Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To change my name half way through my life?

26 replies

Specky12 · 03/08/2018 16:45

I have always been rather nonplussed by the given name, just accepted and not really thought about it, but in honesty it is dated and has stereotypes attached (think Sharon, Mandy type name). My DH, misheard my name when we met and thought it was something similar but much nicer and shorter and it became my nickname to him only and it is not commonly known outside of family that he calls me this. The thing is I much prefer it and would rather it was my name. I am 40... What would your reaction be to a middle age woman changing her name? Is it just silly? I'm not thinking of doing it legally, just informing people I know and changing on message apps and social media.

OP posts:

GreenTulips · 03/08/2018 16:47

My sister did similar - wish I was brave early bough as I hate my name
Just go for it

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/08/2018 16:47

I would probably think it a bit odd tbf but if you want to then go for it.

Strugglingtodomybest · 03/08/2018 16:48

Honestly, at first I'd think it was a bit weird, but if you explained to me that you'd always hated it but never changed it because you were worried about how other people would react, I would say good on you for doing something for yourself and not worrying what others think (finally).

dinosaurkisses · 03/08/2018 16:48

Reading with interest- I’m in the same boat.

I’m 29 and wish I’d had the balls to change mine when I was 18. Same story as you- dated name which I have always hated.

I wanted to do it when I was 21 but my mum and boyfriend at the time laughed at me 😞.

DH has a teenage relation on his side who has decided to change her name now she’s 15- there has been some sniggering from the extended family but I think it’s fantastic that she’s done something about it!

redexpat · 03/08/2018 16:49

Im waiting for mum to die before I change mine.

crivit · 03/08/2018 16:50

I'd think it was great. Known several people who have changed their name (both informally and legally) and they're all much happier with the newer one. If the name your DH calls you feels like you then why go through life with another name that doesn't?

Justanotheruser01 · 03/08/2018 17:47

A good friend of mine decided to change her surname to something which meant more to her. I would love when im old to change my name to my nickname i wouldnt do it whilst still of working age because its very much a nickname but its who i am so i want it on my eventual resting place! (Morbid!)

Roussette · 03/08/2018 17:53

I have two relations who have changed their name (not sure if they've done it officially but they asked to now be called something different) and they were in their 40's when they did it!. Not drastically... more like a Janet to Janine type thing.

Sorry but I find it irritating! When you've called somebody something for 40 odd years, it's really hard for everyone to now call you something different. Just my personal opinion of course

trojanpony · 03/08/2018 17:54

My aunt did this (similar thing sounds like her name but shorter)
she hated her name her whole life
She changed it officially about 10 years ago as has no regrets

I reckon Go for it!!!!

AlphaBravo · 03/08/2018 17:57

Do it. You shouldn't have any issues unless your family and friends are a bunch of arseholes.

CarefullyDrawnMap · 03/08/2018 17:57

I'd do it too. And I'd do it again further down the line if I felt like a change a few years later too. There are a lot of good names around and so little time.

Izzyw1983 · 03/08/2018 18:20

I have changed my name 3 times and plan on doing again before my baby is born (just surname this time though)
Other than having to change all your bills...ID....Paperwork etc... it's all easy and straight forward xx

SugarandVinegar · 03/08/2018 18:28

Go for it, I"m much older than you, op and I changed my Christian and surnames last year after divorcing.

My old name wasn't bad in any way I just didn't want to have any connections with my ex at all. I chose a first name I like, it was my grandma's name. It's bloody liberating and big thing for you but it's a two minute wonder for everyone else - do it.

SynchroSwimmer · 03/08/2018 18:39

I would say definitely just go for it....it can be fun too!

When my mum moved house to a new area she just introduced herself to what are now her new friends, saying that her name was XXX, and it has stuck, it works brilliantly.

When I get my mum any sort of subscription or delivery, I also add in a cheeky exotic name, which makes her laugh (Sophia)

Similarly I have done the same, when asked on a holiday what my name was among new friends, I just instantly “became” a Helga...and it’s stuck.

Also opened a new e-mail address including the new name as a middle name alongside my birth name....so existing friends, having seen the email address, happily clap me on the shoulder and eagerly greet me as “Helga” too. They see it as something amusing - and I happily play along to it.

I did encounter a single chap who was loitering with interest in a hotel, keen to engage when I was busy and really couldn’t be bothered...
He said “so, Helga....that’s an unusual name......”
I just said “it’s not my real name” - as I didnt want to pass the time of day.

His reply still makes me laugh: “Ok, Well, I’ll be off to bed now”!

Go for it, I say
X

Cismyass · 03/08/2018 18:50

I plan to do the same. My name is bog standard and everyone round here shortens it to the wrong nic name (think Jenny not Jen) and i've given up correcting them wasting my breath . I plan to change my name (once i can face all the paperwork this will generate!) then when called 'Jenny' will politely inform them that, actually my name is Araminta (or some such). I've always DETESTED my surname to the point it has massively impacted on my mental health. Subsequently DD and i have my ex husband's surname (i married young to be rid of the name before the days of deedpoll), he isn't even DD's DF nor is he any part of our lifd. I planned ahead though so DD has our future surname as her second middle name so can go from Gloria Gertrude Flower Jones to Gloria Gertrude Flower and i will full on transform from Jen Jones to Araminta Flower, though will pretend i've reverted to my maiden name to newer friends and that it's my married name to older friends, and pretend to one and all Araminta was my real name but i chose to gk by Jen for all these 39 years to hide my true blue blooded roots. I do suffer from Bipolar if this sounds mental but this honestly is my plan; finally i will have a beautiful sing song flower fairy name and DD and i will have our own invented matriachal untainted by men surname.

Cismyass · 03/08/2018 18:52

*life.

TheBookThief · 03/08/2018 18:56

Go for it!
Your name, your choice, no one else's business, anyone who doesn't like it can go and spin.

Beeziekn33ze · 03/08/2018 19:05

Specky - what The BookThief said!

ForalltheSaints · 03/08/2018 19:07

Could you not use your middle name? Many people do, including two of my family.

GodivaEater · 03/08/2018 19:09

I’ve been thinking of doing the same OP. My name was chosen by my mother who I no longer speak to. I have separated off from my whole family as I’ve had a shitty life with them all. Plus my name also gets shortened by people to something that sounds a bit chavvy and I’ve always hated it.

I’ve been thinking of changing it as a fresh start. Go for it OP.

llangennith · 03/08/2018 19:18

I've always liked my name even though it's a common name among 60ish yo women but if I didn't like it I'd change it. In fact I'd've changed it years ago.
My eldest DD has a full-on first name which we always shortened. When she was 9 she decided she wanted to be called the longer name and asked everybody (including school) to stop using using the shorter name. Only took a few days for everyone to get used to it.
Go for it OP!

OlafLovesAnna · 03/08/2018 19:40

I started a thread asking similar- I'm 40 and think I'm just going to start introducing myself as my new shortened name.

MaryShelley1818 · 03/08/2018 19:42

My lovely Mother is going to change her name at the grand old age of 65! She’s always hated her given name - life is short - do what makes you happy :)

DoubleNegativePanda · 03/08/2018 19:44

My sister changed her name (first, middle and last) at age 45. Everyone got used to it and it's hard to imagine calling her the original name now!

WonderTweek · 03/08/2018 19:54

Go for it! It may take your family and friends a couple of weeks/months to get used to it but if it feels right, do it. My childhood friend always hated her name and as a teenager she just made up a name for herself (this wasn’t even a standard name) and made us all call her by it. We sniggered for a bit (we were teenagers too!) but quickly got used to the new name. She used to pretend she didn’t hear us if we called her by her given name, which was quite effective. We are all in our 30s now and she still goes by the new name and had it officially changed about 10 years ago.

Someone I work with recently changed their name to the first syllable of their given name, and it works fine for them. I think everyone has an opinion on these things but at the end of the day it’s only a name so if you feel more comfortable with a different name, I’d say go for it.

Flip

1 2