To expect my parents to stop having a go ALL THE TIME

[mother2b]

7 weeks ago i found out i am pregnant, and am in the process of moving out with DP but in the mean time i still live with my parents, my parents have ALWAYS had a go at me for stupid reasons like i left my plate on the side when i am 100 times tidier then they will ever be, they will even stopp me in my tracks and tell me to wait while they think of something to have a go at me about!
Am I unreasonable to think that now im pregnant they should try to stop having a go at me for stupid reasons when they could just ask me to do/not to do something and i would/wouldnt do it, they dont need to shout at me!
is this unreasonable?

BTW i am almost 21

YANBU

are they having problems loosing control of you now you are moving out? Maybe you should just remind them you are an adult, you are grown up and can look after yourself.

Also are your pg hormones making this seem worse than it is iykwim

You are not being unreasonable & have my sympathy because I still have my parents doing this to me & I'm 34!

you are doing the right thing moving out, they probaby don't want you to and are expressing it by sniping at you. My parents still do it sometimes and I am 29

My parents have always done it, i went through a 'difficult' stage when i was 14/15 and went off the rails abit and when out all the time drinking and skipping school(this was because i kept getting attacked)and they always make out i am a really bad person(btw i dont drink now at all, even before i got pregnant, the only things i do is go to work and see DP)i never have a go at them (although i have been known to snap back after an hour or so of constant griping)
If i try and cook for them i never put enough salt in the cooking, if i was up its not done properly, if i make tea the cup isnt full enough/too full or its too sweet/not sweet enough
TBH its got to the stage where i cant wait to move out just so i dont ever have to see them

just think how much better things will be when you move out, and can live your life with your DP and your new baby.....sounds like they are always going to be picky...so you can either

try to change them...unlikely
or
change your reaction to them...!

and focus on teh lovely future you will have not under their roof!

your lucky you still have your parents, imagine life without them and see if you think their sniping is still so annoying.

so you think i being completely unreasonable?

not totally, but it makes me sad when people have a go at their family, they have no idea how it feels when they turn round one day and their parent / partner has passed away and they didn't appreciate them when they were alive.

They are your parents, they love you - they must do - they have provided you with a roof over your head for 21 years, I assume they have provided you with a stable loving environment (if I am wrong in this assumption - then I apologise) you are their DD and you are now pregnant, leaving home. That is a lot for them to get used to.

I lived away from home for 3 years - studying - then went back and I didn't do things the way my mum wanted them done and it did cause tension, I didn't wipe up, spread the butter around the egdes of the slice of bread, fill the cup up to the top - and yes it was so annoying and I left home like you are doing.

Then 5 years ago my dad passed away - and now life seems so different - is it worth stressing over the things they stress over - can't you just comply whilst in their house, it is their house - then when they visit you in yours they will have to comply to your likes and dislikes.

All I am saying is life is to short to get het up over small things - I'm not being horrible - I have been there - but please just love them for who they are - you may be in their shoes one day - when your DC is grown up!

Parents can't help but fuss, they grow better at it the older they get.

it is lovely to have your parents around but no one deserves constant put downs and moving out eventually is normal. don't feel guilty for having a moan, it is a lot for them to get used too but it is normal to make your own life.

i do love my parent and i tell them all the time, everytime i leave them, everytime i go to bed, everytime i finish talking to them on the phone(not that they say it back) i do appreciate them and i know that they are the only parents i have and one day wont be there, its just i try and do things how they like and in the past i have just listen to what they are shout at me about and apologise i just think that maybe they should just limit their outburst to maybe 1 day??? or just not have a go at me at all???

They still treat me like a child, even more so than my younger (18) sister (eg. they let her have her DP stay over but not mine(even though they have mad it clear they dont like her DP but do mine(not that her DP Knows(sorry for all the brackets))))

am really sorry for this thread its just really getting me down, have put up with this my whole life and just thought that now i am pregnant they shout calm down a little

Jaynerae
I do try and comply with their rules but everytime i do whatever it is their expectations and what they want change, its not that i dont try and follow their rules, i know its their house and their rules (thats their motto) but nothing i EVER do is good enough

It's normal to feel like this but your pg hormones may be making you feel like it's ten times worse than it really is.

I expect your parents are worried about you and this is their way of expressing it. I spend a lot of time helping around my parents house but this cuts no ice if I leave something laying around. It's their job to nag.

FWIW, you'll be nagging your child(ren) soon too.

I think it's too simplistic to say that you should put up with anything because you should be grateful you have parents etc.

You are 21 and an adult. They should treat you as an adult. I think sometimes it can be difficult for parents to remember that their 'little girl' isn't so little any more, especially if they are all still living under the same roof.

Hopefully things will improve when you move out. You will probably need to establish some boundaries fairly early on though. If you let them get away with shouting at you in your new home at the beginning they will think that it's acceptable behaviour. If they do it when you go back to visit then you will have the freedom to choose to visit them less often.

Good luck with the move and the pregnancy.