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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think my ds (almost 6) won’t night train on his own...

48 replies

Eboblah · 02/08/2018 21:25

First post (can’t believe took me 5 years to become addicted to mumsnet).

DS is 6 in September and still in nappies at night. I know this is still considered relatively ‘normal’ and have heard doctors won’t get involved till 7. He’s been out of nappies daytime since he was 3 but always wakes up with a full nappy. He’s quite motivated to get out of nappies (obsessed with having a sleepover with friends) but is a real deep sleeper, asked me today how do i know that I need to do a wee at night. I’ve seen a lot of people mention online that a hormone needs to kick in, but never seen anything about this officially. I’d be really interested to hear if anyone’s ds ‘naturally’ night trained after this age, or did it take some kind of ‘intervention’, and if so what? I just don’t see it happening naturally so would prefer to start intervening sooner rather than later if that’s what it’s going to take. Thanks for any thoughts

OP posts:

UniversalTruth · 02/08/2018 21:30

No idea, but I'm in the same boat! I always thought you had to wait but I thinking the same as you - it might be that ds needs to learn to wake himself properly. I'm dreading the amount of washing it's going to create getting there though

HollowTalk · 02/08/2018 21:32

I took my son when he was nearly 7 and the doctor said that about the hormone. He gave us something for my son to sniff. He never wet the bed again. He did have to sniff it every night for the month, but it was never actually a problem again.

Before then I'd lift him up every night when I went to bed, but most nights he'd wake up wet. (He didn't wear nappies at night.)

Jamiefraserskilt · 02/08/2018 21:34

Took mine to the loo when I went to bed, usually they did not remember being lifted and walking through. Breakthrough came when I put pants on them overnight. This seemed to hold things in place iyswim.

Sandstormbrewing · 02/08/2018 21:34

A hormone (ADH) needs to be developed- it can take up to 7 years and sometimes longer, particularly in boys. It reduces urine production at night, so you simply don't need to go as frequently as you go in the day.

One potential treatment is replacement of that hormone (via a tablet dissolved under the tongue). It's rarely the first option though.

Nappies can hinder the learning process. Similarly to how you learn to be dry in the day, initially recognising you've urinated, then slowly recognising the feeling before you do it then recognising it earlier and earlier. Nappies reduce the ability to recognise you've urinated, particularly if you are asleep.

If he is really asking to 'learn' I'd recommend a waterproof sheet, a towel or incontinence sheet and a ready supply of spare PJ's and bedding. Try it for a week or do and see if he learns to wake when he needs a wee.

parrotonmyshoulder · 02/08/2018 21:35

I’m in exactly the same position with my just 6 year old DS. He really wanted to be pull up free earlier this year and we tried a six week period but it was nightly total bed wetting. Went back to pull ups and have just begun again tonight. He’s already wet through at 9.30.

HellenaHandbasket · 02/08/2018 21:35

My nearly 8 yr old has just asked to start wearing pull ups again at night, sh does have some dry nights but is wet more often than not. I took her to docs and they put a referral in (back in March) but haven't heard anything yet.

I'm not overly concerned as it will happen for her, but she's a bit down about it.

Borris · 02/08/2018 21:36

My dd was 6.5 and literally over night stopped bed wetting. No intervention at all

SummerofDoom · 02/08/2018 21:39

Ive just bought a 'wet stop' alarm after reading reviews of them working for 6yos on amazon. We're about to move and when we do 6yos bedroom will be next to the bathroom so that's when we will start in earnest.

MrsTWH · 02/08/2018 21:40

It depends whether the problem is hormonal or that he just sleeps very deeply...

My 6 year old DS was the same. We bought a WetStop alarm from Amazon as I was fairly confident he was just a deep sleeper. Within 2-3 weeks, completely dry at night and not one lapse since! Worth a try.

SummerofDoom · 02/08/2018 21:42

Cross post MrsTWH - fingers crossed then! I think my 6yo is just an incredibly deep sleeper too so hoping that will help.

SleepyPaws · 02/08/2018 21:42

It can happen, our boy was the same up until he was 7, it was like a switch flicked and he's had no accidents since. He was referred to an enuresis clinic when he was 6 and we did trial a medication called desomelts which is meant to stop the night wetting but it didn't work for us. We had the option of trying a bed wetting alarm but due to some sensory issues we thought this may have been to distressing for him so decided not to.

parrotonmyshoulder · 02/08/2018 21:43

Mine’s not completely reliable in the day time either. Doesn’t seem to know he needs to go until he Really Needs To Go, by which time it’s often too late. GP said last year that it was just behavioural. Hates school toilets etc.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 02/08/2018 21:45

We've recently had our first appt at the enuresis clinic for DD7 (almost 8). Got a load of forms to fill in, tracking drinks, wees etc. Biggest recommendation was to UP daytime drinking to a minimum of 8x250ml cups a day (water or squash, milk doesn't count). No lifting.

I also bought the wet stop alarm at the same time. We are about five weeks in and she is now dry at night WITHOUT the alarm, waking by herself to use the toilet!

Our next clinic appt is on Monday (should have had it already but had to rearrange) and I believe she will be discharged!

Literally can't believe how quick it has happened! I myself wet the bed until I was a young teenager (alarm did nothing for me the only thing that worked was the hormone nasal spray) so I assumed DD would be the same!

KnickerBockerGlooooory · 02/08/2018 21:45

I tried a wet stop alarm with DD2 as at 7, she was desperate to sleepover with friends and attend Brownie camp. It didn't work for her, she was such a deep sleeper it woke me before her! At some point before she was 8, it all just clicked into place... seemingly no rhyme or reason. She'd been dry in the day since 3yo

Almostfifty · 02/08/2018 21:46

One of mine was eight. He just stopped one night.

ReservoirDogs · 02/08/2018 21:49

My son had to take desmopressin until he was 15 ao do.make an enuresis appointment as soon as the gp will let you if it doesn't happen naturally

parrotonmyshoulder · 02/08/2018 21:49

Those of you with older dc who just stopped - were they wetting nightly? Were they in pull-ups/ nappies?

halesie · 02/08/2018 21:51

Hi, my DS was 6 before he was out of pull ups at night. He sleeps v deeply too and still has accidents occasionally when he's stressed (he's 7 now) but mostly he gets up and to the loo fine in the night these days (we leave the lid up ready as he's not really awake when he goes at night). We try to make sure he goes to the loo before he goes to sleep too.

wonderwoo · 02/08/2018 21:58

My ds stopped being wet at night at nearly 8. It happened quite quickly when it started to improve.

The knly things I did were trying to increase daytime fluid intake, and have two wees before bed, which was advice from the school nurse. Although we had been doing that for a couple of years before he was dry at night so I am not sure of they helped!

The ERIC website is good.

My ds2 is still wet at night at nearly 6. I am not going to stress about it. The alarms sound like hard work and dont seem to help that much. I have faith it will happen in time.

wonderwoo · 02/08/2018 22:00

parrot my older ds was in pull ups (huggies pyjama pants) and was wet ebery single night. The pull ups would be completely filled by the morning.

Bingbangboo · 02/08/2018 22:13

My son is 7 and was dry in the day time at the usual time but we could never get him dry at night. We tried lifting etc but he was soaking the bed every night, so we put him back in pull ups at night. His nappies were always absolutely saturated every morning.

A few months ago we noticed a run of a few nights of being dry, and then the gaps between a wet nappy lengthened. It all happened very quickly over the course of a month or two. He is pretty much dry now, with just the occasional wet night, so he is out of nappies.

We just had a letter offering his first appointment at the enuresis clinic, so we've cancelled that for now and hopefully he's cracked it on his own and we won't need any input.

PureColdWind · 02/08/2018 22:30

My DS is 8 and a half and has just stopped wearing pull ups.

When he was small he wet every night. At age 7 he started having nights where he didn't wet but we kept the pull ups on every night. I went to the GP about it at age 7 but she wasn't concerned and said it wasn't unusual and that more likely than not he would stop eventually.

I noticed recently (age 8) that he hadn't wet in ages so he stopped using the pull ups about 6 weeks ago and hasn't wet since then.

My DS2 is 6 and wears pull ups and wets almost every single night. I'm going to leave him in pull ups and hopefully he'll stop needing them in time.

Original poster

Eboblah · 02/08/2018 22:41

Thanks all, really good to hear that it might sort itself out (I always veer to the lazier end of parenting), interesting about drinking more during the day. Think I’m going to try a few nights nappy free just in case that works, and then just go back to pull-ups for a while and fingers crossed it will resolve itself.

OP posts:

Schroedingerscatagain · 02/08/2018 22:41

Ds was nearly six and stopped within the space of a week, dd was 12 before she stopped at the onset of puberty

Dh and his db were both mid teens and just stopped as soon as puberty kicked in

It’s definitely familial so we’ve just never made a big deal of it and did seem hormone driven

Gottalovethesummer · 02/08/2018 22:48

DC 1 was dry in the day from 2 but only dry at night from 6.5 -7ish. Wore pull up every night then over the space of a couple of weeks it stopped altogether. I figured the hormone must have kicked in. DC2 was dry at night at the same time age 3.

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