Am I being overprotective?

[Pinkfern]

My 14 year has been unwell. She has a trip abroad with a team. Not the sort of thing that families go along on. She is determined to go and I am very stressed about it.

I want to go with my other kids and stay about half an hour away from where that ar staying just in case of emergencies. I would not go on the same flight or would not see her unless I was needed.

I don’t work during the summer so annual leave is not an issue and cost is not a factor.

DH says he doesn’t object to us going and having a holiday but he thinks that I am being massively over protective and it would be better for DDs sense of independence if we didn’t go.

DD says she doesn’t care so long as we stay away from her unless there is an emergency.

There are only a couple of direct flights a week to where she will be so if there was an emergency it would be more than 24 hours until I could get to her if I stay at home.

DDs doctor raised an eyebrow at the trip until I mentioned I would go but didn’t say she should not go alone.

As long as you don’t get involved at all unless needed then it makes sense.

Have you spoken to the leaders of the trip to make sure they are happy to take her?

Unwell could mean a whole number of things. Hard to say without knowing the level of illness.

Don't know - are we talking chest infection illness levels or are we talking hospitalised for an eating disorder levels?

I think that sounds lovely as long as there is entertainment for the other dc and it will be a "holiday" for them. If the Dr raised an eyebrow, without us knowing what the illness is, I'd think you'd be doing the right thing.

How long is the trip? What difference would it make to her health issues if anything went wrong? Urgent as in medical procedure needed? If it is a mental health issue, then the independence might help a bit tbh.

When you say she has been ill? A cold or an on going serious health issue.

How unwell though ? If she is fit enough to go withher team then she is fit enough to go alone as arranged, If she gets ill when you are there you will have to take you other kids to get her and get home if she takes ill when you are at home you can arrange to go and get her

Somewhere between chest infection and hospitalization for eating disorder. She is very private so I don’t like giving details.

Are the adults going aware of her health and are they ok with her going ?

Will going on the trip make her feel like a "normal" 14yo? Because I think there's lot to be said for teenagers with chronic conditions being able to 'be teenagers' IYSWIM.
Do you even need to tell her you'd be closer?

You know if it is going to give you peace of mind about her going just book somewhere with your other kids sounds like you wouldn't settle if you were at home.

DS was unwell and his doctor wouldn't allow him to go away on a trip. How unwell is unwell? And where is away?

Is your DD on medication? Will the heat where she's going impact on her illness?

I think that sounds s good idea. It won't do any harm, so why not for peace of mind.

Well, if you won't say the ballpark nature of the illness or where it is it's hard to say.

If it's within a couple of hours and a nice place for a family, fair enough. If you're dragging the rest of the family long haul to somewhere none of them want to go then that is irrational.

My 14 year old DD had a school trip away a few weeks ago, she has a serious medical condition. I went along without her knowing, luckily I went as we had to pick her up early due to her being unwell. I would definitely do it if she goes away again.

Coach knows and has her medication.

I booked to go. Other kids are thrilled at bonus holiday.

Sounds overprotective to me - if she's well enough to go, she's well enough to go without you. So long as team leaders are made aware of her condition, how it's treated, any potential difficulties etc (seeing as no information has been given on here, difficult to say)

Seems unnecessary to me