DD is 3, so doesn’t really have any concept of money or savings etc. She has two bank accounts, a savings account which I can access whenever I need to and an ISA which no-one can access and will be given to DD when she is 18.
I split any money she gets for her birthday or Christmas (which is usually £60-80 as she has relatives that live quite away from us and just stick a card with money in the post rather than a present) between her accounts, so if she gets £60 I’ll put £30 in each account. Then when I am near a toy shop with DD and I know she has some money we pop in and buy a new toy. I pay on my card/with my cash then go and withdraw the money from her savings account to me back when I am next near the bank.
I never use the money for food, or shoes or clothes for DD, it is literally used for toys after her birthday or Christmas, sometimes it can be a few months after the day that we go shopping as the nearest big toy shop is out of town and I don’t go often. I do sometimes use that money for days out but I pay the ticket price but use her money for her to buy a small souvenir from gift shops.
ExH says I shouldn’t be using the bank account like that and if it’s in her bank account I shouldn’t touch it. The conversation started as DD has bought herself some garden toys today from her birthday money (birthday was in June). I explained I never use the money for clothes or her shoes or food and her relatives (most of them are his relatives but he doesn’t speak to them for some reason so they send cards to my address so that they know DD will get it – I also go to the effort of making thank you cards with DD to send back to them as ExH wouldn’t bother) send the money for it to be spent on “fun” things for DD and as long as the money is spent on DD I think it doesn’t matter. ExH says it's wrong, it's DDs money and I shouldn't be using it for things I should be buying myself.
AIBU or should I be buying these things and leaving DDs money alone? Will add I always split the money equally so half always goes into her ISA which we cannot access so she will still have some savings when she reaches 18.