Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH does absolutely NOTHING

17 replies

Kr3000 · 03/08/2018 17:48

Just ranting. Long time lurker, please be gentle. It's our DS birthday next week so we are having a birthday party at home. For months I have been asking DH to get the garden in order. I am on mat leave and he works full time, so I can tolerate (begrudgingly) me doing the majority of the housework. He's been putting it off for months now, and oh no, he's suddenly injured so can't do the garden so I attempted it. Its like a jungle. I spend an hour trying to get it slightly clear, to then hear"are you mad? "! Yes I effing am!

Aibu to now sit in said garden drinking his beer?!

OP posts:
ferntwist · 03/08/2018 17:51

YANBU. Lazy ass DH. Any mates/brothers who he could call on to help as a favour or could you ask him to pay a gardener to help you for a couple of hours? Job for a sixth former or student in need of extra cash?

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 03/08/2018 17:52

I think YABU to say he does nothing if he’s working FT.

Having a new baby can be stressful. It sounds like perhaps both of you are not really appreciating how much the other has to do already.

Original poster
Kr3000 · 03/08/2018 17:53

@fentwist I am really tempted to get a gardener. I've managed to get through most of the brambles which seem to thrive in any weather. He's looking after the DS while I avoid him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kr3000 · 03/08/2018 17:55

@illstartexercisingtomorrow fair point re full time work. It's just very frustrating at times!

OP posts:
motortroll · 03/08/2018 18:48

I don't think yabu to as he does nothing. Working full time can be stressful but who in the world gives up the rest of their life just because their working! He was allocated/chose the job ages ago anyway so he could have just done it!!

I fully sympathise as I also do everything. Dh does work full time but he just randomly wandered in at 3.30 today....hardly high stress! I've done 3 loads of washing since then including hanging out and bringing in and cooked the dinner. He has sat down. He also has a mystery injury.....convenient!

Original poster
Kr3000 · 03/08/2018 19:06

@motortroll my goodness that sounds familiar! 2 loads of washing today. He's started saying it feels better now. Yeah I'm sure it does.

OP posts:
Ethylred · 03/08/2018 19:43

Come on, he doesn't do absolutely nothing and you know it.

Singlenotsingle · 03/08/2018 19:52

It's better to get someone in to do the jobs neither of you want to do, or can't do. Gardening, painting/decorating etc - boring, hard work, and there are experts who can do it much better than you. You wouldn't dream of doing your own plumbing or electrical work, would you? This is no different!

motortroll · 04/08/2018 00:09

I just want to add that I have a cleaner usually. I "only" work part time but I literally can't fit everything in so I pay a cleaner once a week. In school hols atm so no cleaner! I was away last week with all the kids I've had to do all the washing that was still in the basket before I went as well as holiday washing.

The main issue I have is that he really does literally do nothing at home. Eg takes his socks off and there they stay kind of nothing....his bikes always clean though....

For those saying"oh he doesn't do nothing though"..... working full time is not an excuse for doing nothing at home!!obviousjy the balance may be different but why shouldn't athey take responsibility for things like bringing in a wash off the line...takes 5 mins!!!

MistressDeeCee · 04/08/2018 00:35

When I worked full time I did stuff at home too. It wasn't an absolvement. Or is it different for women🙄

chestylarue52 · 04/08/2018 09:39

Oh ffs. I work full time I also do all my housework and gardening.

With 8 hours sleep a night and a full work week there are still c. 70 hours spare a week. It takes ten minutes to run a hoover round or clean the bath.

Babdoc · 04/08/2018 09:45

He sounds bone idle. I was a widowed single parent, worked full time and did all my own cleaning, gardening, DIY, decorating and cooking. When DH was alive, he did his full share - he was a very hands on dad and excellent cook, who wouldn’t have dreamed of claiming FT work meant a free pass from housework.

Shezza71 · 04/08/2018 09:58

I used to get a cleaner in while DH was at work because working full time with quite long hours it's something I really didn't want to do when u did have some free time. In your position I would get a gardener in to get it sorted (might even pretend I had done it all myself Wink)

Mmer · 04/08/2018 10:13

He doesn't really have an excuse if you have been asking him for months. I get if people don't want to do chores on weeknights, but he must have had some weekends off over the past few months.

AngelsSins · 04/08/2018 10:19

I think YABU to say he does nothing if he’s working FT

Having a new baby can be stressful. It sounds like perhaps both of you are not really appreciating how much the other has to do already

I think almost all of us know what working full time isn’t like, we’ve done it/do it. My partner and I both work full time, but we don’t have a home skivvy so we still have to cook and clean; how on earth do we manage Hmm

MorningCuppa · 04/08/2018 10:32

I think the op meant he does absolutely nothing at home?

If so then no, just because he works full time it doesn't mean that he can't help out at home.
I mean after all children are more than a full
Time job there 24/7 all hours.

Original poster
Kr3000 · 04/08/2018 11:18

That is what I mean, stuff at home. It just amazed me that I ended up doing the garden after asking for so long!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread