Shit families!

[ShakeVigorously]

I'm so angry at the moment.

Last year I lost twins quite far on into pregnancy, awful time for myself, dh and our other children.

It has recently been their 1st Anniversary. Super hard day again.

AIBU in expecting my dm and mil to have at least have rung or visited us, instead of sending a text message of emojis?

Support wasn't great from them at the time, both were more concerned with their own feelings etc. But this has really hurt me again.
Neither can understand what my issue is

Nobody knows whether they should bring it up or not or do anything out of the ordinary that might mark it when you want to.

These people could just be being shit, but when it's difficult to know what to do, even non-shit people will often do nothing.

*When you might not want to.

You're so right OP. Texting isn't appropriate in situations like this and especially with silly emojis.

I'm very sorry OP. Take care of yourself.

I understand to a certain degree that some people genuinely don't know what to say, but this is our own mothers!

I have always talked about the babies, talking about them doesn't make me uncomfortable. Pretending they didn't exist does.

It must be so hard to know the appropriate thing to say but they should try. Nothing can help you both with the pain but their support/presence would bring comfort.

We lost a baby just before 12 weeks.
As soon as my mum found out she turned up with a card, flowers gave us a cuddle and literally left to give us time. It was great we knew she was there for us both.
Mil said she was to sad to discuss it when dh tired to talk to her and it was not to be spoke of again.

My thoughts are with you both OP some people are just rubbish at the emotional things. Take care

Everyone handles grief differently including your parents. I’m sorry for your loss

My daughter died a day after being born. My MIL thought it would 'cheer me up' to phone, ten days later and let me know my SIL has given birth to a 'beautiful little girl'..... I just think people have varying views on what is the right thing to do.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

It’s true that some people struggle with the emotions around such tragedies and don’t know how to act or what to say. Is it possible they aren’t aware how you feel, and are treading carefully because they’re not sure how up for visitors/talking about it you’ll be?