to find it uncomfortable when people stare at my bump?

[allbraided]

I'm 27 weeks pregnant, and have a fairly substantial bump. I feel extremely comfortable around people I don't know, and actually feel more body confident than usual around my DP and when walking down the street.

I have no idea why, but when I am around people I know (colleagues especially), I feel really uncomfortable. I see their eyes divert to my bump, and have had conversations with people where they barely make eye contact because they're looking at my belly (one woman in particular).

AIBU to find this uncomfortable? I've never been a body confident person and feel really insecure when I'm at work.

YANBU

don't take it personally or think there's something about your bump that is making them do it, people just seem to lose all sense when someone is pregnant.i actually ended up saying to a colleague 'I would actually rather you stare at my than my bump when talking to me'

*boobs

It could be that you are more used to both strangers and your DP interacting with your physical form primarily, while work colleagues should really be focusing elsewhere..like on the work or you as a thinking entity.

I also find it much harder to deal with when work colleagues say something about my appearance than any other category.

The best thing to do is to gently remind them that they shouldn't be focusing on your body, but on the work. A gentle, 'hello, I'm up here' could help...and if it doesn't a more stern 'I would prefer you not stare at my body' should do the job. If even that doesn't work then refer the issue to your manager. It isn't okay for people to make you feel uncomfortable at work once you have let them know its an issue.

@M3lon to be fair, I haven't let anyone know it's an issue. I worry then that people will be scared to even ask me a question if I bring it up. Part of me is massively socially anxious too so admittedly much is this is an issue I have created myself due to being too shy to say anything.

Maybe it's because they know you have had sex!!

There's something beautiful about a pregnant bump. I'm sure people are just admiring it OP. I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable though. At least they aren't touching it! I used to get annoyed by people doing that.

@GreatDuckCookery I've only had one person touch my bump and it was a colleague! She said 'can I touch it' and before I had a chance she had her hands on me. I like her. I went along with it. Should've probably told her no but in the moment it didn't bother me because we are quite close. If it was a stranger I would've been freaked out by it.

@Aprilshowersinjuly haha! Quite possibly. I'm happy to admit to that

Not something I'd have wasted more than 2 seconds worrying about, in all honesty.

@Dieu I wish I was more like you in that case! Severe GAD and social anxiety makes you worry hugely disproportionately about the most trivial of things. It is debilitating at times...

dieu as long as you are the same person as the OP, then that's very useful to know!

Beck in the real world, I think you could try and talk to someone you trust more at work about it in passing...like 'I've been finding it a bit difficult that people are staring at me'. Then the message might get around that you are having issues with their behaviour without you having to raise it with individuals so much.

April, I thought that too!

Sorry if I sounded unsympathetic, but it's not something I'd have thought twice about. Appreciate we're all different though!
I'm just concerned about how you'll feel when the baby comes along, if you're already getting stressed by people looking at your bump.
And I mean that kindly

I felt this and it now I'm not pregnant it's so much nicer to go out and not feel like a zoo animal! But I do feel uncomfortable because people instead stare at my baby in the pushchair, want to ask questions, even ask to hold. I don't want to talk to strangers about how I'm coping or how my birth was.

@Dieu oh none taken. This is more of a body confidence issue for me. An anxiety thing. It's something I likely will suffer with after baby is born to be honest. It's affected every aspect of my life.

You didn't seem unsympathetic and I genuinely do with I was more uncaring when it came to trivial issues such as this. You really don't need to be concerned for me though, whatever happens I'll be just fine when baby comes along

I'm sure you will! You sound lovely, and am sure will be a great mum.
And for what it's worth, I am so unbelievably far from being body confident ... in fact, pregnancy was the only time I wasn't self conscious of my fat tum!
All the very best x

dieu thank you! That's a lovely thing to say. Haha! Great not having to hold your belly in isn't it

I've taken to doing the classic pregnant tummy stroke , I think so people know I'm pregnant not just fat (although I'd say half my weight gain is pregnancy, the other half cheese)... Which is how I feel when people look at me differently than pre pregnancy. I REALLY don't like people touching me, and ask them not to. I am maybe a bit upfront about it and just say, I'm not really a touchy feely person, if they persist I'll tell them I'm not an animal to be petted

@FASH84 it's bizarre isn't it. I love to rub my belly when baby kicks. I've heard people say it's annoying when they see people rubbing their belly in public but I couldn't really care. You only get to be pregnant for 9 months! It's the staring I don't like. Women are a lot worse than blokes (in my experience anyway!) - I guess it's a nice thing but it makes me feel like they're not listening.

Me too op, but maybe because i'm not pregnant!

@Myheartbelongsto

I was only playing allbraided :)