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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Birthday dilemma

16 replies

Calendargurl · 31/07/2018 15:04

It's my DH's 30th birthday this year and I was planning to take him to fancy hotel for the night and have his family and mine join us as a surprise for dinner in the evening.

The only weekend available is the one closest to his birthday - every other weekend that month is already booked up between a holiday, a wedding and a work commitment. But my sister and her boyfriend aren't able to join us on the night in question because they're going to a concert.

So do I:

  1. Go ahead on that night anyway without my DSis and her DP, despite them being very close to both of us? They would be very nice about it but would definitely be sad to miss out and my DH would miss them too.

  2. choose a different weekend we can all do but which will be at most 2.5 weeks from DH's actual birthday

  3. do the hotel stay that night and the dinner somewhere else on another day? Probably the most convenient option but makes the overall event less special (as it isn't all one day) and requires twice as much organising and is more expensive because no hotel discount.

  4. mystery perfect solution I haven't thought of yet??

Advise me wise MNers! Thank you!

OP posts:
Calendargurl · 31/07/2018 15:04
  1. should say at least 2.5 weeks not at most!
OP posts:
Calendargurl · 31/07/2018 15:22

Bump!

OP posts:
beyondthesky · 31/07/2018 15:24

I'd go for option 1 I think and celebrate another time with dsis as more important that parents are available.

Aprilshowersinjuly · 31/07/2018 15:24

Would he not prefer a night away with just you 2? Wink

Isthisaproblem · 31/07/2018 15:26

I would go for option 2 - 2/3/4 weeks isn’t a big deal as long as he knows it’s happening if the night is after the actual day

ScreamingValenta · 31/07/2018 15:30

I would prefer a celebration at the time rather than a couple of weeks later (but that might just be me). I would go ahead with 1 and have a low key get-together with the others on a separate occasion.

Trinity66 · 31/07/2018 15:30

Option 1, it is your sister after all rather than his plus if she was really bothered she could choose the dinner over the concert

Happygoldfinch · 31/07/2018 15:31

I'd go for number 3 and abandon the dinner completely. I would, however, order room service, champagne, maybe a French maid's outfit...

PotteringAlong · 31/07/2018 15:33

Go for option 1; it’s your sister, not his.

Whereismumhiding2 · 31/07/2018 15:35

I'd go for 1 if.there will be upwards of 8+ people there. If it was to be just 6-8 of you including your Dsis & DP, then option2. It doesn't feel the same when your birthday is so far away from party, so closer weekend is better/more about DH. You can go for a drink with Dsis and her DP another time X (or do a little meal at home for her to help celebrate)

diddl · 31/07/2018 15:38

Are you sure he'd be that bothered about your sister/anyone else there if you're staying over?

jelliebelly · 31/07/2018 15:40

How many will be there? 8 or more and I'd say option 1 - much more special close to the occasion - is sis that bothered they'd forgo the concert

trojanpony · 31/07/2018 16:18

Option 1 - it’s your sister not his. Also if she wants to come that much she could sell the tickets

MaxPepsi · 31/07/2018 16:24

I went away for my 40th.
Loosely planned weekend.
In an area I love. Told our friends if they wanted to help celebrate they could come to all or part of it, we stayed in 2 different hotels.

Can you do that?

Have the surprise of everyone being at breakfast instead??

SunnyCoco · 31/07/2018 16:24

Option 1

Bubblesblue · 31/07/2018 16:28

Option 3- then he gets to celebrate twice Grin

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