Venomous family and passive OH... AIBU

[DCam06]

I don't want to get in to it but I've had horrific childhood and a turbulent relationship with my family (mum and sister. Not saw my dad since I was 15)
My mum is an alcoholic who has been 'sober' almost a year but still sends me very cruel and poisonus messages whenever she drinks. Mostly nonsense about how my polish boyfriend is using me to live in the UK and that I'm pathetic, codependant etc. She always apologises and we go back to our strained but cival relationship.
My older sister on the other hand is a piece of work. She is a drug user and has had 2 children taken in to care. I've not spoken to her since as she made up nasty lies about me to squander my attempt at gaining kinship care. She has a daughter who is 3 still with her (Lord knows how) and I've been seeing her via my mum. My sister has found out and posted a large comment on Facebook basically dragging me through the mud and regurgitating all the nasty things my mum says about my relationship with my OH.
I am hurt and upset (but not surprised tbh) that my mum and my sister have obviously been bitching about me for her to say the same things!
I'm tempted to end the relationship with my mum as both she and my sister cause me nothing but grief and upset. My OH is being very passive about it and making me think AIBU. Thoughts?

If they both see you leading a decent happy life with your oh, without the need for drink or drugs, I imagine they are both envious of you.
Asking your oh for an opinion is not really fair because you are the only person who can decide what you want your relationship with your mum to be. If he says anything either for or against, he could be accused of taking sides.
As long as he supports you in whatever decision you make, that’s the best he can do.

Sadly some people quit drinking but still engage in manipulation. It's called being a "dry drunk".

I would recommend ceasing contact and seeking support. You might see if there is an Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) group in your area. These are for loved ones affected by someone else's alcoholism.

My family was poisonous to my DW from day one, after many years of the same to me growing up. Went NC and it all got a lot better as it was never going to change. Tough to cut the cord but sometimes its the only option. Good luck!

Block them both from your phone and social media and then cut them out gradually. I have a poisonous relation that I'm low contact with, she's blocked on social media & I might see her once a year at a family gathering. Life is short, it's not a practice run so make the most of it and who you choose to spend it with.

Thank you for your comments. I'm happy to continue ceasing contact with my sister as she really is nothing but grief. My mum does go through very helpful 'motherly phases I.e helping out with housework when I'm really busy with work,studying etc
I spoke to my mum today and told her what my sister had done and she said she has mentioned her concerns about my OH but never "bad mouthed" me. She said she tried to stop my sister's vendetta against me last night but fell asleep before it came to a head. X