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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I clean on my lunch break?

22 replies

Hooli · 01/08/2018 20:26

After commuting up to 90 minutes each way for a good few years, I now have a job two minutes from home.

For the past few weeks I've been popping home for lunch. While at home I've been doing a few jobs (putting on washing, bringing washing in, emptying dishwasher).

DH and I are supposed to share chores equally and he's pretty good at sticking to his agreed things. However, since I've been doing things on my break, DH has been slacking, asking why I haven't done certain things like the bins etc... since I have time.

AIBU to no the spend my entire lunch break cleaning the house and therefore setting a precedent that all cleaning falls to me?

Or should I (as DH thinks) use my spare time so that we have more time together as a couple at night and as a family at the weekend??

OP posts:

Original poster

Hooli · 01/08/2018 20:28

And I know I could get a cleaner but these are more everyday things that need doing more regularly

OP posts:

dollydelightful · 01/08/2018 20:29

No way!! You def still want to split chores 50/50. When they are done is immaterial

IceCreamFace · 01/08/2018 20:30

YANBU of course your lunch break is a break whether you happen to spend it at home or at your desk.

foxyloxy78 · 01/08/2018 20:31

If you're happy using your lunch break to do house chores, then that's fine. But you need to talk to your husband and insist that he sticks to his. You can't do it all.

Coolaschmoola · 01/08/2018 20:31

Do you work the same amount of hours? Does DH have a long commute?

MrsAmaretto · 01/08/2018 20:31

No sod that. I used to go home sometimes for lunch, some days to a park or had to go to the post office etc or met a friend for lunch. I lived 5mins from my work. No way was I cleaning my house - it’s called a lunch break for a reason!

NaomiNagata · 01/08/2018 20:32

Hell No!

NapQueen · 01/08/2018 20:32

As long as you both chip in with the housework, when its done is up to the person surely. I would just say "fine ill just chill at home for my whole lunch break and make sure I do my bit when you can see what Im doing if you are going to be that much of a knob about it"

Applesandpears23 · 01/08/2018 20:34

I see his point tbh. Can he spend his lunch hour doing household admin (maybe do meal planning and order groceries online) or cut it short so he can get home earlier to do some cleaning?

Knittedfairies · 01/08/2018 20:37

Yes, ask him what tasks he can do during his lunch hour. He could order groceries, nip out to buy a birthday card, go to the Post Office etc.

Agastache · 01/08/2018 20:39

I work at home mostly, the odd day out and I don't do that level of chores!

I put a wash in, mainly if I need something to wear and I make a loaf of bread twice a week. That is pretty much it.

We do have a cleaner though. Life is too short.

frenchknitting · 01/08/2018 20:50

Does your DH have a 90 min each way commute? Because if you have 3 hours a day free when he's commuting then 50/50 isn't fair. But otherwise YANBU.

Racecardriver · 01/08/2018 20:51

If you have less of a commute though don't you have more time? How long is his working day including commute compared to yours? It's not really fair form him to spe D equal amounts of time on housework if he is forced to commute because of work while your commute is practically nonexistent.

mummyhaschangedhername · 01/08/2018 20:58

What does he contribute on his lunchtimes?

Original poster

Hooli · 01/08/2018 20:59

His is about ten minutes but he only gets a thirty minute lunch break. This means he gets home 30 mins before I do, but never cleans because he collects the kids and it's impossible to get sorted with them in the house .

OP posts:

Lynne1Cat · 01/08/2018 21:45

Can some chores be done before you/hubby go out to work?

LyndorCake · 01/08/2018 21:46

Does he live there any less than he did before? Of course he should still be doing his share

NapQueen · 01/08/2018 22:05

How old are the kids? Surely he can hang a line of laundry out or wipe counters over when he gets in?

TotHappy · 01/08/2018 23:21

Yanbu.

His commute doesn't count as part of his work time, anyway.

FASH84 · 02/08/2018 00:00

I used to do this when I worked closer to home, but only the odd quick task eg load or unload the washing machine/dishwasher or take the bins out on my way back out, no more than ten minute tasks

BackforGood · 02/08/2018 00:16

I'm inclined to agree with Knitted Fairies and Apples and Pears. If you are at home, with 3/4 hour to spare, it would seem sensible to crack on with those sorts of tasks and have more 'downtime' at the end of the day.
I work from home quite a bit, and always do stuff like emptying the dishwasher when I'm waiting for the kettle to boil or eating my lunch. Just prefer to get it done / out of the way. Makes sense to prep the dinner or hang out the washing early in the day, rather than having to start all afresh in the evening - when, for example, your washing wouldn't dry, or your casserole wouldn't cook in time for the meal.
dh can't do it from work, but he does other things - internet shopping or printing something out for us - which I can't do.
Being in a relationship and co-parenting with someone is different from being in a house share. Sometimes one does more of this and the other does a bit less, and then life evolves and it changes round. Doing 'the same' just doesn't always make sense.

LockedOutOfMN · 02/08/2018 00:18

Chores should be split 50/50. Up to you whether you do them at lunchtime or another time.

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