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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how to reply to this message?

27 replies

DailyMailGoAway · 29/07/2018 23:21

I went to a close friend’s (Friend A) party a few days ago.

I had helped to organise this with a few other friends of Friend A, most of whom I didn’t know very well.

One of the people in this group was Friend B, who I'd only met once before the party (we met for the first time in order to organise the party). B was meant to be the main organiser of the party but didn’t organise anything in the end. The others organised it with help from me. B was also spiteful to me and the others when we first met to organise the party.

After the party finished, B went back to the accommodation they were sharing with me and some other friends of Friend A. Friend A was not staying in the same accommodation.

B had drunk quite a lot at the party, and maybe because of this or maybe not, B suddenly started behaving very erratically at the accommodation.

I don’t want to go into details, although it was very frightening to experience. B was a danger to themselves although not to others. The behaviour continued for a long time and to the point where an ambulance was sent out for B. B was then taken to a nearby hospital, where they stayed overnight. Neither I or the others got much sleep as B was taken to hospital around 3am, and we were up early to clear up after the party.

I hadn’t heard from B until just now. B’s now written a message addressed to me and the other friends (although not to Friend A - A doesn’t know about what happened yet).

In the message, B has apologised for their behaviour and thanked us for looking for them?

I’m not sure if I should reply or not. I’m not likely to see B again but I would like to reply out of courtesy and civility and just to let B know I’m glad they’re okay.

Do you have any advice on how I should phrase the reply please? I’m a bit stuck.

Thanks for your help.

OP posts:
Original poster
DailyMailGoAway · 29/07/2018 23:22

Sorry - I didn’t mean to put a question mark in the message! Blush I meant to put a full stop instead Blush

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 29/07/2018 23:24

I'd say I'm glad you're ok. It was all quite hideous so I hope you can get some help so it doesn't happen again.

ShesABelter · 29/07/2018 23:25

I'd just reply saying "you are welcome, I hope you are recovering well, take care."

She's obviously had alot going on internally.

MarthasGinYard · 29/07/2018 23:25

Thanks for letting me know

Take care of yourself

centerparcs · 29/07/2018 23:26

Glad to hear you are ok Confused

Ceebs85 · 29/07/2018 23:27

Glad you're ok. Hope you're getting some help.

KC225 · 29/07/2018 23:29

Agree with Marthasginyard short and to the point. Acknowledges their mail, so polite but it does open up a conversation with someone you don't wish to engage with further

Original poster
DailyMailGoAway · 29/07/2018 23:42

Thanks so much for your replies, everyone.

I just wanted to ask as I wasn’t quite sure how to phrase the reply.

OP posts:
Mookatron · 29/07/2018 23:53

I'd just say, 'don't worry. Glad you're feeling better.' or something. Don't ask if she IS feeling better though or she might reply and you'll have to think of another reply!

grumpy4squash · 30/07/2018 00:07

What did B do to lead to a hospital admission?

gamerchick · 30/07/2018 00:11

I dunno it depends on what they've done. Do you want further contact?

gamerchick · 30/07/2018 00:13

Although having a re read of your post I personally wouldn't acknowledge the message at all.

LighthouseSouth · 30/07/2018 00:26

As you only met her once, I don't think you should feel obliged to reply.

I suspect the message is intended to set up a dialogue. Do you want that?

MarzipanFace · 30/07/2018 00:39

What the others say. Just ' I hope you are feeling better now.'

PurdysChocolate · 30/07/2018 00:40

I think it would be fine to not reply at all but if you do want to say something keep it brief, like "Glad to hear you are feeling better. Take care."

MyOtherProfile · 30/07/2018 00:42

I'd just say, 'don't worry. Glad you're feeling better.' or something.

I wouldn't say don't worry. That's like offering absolution and actually B needs to know it was crap and not don't again / get help to make sure they don't do it again.

Reaa · 30/07/2018 00:48

No thanks needed, we just did what we thought was the right thing, hope you're ok now.

BuntyII · 30/07/2018 00:54

Yes what @Reaa said

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/07/2018 01:17

So MOB went off on one at the hen night? Just a guess Wink

I think that given that she has apologised for her behaviour on the night, but not for her behaviour before htat, I would acknowledge it with "No problem, thanks for letting me know".

ILikeyourHairyHands · 30/07/2018 01:43

I don't think B needs to know. She undoubtedly already knows.

A simple 'No worries' would suffice.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 30/07/2018 01:46

I have to ask though, was an ambulance necessary?

What was she doing?

I've been in many situations where 'erratic' behaviour has been occurring. I've not yet needed to call an ambulance.

Could you not have handled it?

ILikeyourHairyHands · 30/07/2018 01:49

And you mention B being 'spiteful, hmm.

Send what you want. You clearly don't like her.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 30/07/2018 02:34

We only did what was necessary to keep you safe. It’s good that you’re ok and I hope you get the help you need. Regards

Acknowledges their thanks, but puts it in the ‘you coukd have been anyone’ category, definitely not ‘friends’ category and discourages further contact.

BrutusMcDogface · 30/07/2018 02:52

She's probably feeling terrible right now, so a friendly "don't worry, hope you're ok now" would be good.

Bloodybridget · 30/07/2018 02:55

Hairyhands why should OP like B? And why are you querying them sending for an ambulance and asking why they couldn't handle it themselves?