Question for Midwives, RGNs or RMNs

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Hello, name changed for this. Can I ask, if you see a patient come in (their file or in person) and you know them, do you have a duty to disclose this to your manager and would steps be taken for someone else to deal with them?
I only ask as I am pregnant and have just realised that someone from my distant past who both I and my husband do not get along with (although not seen them for about 5 years) is now a midwife as the hospital I am due to have my baby at. Although there is no big bust up and we are all grown ups and would be pleasant to each other, obviously this is not only supposed to be a special time, but also a time where I would feel very vulnerable and would prefer not to have this person there. I don’t want to actually officially ask for them not to be there as a) they haven’t done anything wrong at work and I imagine they are an excellent midwife and b) I do not want to be awkward as I know how stretch NHS staff are and that midwives are a precious resource.

I am therefore hoping someone can reassure me that the professional thing to do, would be if the midwife noticed my name in the file notes (it’s very distinctive) then they would request not to deal with me? Is this a thing or am I over hopeful?
Many thanks in advance.

Nurse here. Yes I would ask not to be involved in your care. It's not fair on you or them. If I was on and you came in I would ask the coordinator to move me.

I worked in a small village. If someone did not want to have a specific nurse, it took a lot of arranging (only 1 midwife schedule per shift). Usually the pts. opted to deliver in the next town.

I’m a midwife. There’s no duty to disclose anything to your manager.

I work in a fairly small town/city and have cared for a lot of people I know. Most I only know vaguely, like friends of friends or from the gym, etc. If it was a close friend I would ask not to look after them unless they asked me to. If it was someone I thought didn’t like me again I would ask not to look after them.

The danger is them not realising it’s you until it’s too late. At handover women aren’t always referred to by their name. On labour ward it’s foom 1, room 2, etc. Same on postnatal ward, bed 1, bed 2.

So they could have had handover before seeing you and realising and then it’s a major hassle to change so if they didn’t realise it was an issue they might not offer to.

Midwife here too.
While there is no duty to disclose, it’s not uncommon to hear a midwife ask at handover not to be allocated to a woman because of personal relationships.

In my trust, we do name women at handover eg “in room 3 bed 2 is Sally
Smith ...” so is fairly simple to note who is on the ward.
Failing that, you could always ask her to be reallocated if she does come to care for you, or pass that job onto your husband!

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am having an elective c section and this person is very professional and so I am pretty sure she will say something if she sees my name. Thanks for you advice everyone.

You know if you did have to ask for her not to be there it wouldn’t be an issue. You could just mention it when you turn up. Nobody would bat an eyelid or think any less of her or you. It’s not wrong to not want someone you personally know seeing you just about naked and vulnerable. Regardless of how well or not you get along with them.

Oh thank you Nico. I just didn’t want to cause an issue for her at work. As even though we don’t get on it’s really more to do with mutual friends and we are just in different camps if that makes sense. I 100% would not want to cause any issue for her at work. I imagine she is a wonderful midwife.

It really would not cause an issue, it's a common occurrence. Good luck.

RMN (Community)
I'd definitely speak to my line manager and ask not to see you in your circumstances .

the midwife who delivered ds1 was a friend of a friend and we had actually been out socially a few times i wasent bothered but im sure if i had i would have been allocated somone else? when i was an RMN in patient if somone was admitted that knew a nurse either the nurse or patient would move wards for the duration of the admission,