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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To just want somewhere to live that isn't the street?

56 replies

StressedD · 29/07/2018 22:19

My parents worked hard to have their own home, in 2009, due to their worsening health, alongside a couple of other bills and housekeeping money, I started paying the monthly mortgage payment on the house as I was still at home and, with rents in my home city being expensive, I couldn't afford to move out. My mum sadly passed away in 2012 from lung cancer, by which time I was paying half the bills due to Mum's illness and Dad's worsening health forcing him to cut down to part time hours. By the following year, Dad had been forced to retire after a number of falls at work which he didn't tell me about as he didn't want me worrying about him.He insisted on still paying the water and putting something towards the food. As his health continued to worsen, he had carers come in while I was at work who helped him have a shower in the morning and sorted his breakfast, I would come home during my lunch break to make him a sandwich and then the carers would come back to give him his tea before I got home. Despite the exhaustion caused by Dad refusing to go to bed earlier than 3AM meaning I often got no more than 3-4 hours sleep a night, I managed to last until he went into hospital after another fall in late 2014. At this point, Dad decided to go into a care home, recognizing that I wouldn't be able to cope much longer before my health gave way. I was still living at home and the council informed me that the house would need to be sold to pay for his care as he had no other assets. His pensions would cover so much, but the rest would be charged against the property. As I already knew I couldn't afford to rent privately, I signed up for housing. I was told that, despite what the council were telling me, I had somewhere to live and that, while it would need to be sold, the council couldn't force me out and so I wouldn't be a priority for somewhere to live.
Sadly, in February, Dad passed away. The council reiterated that I would need to sell the house. I asked for a couple of years as, I'm going through uni and, while between my new job (I lost my previous job due to the stress caused by being a carer for dad while trying to work full time) and the maintenance loan, I'm just managing to pay the bills each month, I don't have much left, so can't afford to move out. I was told this was fine. I contacted the HA to find out whether my priority could be changed and was given a vague answer about how, despite everything, I wasn't a priority. I decided to try and concentrate on my exams for uni. Recently, I was contacted by the council again, the house needs to be sold to pay the costs. I explained my situation and was told that it wasn't their problem and I had agreed to selling the house when Dad went into care. I asked what I was supposed to do about somewhere to live as I don't have enough to pay rent privately and the HA don't consider me a priority. I was told to stop being awkward and just get on with selling the house. I don't even have the money to put the house into my name so I can sell it.
I know a lot of people will say this is about inheritance. It isn't. I just want somewhere to live that isn't the street. The HA won't change my priority, the council are refusing to set up a meeting to give me clarity about how much exactly is against the house and so I can explain that, once I finish uni, I am happy to sell the house, I just want some stability while I'm studying, so I can concentrate on getting the best result I can.
Is it really so bad to just want somewhere to live?

OP posts:

Giraffesandllamas · 02/08/2018 22:50

Keep your dog. Some people have no concept of having a pet.

pennycarbonara · 02/08/2018 22:51

Have you actually checked if the uni have any emergency accommodation on offer for students who've become homeless?

It is a tricky time of year as a lot of it may be let for conferences and tourists, but some universities do have this.

You should go and see your student union advice service. They probably won't be that busy over the summer and they will have seen plenty of homeless students before

Domino20 · 02/08/2018 22:59

Why not rent out rooms to other uni students and pay off the debt from that income? You will need a definitive answer as to what you owe in care fees though.

LittleOwl153 · 02/08/2018 23:08

If there is a charge in the house then I would have thought it would be listed at the land registry.

Gazelda · 02/08/2018 23:08

I echo previous posters' advice to speak with Shelter. They are brilliant at working with you to establish your rights and responsibilities, while ensuring you have adequate accommodation to meet your needs.
They should be able to help get the council to give you a £figure. Without this, you are working blind.

Jamiefraserskilt · 02/08/2018 23:42

So the council that want to make you homeless will have to house you? I would be back onto them demanding an invoice for charges. Then onto estate agent 're valuation, then into mortgage lender 're the outstanding amount so you can work out if there is any equity left in the house. Sell, take the equity and set up in your own place. Presumably the estate went to you so the house would be yours but deeds need changing so it can be sold or another payment method is found.

crrrzy · 03/08/2018 00:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

pennycarbonara · 03/08/2018 00:20

Students can't generally get mortgages.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 03/08/2018 00:34

Have you actually spoken to the uni though? The uni I went to was so helpful, and wouldn’t have thought twice about helping out a student who may have become homeless regardless of what year you’re in. Also the dog thing, finding somewhere to rent if you do get the money will be incredibly hard with a dog and it’s another quite expensive mouth to feed.

Belleende · 03/08/2018 07:01

Speak to your uni welfare office asap. They have hardship grants for precisely this type of scenario, it can be in four figures so enough for a deposit. They are also likely to own substantial property in the area besides halls. If you do need to move out, they will be your best bet for help

ivykaty44 · 03/08/2018 07:10

Domino20 has an excellent suggestion
Rent the rooms out and start paying back the money owed. You can take students or homeless on HB

serbska · 03/08/2018 07:12

Great suggestion!

Assuming it’s at least a two bed you could get two students in for September (common to use the lounge as a bedroom in house shares) and get yourself back on a better financial position.

needyourlovingtouch · 03/08/2018 13:22

How frustrating that when OP started paying the mortgage, her name wasn't put onto the deeds.

missbattenburg · 03/08/2018 13:28

Keep your dog. Some people have no concept of having a pet.

This.

Seriously, the OP has lost both parents in a short space of time and is maybe going to lose their home as well.

For sure not having a dog may increase housing options but telling them to rethink priorities seems especially harsh. I could well understand how keeping hold of a much cherished pet through all this is critical to maintaining any sense of mental wellbeing.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 03/08/2018 13:34

If you would rather live on the streets than rehome a dog then more fool you!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/08/2018 14:33

OP I would also
Consider keeping the house , and using the rent to cover fees and charges

Hang tight . I am
So so sorry for your losses and I can imagine how overwhelming this is

But you can work around this

One way or another

crazycatgal · 03/08/2018 16:40

There's no need to be nasty to the OP about her dog. A lot of people see their pets as a member of the family and OP has already lost her parents.

LakieLady · 03/08/2018 16:48

Could you rent a room to another student and use the income to pay off the care home bill?

HelenaDove · 03/08/2018 16:51

OP should keep her dog. Its a beloved pet FGS

"Council want to make me homeless and say im not priority for housing after my parents have died"

Im sure a journo could come up with a better even snappier headline.

bumblingbovine49 · 03/08/2018 16:53

Please also let the university know about your circumstances. Their policy on mitigating circumstances will be in their website. That way if you find find that your circumstances are affecting your studies/results you will know what to do to apply for consideration of these circumstances to be taken into account and won't miss any deadlines.

I think the council are just trying their luck and hoping they can bully you into leaving before you need to. Do ask for advice from Shelter as suggested. I am so sorry you are having to go through the this.

CheshireChat · 03/08/2018 17:18

Your uni might offer housing support, as in advice, the law department tackles this and they tend to be quite good as it's an issue that often crops up for students, though admittedly your situation is perhaps more unusual.

ChotaPeg · 03/08/2018 18:59

Just to re-iterate...
...you really would benefit from looking into the rules around Property Disregards... (see the link in my earlier post)
(i.e. whether the council can take the property into consideration when establishing your lovely Dad's 'means' to contribute towards the cost of his residential accommodation at the point the decision was made to deliver his care in this way. Key here is whether the Local Authority recommended this option based on an assessment of his needs (and yours as a carer, taking the impact on your health into consideration)).
...there are rules around the property being disregarded as an 'asset' for calculating 'means' in situations where a family member lives in the property as their sole residence and has been providing care...

... evidence that you were paying the mortgage and bills will strengthen your case...

Shelter's legal team should help you with exploring whether this is applicable to your circumstances.

x

MissCharleyP · 03/08/2018 19:23

Surely this isn’t right? If a house is someone’s main residence (as with the OP) then it can’t be sold for care costs. My dad had someone who worked for him who lived with his dad, dad went into a home but the council had to cover the cost as they aren’t allowed to make someone homeless to force a sale to pay care costs.

Original poster

StressedD · 07/08/2018 16:34

I have received a response from the council following my complaint. The response also included the elusive figure of what is owed against the property and a promise of setting up a meeting to discuss the way forward. I have responded with my availability and am awaiting a further response.
Thanks to all for suggestions about letting rooms. I will put it forward at the meeting and, providing no objections (and I can't see why they would as it would be paying off what is owed) will go ahead with letting the spare bedroom and front lounge. I would let the back lounge, but it's the cut through for the kitchen. I'll also reiterate at the meeting that, providing everything goes well, I'll finish university in 2020 and I'm perfectly happy to sell the house at that point and pay off any remaining balance from the sale of the house.
I have a meeting set up with uni next week, so will update after the meeting or if anything changes before then.

OP posts:

endofthelinefinally · 07/08/2018 16:49

I agree with everyone advising you to contact your students' union, shelter and your mp. I would also suggest you speak to Age UK because they know the law around care fees and property.
You must keep copies of every piece of correspondence to and from the council and a diary summary of every phone call. Record the name and position of everyone you speak to. Take someone with you to any meetings and take detailed notes.
Follow up phone calls and meetings with a brief email summary.
I didnt see whether your parents left wills, but this could be important.
Also it is important that you have written proof that you paid the mortgage.
Do not sell the house if you can possibly avoid it. There are other ways to pay off debts.
I am so sorry for your loss.
It is hard to lose both your parents at a young age.

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