Upset with friend hiding

[iris11]

Hi ladies,

First time posting here as needed to vent. I can't sleep because I'm pissed off about the situation

Known a friend, R for about 6 years not bff close, but close enough to know each other's fairly well as we used to live together whilst studying and spent lots of time once we part ways texting meeting up etc. Am married since then, she's been single forever (she shares with me lots of stuff about her life dating struggles etc)

Being sympathise all these years of her situation a couple of months ago, I introduced her to my BIL (they live in different town) Nothing much has been going on despite they like each other as she shares what's been happening with me. Recently there have been bad miscommunication between the 2 of them (both of her and BIL faults) of which I helped fixing but after that, I haven't heard anything from her at all for like 3-4 weeks.

Fast forward last week, another friend texted me saying, oh you're BIL is coming to our town to visit R, are you coming too ? I was like, no I didn't know about this ? Curious but left it at that

Fast forward yesterday, my husband suddenly said that next weekend we're all together with parents and BIL are spending time together cuz R is coming to visit ? And I was like, what ?? How come she's not telling me all these ? So I confronted her like what is going on ? Usually I'm the first to know and now am the last ? I'm not about I need to know everything etc, but a bit acknowledgement of her coming to visit will be appreciated than finding these out from others.

She said to me because things are probably getting a bit serious with BIL and she wanted to keep me out of it just in case it doesn't work out, we wouldn't lose friendship. I'm struggling to understand why would that be since we're bound to be spending lot of time together if they're dating !! My husband family tends to like to do things together so I know we're going to bump into each other a lot plus she's my friend ! (Or I thought she is)

Sure I don't need or want to know the super details of her and BIL, but what's up with the reason wanting to keep me out of it ? Especially when I know her and BIL more than they both knew each other !

AIBU ?? I feel I've been mugged off.

Thanks for any replies.

They are in the first throws of lust no one else’s matters that much I doubt it’s anything more than that and if it does carry on no doubt you will hear from her more but the relationship might change as her life is

And don’t fix anymore miscommunication between them let them sort it out

Maybe between them they want to keep the relationship more to themselves which is understandable

I would just take what she says at face value.

She probably feels like your relationship may change if she becomes ‘family’ and is not sure what that might mean, so she wants to distance herself from you a little bit.

She's to keep her (new) relationship separate from her (long) friendship, probably until she better how the relationship is going by the sounds of it.

If I'm right she's doing it to protect your friendship rather than exclude you.