Could you ever forgive?

[stupidornot]

Namechanged and Posting here for traffic and I'm prepared to be told I was unreasonable.

I called the police about DM, looking for advice as she had taken property from my locked house without my permission and then was refusing to allow me access to it and we never seem to be able to have a sensible conversation to reach a solution-I tried and it ended up in a huge argument. (There's a huge back story but it's outing)

Police advised that it could be classed as burglary if there was no dispute about ownership but I made it clear I didn't want to pursue this. They suggested that they'd have a word with her in the hope that it could get sorted...I agreed thinking that perhaps she might listen to someone independent and perhaps we could come to a compromise.

DM and DSF are now convinced that I wanted her arrested and say DM has been given a caution. They want nothing to do with me and DM said that I am dead and buried to her.

I've confirmed with the police that she has not been given a caution but they may have given her some paperwork of a risk assessment as part of standard procedure.

AIBU to want them to be able to forgive me in time and understand why I did what I did? If I was your DD would you be able to forgive me?

Have you got your property back and why did you phone the police if you didn’t want them to pursue it even though you say you had a clear cut case?

I imagine she’s absolutely livid, was scared by police involvement and thinks you’ve gone way overboard so for now I’d leave it and let the dust settle.

If she doesn’t think she did anything wrong then I doubt she’ll forgive you but that’ll depend on what your relationship was like beforehand.

Why did she steal it?

Well nothing actually happened to her but she may have been given a scare by the police? How long ago did this happen? Had your DM actually taken your property in the end?

I'm assuming the police thing was the culmination in a huge argument between the pair of you (it would clearly be insane to jump to the police before asking her where your property was and if you were on good terms you would be likely to believe whatever she then told you). Without knowing what happened it's difficult to know whether you were justified in calling the police or not. Even if you weren't I would always forgive my DD but may need time to let the dust settle. I imagine in reality it will also depend massively on what the back story is to all of this.....

It was property that I had stored at hers for years (shared hobby) and she'd been allowed to use.

Our relationship has been very rocky for a long time, and we had an argument a while back where she said she never wanted to see me again so I removed my stuff from hers and locked it away at home (she has a key to mine for emergencies).

She claims she is using the property and therefore I cannot have it though she could've used it once I had done what I wanted to with it-if she had asked when we were on speaking terms I would've given it to her to use.

I purchased the property but she is now claiming she has a right to it despite admitting previously that I had bought it.

Yes I explained to her why I wanted it and asked her to get it but she has locked it away and point blank refused.