to be frustrated with maternity care?

[MissMoons]

I've had some really crappy maternity care which I won't go too far in to (midwives not turning up, results being given to me wrong, online notes which still say my due date is 3 weeks wrong etc).

I initially wanted to be at a MLU. Really good and whilst it is only 8 miles away from my house, the corresponding hospital is nearly 30 miles away. I was happy to go to this hospital for my appointments given that I could give birth at the MLU. MLU has great reviews, hospital doesn't.

Baby had an echogenic bowel which since disappeared. Having regular precautionary growth scans but everything looks fine. Been told nothing to worry about.

Spoke to MLU and they said they would accept me as long as consultant signed me off to say growth was fine. Consultant wants me to give birth in hospital regardless even though she tells me that the baby is normal and healthy. Won't sign me off until really close to due date.

Problem is, the hospital is so far away and takes close to 2 hours to get to in rush hour. I've been stuck in traffic for a long time before. If I get sent home that's a lot of time to spend in labour in the car.

I could choose a different hospital closer to me (but not very good) but then I wouldn't be able to use the MLU I initially wanted if I was to get signed off, at which point I would kick myself.

What do I do? I'm so anxious, desperately want to try a waterbirth but may not be able to as there is only one at this hospital, could cry at the idea of being stuck in the car for hours, but if I switched hospitals and they signed me off as ok for MLU I would have screwed my chances for having the one I want as I would no longer be under that trust.

What would you do? AIBU to put so much pressure on myself to want to give birth somewhere which doesn't have poor reviews?

Sorry I know that's an essay, just driving myself a bit nuts!

I wanted to give birth at my local MLU as they had pools and I wanted a water birth.

The MLU was pitched to me by my midwife as being more relaxing, I could labour in the pool, it would be chilled out, etc. Would be limited pain relief options but I wanted to labour as naturally as possible so that was great. I wanted to be mobile, birth balls, etc. Didn't want to labour on my back so MLU seemed the place to be.

The local hospital labour ward didn't seem great in comparison.

However.

My waters started leaking slowly at 37 weeks and I didn't go into labour.

Ended up at the local hospital on labour ward, flat on my back hooked up to a million different things, antibiotics to prevent infection for the baby as my waters had gone and labour hadn't started, a hormone drip through a canula to induce contractions which in turn meant that I needed a monitor around my belly 24/7 so they could monitor baby's heart, I was unable to move about, no access to a pool. Epidural was then added to the million other things I was hooked up to.

However, despite all of that, despite the fact it wasn't what I wanted, where I wanted to be or how I imagined it being, it was still the most amazing experience of my life and the care I received from Midwives, Doctors, Registrars, etc, was second to none and I'll never forget a single person who looked after me during my three day experience. If it wasn't for them, things might not have had such a happy ending and despite the hospital being bog standard with no amazing reviews, honestly, i really will never forget a single person who cared for me and I'll never forget it.

My point is, I wouldn't stress too much. If you get to use the MLU then that's amazing but if not, don't worry. Birth and labour are all totally unpredictable and you can make your birth plan and set your heart on a water birth at the MLU and if it works out then great but if not you'll be fine anyway!

I would speak to the consultant and say that once 37 wks (you’ll be full term then) have been reached you wish to be signed off from consultant care into the care of the midwife and plan to use the MLU.

Speak to your midwife and get her on board as agreeable to this.

That should give you at least 3wks possible 5wks before you deliver

@youareawizard yes but my point is that if I risk staying with this hospital in the hope that they may sign me off to the MLU, but they don't sign me off, I'm then stuck at a hospital that could be a two hour commute to my house. If I change hospitals then my chance of MLU is almost zero regardless as there are no others near me, so may end up being signed off as ok to go ML but no MLU nearby... which would you choose? Rule out MLU completely but be in an ok hospital nearby for definite, or take a chance and potentially be stuck at a hospital 2 hours away?

@MimiSunshine she's just so, so stubborn, but I can't see one reason as to why I am consultant led. I would've thought she could sign me off now as everything is fine and if she did find a complication then I would fall back under consultant care. This seems to be the norm amongst my friends anyway who have had soft markers.

Hopefully she will agree but she seems really set on me being in a hospital even though there's nothing wrong so far with me and baby...

What would happen if you just turned up, in labour, anyway?

Could you say you were out 'at a friend's house nearby' when contrsctions started and you didn't have time to go anywhere else. ..

Would you consider a home water birth?

I could choose a different hospital closer to me (but not very good) but then I wouldn't be able to use the MLU I initially wanted if I was to get signed off, at which point I would kick myself.

I would stay with your current hospital on the assumption that you will be signed off so you can use the MLU. If the sign off is refused, transfer to your closer hospital.

If you aren’t signed off or go into labour beforehand, just go to the different hospital that is closer to you. They will deal with you in the same way they would if your care had been transferred to them and it is absolutely fine for you to labour there.

Go with your nearest hospital. Even if it only has the 1 birthing pool, it is unlikely to be in use for the whole of your labour. 30% of labours are induced, ruling out MLU. Even if you get signed off for the MLU and go into spontaneous labour, as a first time Mum, you’ve got a 45% chance of being transferred out to the Consultant led unit anyway. Trust me, speaking from personal and professional experience, travelling in a car (let alone ambulance) in labour is horrendous. Go to your nearest hospital, when your partner phones up to say you’re coming in, get him to let them know you’d like the pool if possible.

Stay with your current hospital and put your foot down with the consultant and insist on being signed off. It's up to you where and how you labour, if there's no obvious risk to your or baby there's no reason to have to go to the Labour ward. Obviously if there was risk factors then I would say just follow the consultants lead, but otherwise you are better off where you would feel more comfortable

Just turn up at the MLU in full blown labour. They won't send you away. Imagine the headlines if it got into the press?

So the corresponding hospital is 30 miles away from the MLU? What would happen if there was a complication and you needed to be seen by a doctor?

The 10 minutes I spent on the car in labour was the worst 10 minutes of my life. Not a hope could I have done 2 hours.

Have you asked the consultant why they want you to go to the labour ward? If their argument centres around wellbeing of the baby and there’s a chance they could need to go to the NICU then I’d follow their advice. If they can’t give you a reason then insist on being signed off for the MLU if that’s what you want.

I was signed off at 36 weeks after a growth scan for a home birth so it is doable. It’s just if you want to wait it out that long & you can always transfer to the closer hospital as late as you want.

@cadburyegg it's about 30 miles from my house (27.5 to be precise). They are both in the same direction, so it's 19.5 miles from the MLU. No idea how they get you there...

Road travel in labour is not much fun. I got transferred from mlu to hospital after 24hrs in labour, ambulance took two hours to come then ten min trip was bumpy and scary (strapped down etc)
I'd go with closer to be honest.

You can be booked into more than one hospital.

With DD2 I was booked into two different MLUs. When the time came my first choice one was full so I went to the other one. I had only booked in there at 34 weeks so it's never too late.

As long as you book in you can make the choice on the day where you want to go.

Could you have a home birth if all is well? You can hire a pool and no travel at all.

@gigi556 not keen of the idea of a home birth. I can imagine it would be lovely but I'm quite anxious and think I'd rather be in a more clinical setting! MLU is the perfect in-between for me...

@pastabest all very well if your consultant has signed you off which I don't think mine will

I know but I was more meaning that it shouldn't matter which 'big' hospital you are under (i.e if you decide to swap to the one nearer) it shouldn't bar you from going to the MLU if it turns out you are able to right at the end.

My first choice was MLU A in NHS trust A which transfers if needed into big hospital A an hour away. I had my appointments at these two hospitals throughout my pregnancy.

I live in NHS trust B and my midwives were employed by NHS trust B. I booked into MLU B which transfers to Big Hospital B an hour away just in case MLU A was full, but other than that I had nothing to do with either of them for the entire pregnancy.

The night I went into labour MLU A was full so I went to MLU B. After the birth we were transferred to big hospital B for monitoring.

In your circumstances there is no reason why you can't book into big hospital B too in case the consultant at big hospital A doesn't sign you off for the MLU and you want to go to hospital B when you go into labour.

Contact a consultant midwife, or if there isn't one a PMA (Professional midwifery advocate) who can birth plan with you and negotiate the weird red tape you're coming up against. I'd do this by ringing the antenatal clinic and asking to make an appointment with them, or ring/email PALS and explain the frustration and stress you're experiencing. You could also contact the head of midwifery for the trust, who would be able to help you.

YANBU to plan for the birth you want - it's your right. You really shouldn't be having to negotiate and fight so much and its ridiculous you are. Is there a lead midwife for the MLU who could help?

I would also ask the consultant what your risks are and why she isn't signing you back to midwife led care? Doing this doesn't mean you can't go to the hospital if you're concerned, or change your mind, or things change in labour, or that you would ignore signs of something concerning. It's astounding!