Mother and her bloody dogs!

[ManicStreetTeacher]

My mum has 3 large, pain-in-the-arse dogs. She doesn't control them well, making visits to her house slobbery and unpleasant. She uses them as an excuse to leave visits etc. early because she "has" to be home for them. Fine.

We've recently got a new puppy that she hasn't met. She wants me to bring the pup and my kids to hers to "meet her dogs". No chance. I've invited her to ours this week and she's messaged to say she'll try and fit her 3 in the car with her. I could cry.

AIBU to say no bloody chance? Part of me feels petty because it's MY puppy's turn to be in the spotlight, as such (& I feel like a dick for thinking like that) but part of me wants my mum to grow up. She knows we're in the middle of decorating and that her dogs will ruin our house and no doubt terrorise our pup. Aaagghh. She's an unreasonable, controlling woman, so any suggestions of polite-but-firm responses gratefully accepted.

Suggest meeting in a park as a neutral place is best for all dogs anyway!!
Tell her your house has wet paint!

Just tell her the dogs aren't invited. She can't possibly expect to take them everywhere she goes! (Can't imagine letting anybody in my house with one dog let alone 3).

I wouldn’t even make excuses... I’d just laugh and say the dogs aren’t invited!

Good thinking! Bet she'd hate her dogs covered in paint.
She has only one 'park' that she takes her dogs to (really just a strip of grass) & it's an hour's drive away from us. I really wish she'd be the grown-up here!

Tell her no way! Her dogs are a pack and will totally dominate/intimidate yours. Yours should feel safe in his own home, you don’t want to make him fearful, nervous, possibly aggressive to other dogs.

Careful lead walks together once yours has all its jabs. Your mother is ridiculous and clueless.

PS: if she turns up with them anyway, just refuse to let her in. Bonkers!

She uses them as an excuse to leave visits etc. early because she "has" to be home for them.

How long will she leave them for before she goes home?

Olivia - a couple of hours, tops. She spends longer travelling here and back than she does in our house, which I'm definitely not complaining about. I'm currently ignoring her message containing this suggestion.

Agree with what pps have said- meeting new dogs should always be done on neutral territory anyway, so your mum shouldn't be taking her dogs to your puppy's home. (And I say that as an owner of big dogs and general dog lover!)

If they're large dogs then say they can't meet until your pup is older. And they can't invade his territory.

For a moment I thought you were not sister posting. We've just been talking today about our mum and her bloody dogs!

I have nothing helpful to add I can just say mine is the same.

She always has to rush home to get their dinner ready, it's just rice,veg and meat not a fucking ten course banquet! She didn't ever worry about rushing back to feed me when I was at home

If she tells me one more tale about what the dogs have done I swear I'll scream.

You're all absolutely right. Thank you for replying. I worried I was being a cow and should just be embracing my "who cares about the chaos/mess" side. But my poor wee pup will be overwhelmed by this nonsense. My friend/neighbour posted on my fb about wanting to bring his (small, very obedient) dogs to meet mine - she's obviously read this and thinks it's open season. (Also, he hasn't visited, it's just one of those 'we must meet up' chats that I spend my life having).

Just tell her no it's not suitable. If she moans keep repeating no. Big fat no !
Your pup needs time to settle in its home, without being invaded by 3 big dogs.

Sickoffamilydrama - I hear ya! That's my life! She gives much more of a shit about them than she ever did about me. They're allowed to do exactly as they please, including jumping and slobbering on me & the kids. I avoid going to her house as much as possible as a result. I've never welcomed her dogs here and she's never brought them (oh, apart from at Christmas and at one kid's birthday party when various dogs were pups and pissed everywhere in my house...)

If the puppy hasn't had his 3rd lot of jabs then he can't be in contact with other dogs anyway. You could always claim he hasn't, even if he has.

You could kill 4 birds with one stone and be so offensive about it she dosent come again.

Yes, he's had all of his jabs and she knows that (wish I'd been quicker off the mark when that was one of her first questions to me!)

Tell her you're waiting on titre test results or that the kennel cough vaccine means he's contagious for now.
Or just tell her to sod off!!

Hehe - this is why I like mumsnet! Great replies!

Just tell her you are decorating and your dog isn't socialised yet and you think it'd be a bit much for her dogs to be expected to wait in the garden/her car for that long. Say it in such a tone that suggests them coming in the house is such a stupid idea no one would ever suggest it.

Watch how you word meeting in the park btw, I had this with MIL who after a 10 minute walk in the park decided the dogs were now best friends and I couldn't get rid of her for the rest of the day. My dog is a very laid back old dog, hers is young and rather like tigger on speed, every visit has ended in my dog watching hers for a minute, huffing and stomping off upstairs to sleep under the bed til they leave.