To ask when you had a proper sex ed chat

[Fleuried]

Daughter is 8 and we always answer her questions honestly and provide information to her.

From a young age we've taught her the importance of consent and different types of healthy relationships etc

She doesn't seem to have cottoned onto the fact that male and female bodies are different or that my body looks different to hers. My sister and her teacher recently had babies and she knew the babies were in their tummies but had no interest in how they got there etc although I did try to casually start that chat eg "do you know how the babies got there? but she really wasn't intetested.

I read on here about 4 year olds who probably know more about reproduction than I do. I think it's important we do it before school (or her friends!) but equally I don't want to push it onto her if she doesn't want to know right now.

So when did you start sex ed at home? Was it initiated by you or your kid/s? If it was you what made you do it when you did?

I have had lots of talks with my boys, all initiated by them. Their cousin was born when they were 7 and 9 and that was when they wanted to know how babies both got in to and out of a mums tummy. I told them pretty honestly. They had a bit of a giggle but were satisfied with my answer.

They are older now and we have had other chats and I have a little laugh and acknowledge that it's a bit awkward to talk about but it is good that they come to me with their questions.

So in my experience there is no best time. I would just keep things open and let her come to you.

My D.C. were 5 yo when the asked asked “the” question.

Prior to that they’d asked how babies got out and discussed periods and proper names for boys and girls body parts.

Our rule is that we give an honest (age appropriate) answer to any question asked.

They are ten years old now and we’ve been completely guided by their questions.

They aren’t embarrassed to discuss anything with us and are far more open that I ever was with my own parents.

They are pretty well educated about their own bodies and how they work.

I can't remember ever having the 'talk' tbh

I started really early as soon as they were at all curious and also read them a picture book about it when they were wee. The earlier you start the less weird or awkward the conversation

I had a trip to a bookshop
With DS1 and we chose a growing up book together. I planned to read it with him but didn't realise he spent the journey reading from cover to cover!! He had questions, I answered. Think he was about 8

I've done both. I always answer their questions with an honest (but sometimes edited answer).
I've also had a chat about periods etc. That was a specific chat as although my dds know about periods (from being in a public toilet with me) I wanted to make it clear.
My dd who is 8 had heard quite a few disturbing things from boys in her class (variations of oral sex, 'importance' of being sexy!!) last year but that didn't come to light until she saw a bull on a cow in a field!
I think it's important to do both and not assume the conversations aren't happening even if they aren't questioning.

Mine started to ask questions earlier this year, they're 7. I got a book off amazon called 'it's so amazing', it is recommended for this age and I've found it very good. I read it to them and they read it themselves.

No talk, just talk about it from a year old onwards. Obviously nothing graphic but knows that female and male bodies are different, know where babies come out of, talk about consent in basic ways, knows very basically about sex from young. I would have hated to do the whole sex talk and we have lots of pregnant friends and family.

I provided an age appropriate book when DS was little, and answer questions openly as they come up. Now he’s 15, we watch TV together and discuss situations that arise on there in relation to consent, respect in relationships, what “bad” relationships look like, etc...

I didn't. I told them the basics from a young age (reception year) and added to it as I remembered / was appropriate. I didn't wait for them to ask as it's too important for that.
DS has just ended primary school and was chuffed that he knew all the sex ed and puberty lesson before the teachers had to go through it.

Thanks all. I'll be a bit more assertive about it then.

I'm not embarrassed about it (the technical but is just science and we've been teaching her the rest since she was born) but, like all learning, if she wasn't interested I didn't want to force it.

*technical bit

At 3 we started to talk about were babies come from ect then just kept going

Talking a lot to ds 18 about what emotional value girls put on sex and how it effects them

When we were getting out of the car at Brent Cross, DD (8 at the time) asked what happened in sex. DH was going to defer answering, but decided to give a brief explanation of the process. She said 'Yuck!' and that was it really.

She's just had SRE at school which sounds like it was very well done. I used the timing to briefly talk to her about porn, as I'd been looking at some parent resources about it. Also she's 10 now and sad to say, she's coming to the age when she could come across it or be shown it. I asked her if she knew what porn was, she said no; I explained what it was and interestingly she said she had heard friends talking about 'that kind of thing'. I say interesting, as they evidently hadn't used the word 'porn', but I can imagine them discussing that they'd heard their cousin's friend's sister saw a website where someone was doing X or Y, gross! So I told her it was not real, it was not real sex and that if she sees anything that worries or upsets her, to talk to us about it. My main worry at this stage is she might see something she doesn't understand and be scared or upset by it, and that it could make her frightened of sex (I have heard of young girls who are quite traumatised by seeing porn, not even hard core, because they think the woman is being hurt and it looks horrible and they think they'll 'have to do it')