to tell DD1 she cannot have yet another cuddle because I have jobs to do?

[SouthEastLondonMummy]

My DD1 is very affectionate. Which is lovely. But often she will start whining and whingeing and asking for cuddles when I am trying to get stuff done. I give her a cuddle, then say right, I need to do X now, and often she starts yelling and acts all hurt and rejected. I think it is a form of emotional blackmail. Do you think so too? Or am I a mean mummy? She is 2.10yrs. Her little sis is 5 months.

No, I get this to from my DD. She's 6 now but very demanding of adult attention. Whether it's cuddles or watching her skip rope for the 57th time today. It can be hard to find that balance.

Keep on doing what you are doing. There are jobs which have to be done. She is jealous of the jobs as they are taking your attention away from her.( there is also the little one so she will be doing all she can to get your attention) Be consistent. Good luck!

unless of course she wants a cuddle and you are on mnet, I think a cuddle would come first then!

attention seeking not emotional blackmail.
It is nice to get cuddles, especially when you have a little sister to 'compete' with. Can she come and "help" you with the stuff you have to get done?

It is a bit of emotional blackmail, related, I'm sure, to having a new baby. But you do need to maintain clear limits - children thrive on knowing that there are boundaries and that you will keep to them - while at the same time not making her feel rejected.

Do you call her for a cuddle too? Or only stop to cuddle her when she demands one?

I do this all the time with ds. What else can you do? I can't cuddle him all the time or I'd get nothing done! I don't think it's mean tbh, just another life lesson!? You can't get attention all the time & whining won't get you anywhere! I'm not nasty honest I do give him lots of attention & cuddles

I rope DD1 in to help. THEN she can have a cuddle. 'Help Mummy turn on the washing machine' and then there'll be a cuddle. Help Mummy tidy and then there'll be a cuddle.

Of course, I cuddle her at other times, but when she is being particularly needy and there's stuff to be done, it works!

I try not to give cuddles as 'payment', but to give them spontaneously. Loving the child does not relate to what they do, they don't need to earn the cuddle IMO.

my dd1 is almost 2.9 and i have dd2 who is almost 5 months (v.similar to you as i am also in south east ) and dd1 seems to continuly ask for cuddles, but it is ainly for attention si she gets a quick cuddle then I finish whatever I was doing then she'll either get big cuddle or I'll try and play with her for a bit (always easier said than done)

excuse typos dd2 asleep on me at mo and dd1 sitting on other leg

In an ideal world, yes, PC, but I find this is better than jsut turning her away when I really need to get something done.

Dd2 has done this since she was capable of climbing onto my lap and even now, at 11yo, if I settle down to do something she makes a bee line for me. As she's my youngest I try to make the most of having someone who still adores me so much but sometimes I do just say no, for my own sanity.

My 2.9 year old is exactly the same. I give the cuddle and then put him down and say that I've got to finish what I was doing. He kicks off but what can you do? He's heavy and I can't carry him round all day! I've got a 4 and 6 yr old too so it's just not practical!

I don't see what Expat describes as making her "earn" the cuddle - it's just she can have it sooner if she helps out.

I come from very cuddly family - my mum always allowed us cuddles for as long as we wanted, we finished the cuddle not her. We were also brought up to help her with the housework so this is probably how she got around the need for attention and getting things done.

I do give her cuddles unprompted, I should add. I asked her if she wanted a hug this morning and she said "nah".

I love cuddling my daughter (almost 4yrs)sometimes she likes it, other times not. God she smell so nice though, I wonder whether she will always smell that nice? (I live in S.E.London too

oops missed a bracket)

i dont think a 2 year old is capable of emotional blackmail? are they? attention seeking? defo My wee girl is very cuddly and i love that, my house is a tip though so im not a good person to ask.

I don't think asking for cuddles is emotional blackmail, I think it is looking for love and attention from the most important person in her life. She needs your affection, as much of it as you can give her, but obviously you do need to get stuff done as well. It might help her if you have a routine so she knows what to expect, or just keep letting her know what's happening as you go along - "I will do these dishes then we will sit down and have a cuddle for 5 mins. Then I need to change your sister's nappy, and we can all play for a bit before I hang up the washing."

etc

My ds age 13 also does this, so it is not confined to little ones!

He always does it when I am stressed or harrassed.

Unfortunately he doesn't always smell nice.. although he did at 4

Yes, they have the priorities right I think. After all cuddling is much nicer than cleaning the floor. All mine do this, but most often they want to distract me so I can watch yet another extraordinary feat they have performed.
DS2 with a tennis racquet and ball: LOOK LOOK LOOK at this. Everytime I hit it up it goes up and then comes down and I can hit it again. LOOK LOOK IS AMAZING.

Oh dear, have returned to this thread feeling sentimental after too many pinot grigios on rare night out with friend, and I am definitely a mean mummy. Should I wake up DD1 and give her a cuddle?