Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

AIBU to not work tomorrow

13 replies

Wishicouldsleep · 02/08/2018 08:48

I'm not sure what to do. Could I have some opinions please.

I have a 3 month old baby who is exclusively breastfeed.

I am self employed/freelance and have started taking on a bookings. Baby is left with my mum and (reluctantly) takes a bottle of breast milk. (I've left him 6 days in total)

I have a job tomorrow (New client. Probably won't work with them again, just a one off.) but baby is unwell. He has had a temporarure for two days now. Spent most of the night crying
Should I tell my client I can't work as my baby is ill? Or should I leave baby with my very capable mum and bottles of breastmilk?

I just don't know what to do. Either way I feel terribly guilty

OP posts:

EdinaMonsoon · 02/08/2018 08:51

Stay with your baby & explain to client. You clearly feel conflicted & chances are you won’t be as attentive to your client as you would under normal circumstances.

Seniorschoolmum · 02/08/2018 08:53

This one client, is it for an hour or the whole day?
If I’ve accepted a booking I do my best not to let people down but if it’s really urgent and you ring them early, before they leave home, most will be fine.
I hope little one is better soon.

Original poster

Wishicouldsleep · 02/08/2018 08:56

It's a whole day job. I really try not to let clients down. It's not like I'm unwell myself and baby will be well looked after by his grandmother... so I feel a bit of a fraud.

OP posts:

Happygoldfinch · 02/08/2018 08:57

Your mum is very capable and she would probably welcome the trust you demonstrate in leaving your baby with her. Her judgement is as sound as yours, she knows how to take baby's temperature, she knows she can call you should she be concerned - if I was luck enough to have that kind of support I'd definitely work! You'll feel guilty, but you might as well get used to that feeling now!

Margueritte · 02/08/2018 09:03

Do you need the money - not from this job in particular, but from work in general?

If so, don't let them down. Don't let word get around that you're not reliable.

Helloisitteaurlookingfor · 02/08/2018 09:07

If your mum is capable I would leave baby with her because it's not just this job but your rep.

Obviously if baby was seriously ill I would say to take the time off but sounds like your mum will manage fine.

Other alternative is for your partner (if you have one) to take time off and be with baby?

Teaformeplz · 02/08/2018 09:07

When you're self employed your reputation and reliability is the most important thing! Your mother is more than capable and wouldn't willingly look after your baby if she didn't want to

Palava57 · 02/08/2018 09:07

Given the support of yr mum & the fact you are freelance I think you need to do the work. It will destroy your professional reputation to let people down at short notice. If you are a SP (or have an unsupportive partner) there will be many times when you have this dilemma!
Also by tmrw your baby may be better.

GlitteryFluff · 02/08/2018 09:08

What sort of work is it? Like for example are they getting married and you're the hair dresser/mua? If so, I couldn't let them down.

If it's something less important/can wait, then I'd be in two minds.

I'm sure your mum would be fine though. She could always let you know throughout day how baby is.

Aprilsinparis · 02/08/2018 09:09

You say your Mother is very capable, I'm sure she will ring you if she becomes concerned about his health. I understand you feel you should be there, but you won't be doing anything different your Mother will be doing. Go to work, and stop guilt tripping yourself.

Merryoldgoat · 02/08/2018 09:09

At 3 months old I wouldn’t. How high is the temperature? A breastfed three month old should still be protected by your immune system and fevers of 39 or higher need medical attention.

Babies at that age can deteriorate quickly and I would want them with me to keep an eye.

NWQM · 02/08/2018 09:36

How influenced are you being by the fact that you wont work for this client again? If it was a different client would you be more likely to do it? I ask because I think leaving my poorly babies was the hardest thing I had to do but I did have to. So why not go and see how it feels for you and the baby? See how your Mum copes. If you are considering cancelling the client you will feel less awful about walking away if the baby does need you / your Mum feels she cant manage. Your baby will be likely to get ill so working out how you'll cope with this is important. This might be a good time for a trail run. It wont be easy - I honestly know - but good luck.

Original poster

Wishicouldsleep · 02/08/2018 09:47

Thank you all for your advice. It makes me feel more comfortable leaving him if I do decide to work tomorrow.
Like a lot of you said, my mum is just as capable as me to take care of him. I just know I will be able to sooth him by breastfeeding. However my mum will be able to give him cuddles.

You are right, my reputation is very important and it could affect my future work. The whole shoot can't go ahead without me as I am the actress. So if I don't turn up, everyone else's work day gets cancelled too and the client will lose a lot of money as I'm sure they will still have to pay studio hire and other members of the team.

I just feel so mean leaving my baby when he isn't well.

OP posts:

Flip