaught rolling along.

Can't you see that life is simpler without this? Buy the shower gel of your choosing with your grocery shopping. Doesn't stop friends and families getting together at Christmas etc and it means they can get to do it without having to pretend to like something they don't before sticking it in a cupboard or sending it to a charity shop or tombola to be reunited with all the other unwanted gift sets, as attested by all those who volunteer in charity shops or run tombolas.

Elmo230885 · 05/08/2018 08:38

Tacky is an odd term to use
I'm not a fan of toiletry gift sets a presents when no thought has gone into them
However, I do use the boots sale as my mum loves one of their ranges. Using the sales means I can get her a very large set for a lot less and save it for her birthday. That was she gets 2-3 times more if what she likes and uses

Bluelady · 05/08/2018 09:04

If receiving an unwanted gift causes someone stress their stress levels must be pretty damn low. Just hand them over to people whose lives are full of genuine stress because they have nothing.

BarbaraofSevillle · 05/08/2018 09:29

But the gift sets are stupidly overpriced and surrounded in wasteful packaging so that they look like a gift. That's the point.

Even at 70% off or 3 for 2 etc, they're terrible value for money compared with buying the exact same items when on special offer in Boots, Superdrug, supermarkets or discount stores where you can buy more of the same items for the same money without the mark up because of the packaging so it's a 'gift'.

If I was to donate £10 of toiletries to the foodbank, what do you think they would prefer? A larger number of items to help more people or less items but surrounded in useless packaging? Do people really get extra pleasure from Dove or Lynx because it comes in a box?

2ManyDicksOnTheDancefloor · 05/08/2018 09:46

My SIL does this and it annoys me, mainly because she buys the present because it is cheap rather than because she thinks it it something the person would like. She then has the cheek to ask for a very specific present for herself and her son, if we try and suggest a present for us she says it's too late, she already bought our present. We no longer exchange gifts for this reason!

Bluelady · 05/08/2018 09:59

Are you missing the point on purpose, Barbara? Of course unpackaged toiletries would be better if they were purchased specifically for food bank donations. Passing on unwanted gifts is a completely different issue, better you do that than bin them. People with nothing are likely to see a gift set as untold luxury, most people don't have your level of privilege - especially those who have to use food banks.

WatermelonGlitter · 05/08/2018 10:00

I agree with the poster who mentioned stopping gift giving. So much stress and expense buying gifts for each other that we never like or use. It's completely pointless..but wider family insist on it unfortunately.

Teaformeplz · 05/08/2018 10:10

My DM buys the boots gift sets for her nieces/nephews who have grown up and so have outgrown recieving presents from most family members. She thinks it's nice for them to have gifts to open and enjoys giving but wouldn't buy them an expensive gift. She doesn't buy them in the boxing day sale though

MikeUniformMike · 05/08/2018 10:11

The giftsets aren't more expensive, generally. Some are good if you actually want all the items.

BarbaraofSevillle · 05/08/2018 10:12

No I'm not missing the point at all. The very existence of these gift sets is part of the obligation that most people feel to give gifts that many cannot afford, many don't want, are terrible value for money and an environmental nightmare.

Many people get into debt and stress and end up at the foodbank because 'they cannot afford to do Christmas' and if they weren't caught up in the merrygo round of buying shite like this for Aunty Susan twice removed that they never see except to exchange gift sets that nobody wants, they'd have more chance of spending what little money the have on things that their immediate family needs.

It's not simply a question of what to do with unwanted gift sets, it's more about questioning why they exist in the first place.

MaisyPops · 05/08/2018 10:15

I use one brand of skincare. I only ever buy it in sales or on offer as it's the way to make it more affordable (and I'm not paying more out of some odd sense of pride).
My family know this so watch for offers or sales, buy it and then give me it as a gift.
I couldn't care less.

Now generic gift giving of a lynx boxed gift or a ted baker gift box with a couple of odd items and a dark blue nail varnish nobody will use, now that is tacky.

ali0210 · 05/08/2018 10:27

I actually love receiving sets like those mentioned! I couldn't care less if they were bought on sale or not. Sometimes I can't afford to buy some of the more luxurious and expensive ones by myself, so it's nice to have them bought to me as a present so that I can see whether it's worth stocking up when they're on sale/worth saving and paying full price for.

My aunt absolutely adores all of the soap and glory range so the sets she receives from everyone at Christmas will do her all year! Means we can afford to get her some other things to bulk out the entire present too.

I managed to bag some great bargains on makeup sets/brushes etc for my two younger cousins who had birthdays at the beginning of the year. They are still experimenting so it meant they could play around and see what works for them and what doesn't without wasting things that cost a small fortune!

Bluelady · 05/08/2018 10:35

They exist because people buy them! As for blaming food bank poverty levels on buying toiletry sets - words fail me. Disingenuous doesn't even begin to cover it. There's no point in even attempting to discuss anything with people who wilfully spout bollocks.

Ionlylookatthepictures · 05/08/2018 10:46

Personally I don’t like the Boots gift sets; I hardly ever use body cream, I don’t like most of the product ranges, and I hate the wasteful, unnecessary packaging. So i don’t buy them for others.

I do however shop in the sales all year round so I have almost all Christmas presents sorted now.

Hygge · 05/08/2018 10:52

"I prefer it now that my extended family has stopped the unnecessary gift giving. It was very stressful and expensive."

I think the people picking this apart have missed the point.

An extended family buying gifts for each other can be stressful and expensive because it has to be reciprocated.

It shouldn't be this way but it often is. Even token gifts can be expensive and if you all feel like you're just exchanging token gifts for the sake of it then I can see why that person said they felt this way.

Sneering about someone feeling stressed about the expense isn't very helpful.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 05/08/2018 11:16

For me it’s the packaging that riles me

Of course an 7 year old using pocket money is sweet

I also have nothing against discount - Superdrug vitamin E looking atcha!

But I can’t lie as a gift I would be lessSmile

WatermelonGlitter · 05/08/2018 12:11

The reciprocal gift buying is a waste of time and money in most cases. I would rather they spent their money on an experience they could enjoy and remember, and I would rather do the same...if I want a scarf/toiletry set/photo frame/bit of jewellery I can buy it myself...and they can too.

ChiaraRimini · 05/08/2018 13:08

I buy the boots 3 for 2 sets for my teens when they are reduced to silly prices in Jan as they are a nice little stocking filler. I wouldn't get them as a gift for an adult as they are a bit impersonal. It's a shame to see all the sets in the charity shop come January, and who knows how many just get chucked in the bin as well.

PeckhamPauline · 05/08/2018 13:17

Toiletry sets are a tacky gift no matter how much has been spent on them.
So you might as well get them in the sale.

I'm saving all the ones I got last year to re-gift back to the same friends.

mastertomsmum · 05/08/2018 16:16

Experience type gifts can be a real gamble and are often a lot of money wasted.

Anyone else here been brought lone of those money off in multiple restaurants for a year. I love going out to dinner but that kind has of gift rarely embraces the sort of dining experience I’d want. But a large box set of Moulton Brown shower gel that will last a year - yes please

FiestaThenSiesta · 05/08/2018 17:18

“I'm saving all the ones I got last year to re-gift back to the same friends.”

Now that is both tight, tacky and rude.

PeckhamPauline · 05/08/2018 17:46

Now that is both tight, tacky and rude

If you can't beat 'em...

WatermelonGlitter · 05/08/2018 18:00

Experience type gifts can be a real gamble and are often a lot of money wasted

When I said that I would rather people kept their money and spent it on an experience they could enjoy I meant spent it on themselves doing something they would like to do, rather than spend it on me..and then I would do vice versa for myself..rather then buying each other unwanted presents.

LeftRightCentre · 05/08/2018 19:01

All this angst over a bit of Soap and Glory. FFS, just give it away then.