Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at school talent show?

52 replies

upsideup · 29/07/2018 22:01

The talent show was a few days ago but I didn't have time to post about it. DS1 has just finished Y4 and has never done very well at school, most of the time hes falling behind and his behaviour isn't always as good as it should be, definitely not the teachers favourite, understandably. He is however a really talented dancer/gymnast, for the talent show he choreographed his own dance. He was really good, lots really impressive tricks for an 8 year old, the other kids and parents were cheering throughout his performance, there lots of gasps when he was doing his tricks. He didn't place though which of course shouldn't matter but he deserved to get an award.

Instead first place was a group of 4 girls dancing to a routine they copied online, every few seconds one of them messed up and they all started laughing, been allowed to stay it and practice at lunch everyday this week, were then allowed to preform it to the whole class because they worked so hard giving up they're lunch. They're well known at being the teachers favourites. 2nd place two kids singing together, again both top of the class, both help out at everything and so do their parents, they was good but it wasn't great.

I have nothing against these children and they are mostly all lovely, but they weren't talented in what they were doing. 3rd place, really clever boy, he obviously wasn't actually a dancer but hes made his own routine with lots of robot moves and it was actually really funny and enjoyable to watch so he deserved to be up there, he was way better than first and second place anyway.

It wasn't just DS I'm upset for and deserved to place, they're were lots of other kids who weren't the teachers favourites but preformed something they were talented at and people were actually impressed with what they had done. One girl, really shy and I think pretty middle of the class at everything so probably normally ignored sang, she was really nervous but she was clearly talented, she got a proper applause and she deserved to be noticed but wasnt.

So AIBU to think if the school decides to host a talents show where the kids are judged that it should actually be judged on talent rather than than who is well behaved, clever and most liked by the teachers?
I think the headteacher seemed to notice and not be impressed by this so I hope they got spoken to.

OP posts:
Misericord · 29/07/2018 22:12

Who judged?

Original poster
upsideup · 29/07/2018 22:15

The teachers of both Y4 classes and a TA

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 29/07/2018 22:17

To be honest op. You find the winners are already picked out. Usually teachers children or one of parents is on the PTA.
I know that might not be a popular view bit It's true, IME

LockedOutOfMN · 29/07/2018 22:18

If your own son was in it I have to say that if you complain or say something it will be dismissed as sour grapes. It's not right and your point sounds perfectly valid but I have seen this happen before. You have to hope that the head and others who come across as impartial feel the same way and speak up, and are listened to and heeded.

I am a teacher and a parent at our school made what I thought was an entirely valid comment (not even complaint), very politely, just once, in a very long and positive email praising loads of things about the school, and when I forwarded it to the Head and Deputy Head, one replied "well it's coz her son didn't get a prize" and the other "some people just don't get in the spirit". I don't even think they had properly read what she had written. They couldn't see past the fact that she had a personal vested interest.

Echobelly · 29/07/2018 22:22

Yeah, it's a difficult one. One child at our kids' school was picked out to sing all the verses of a song solo with the choir. DD felt a bit annoyed as she wanted a shot, but only this child got them - they were good, but as my MIL pointed out when she heard the performance, with so many verses they really could have split them between a couple of kids, and yes, DD is good enough. But we know it'd just come over as sour grapes if you said anything. DH encouraged DD to say to music teacher that she wanted to sing solo and prepare a piece for it, so it wasn't coming from us, but she didn't pluck up the courage and now she (I wonder if deliberately) 'forgot' to remind me about the form for joining the chamber choir for next year.

Ohyesiam · 29/07/2018 22:22

At my sons school the acts are voted on by everyone.
Could you go to the head and tell her there has been lots of dark mutterings( you don’t have to say it’s all from youWink) and that a voting system might be ..... fun. Emphasise getting the kids more involved. And offer to organise it.

Ohyesiam · 29/07/2018 22:23

And tell him m you think it was unfair and that you hjouught he should be placed, and that the cheering spoke volumes. But you probably already have

Clairetree1 · 29/07/2018 22:24

I very much doubt it was judged on who was well behaved or clever, why would it be? teachers bend over backwards to find something to praise and reward the less well behaved and clever children for, all the time.

and I get absolutely sick of this "teacher like such and such" "teacher doesn't like such and such" rubbish.

do you think we have the time, energy or inclination to ever think like that? It is ridiculous and totally babyish when parents indulge in it too.

whoever judged thought more of the other performances than your sons

sorry, thats all there is to it

gobbin · 29/07/2018 22:31

It was a bit of fun. You have taken it (and the outcome) far too seriously.

burblife · 29/07/2018 22:32

It could be that the winners were those children who have put themselves out there but are usually shy, had developed a particular talent that year in school or had worked hard on friendships and teamwork skills? I would pick someone like that over someone who simply displayed a talent they had developed outside of, and separate to school.

Mrsmadevans · 29/07/2018 22:33

Since Time immemorial there has always been this behaviour. Is it any wonder children get disillusioned by school. In my DDS school this one girl was the lead in everything because the parents had money. When the DC went to the Welsh Eisteddford my DD won and this girl didn't even get in the final. This was because the judges went by who was the best not the parents job or money.
I am sorry your DS didn't get the acknowledgement he should have perhaps you could get him involved in a theatre group that is not dependent on school life and its terrible politics.

AJPTaylor · 29/07/2018 22:34

at dds last school any one who wanted a go did their act to the class. class vote with teacher also being able to nominate anyone really good/deserving etc. these pupils then did act for head/ deputy head/school council etc.
those who got through then did a showcase for parents. there was no overall winner. and quite bloody right!

BigPinkBall · 29/07/2018 22:40

It’s always been the way that teachers have their favourites, usually the blonde haired angelic looking kids whose parents are outgoing, in my experience.

Original poster
upsideup · 29/07/2018 22:40

and I get absolutely sick of this "teacher like such and such" "teacher doesn't like such and such" rubbish

Teachers are human, I think its just unrealistic to pretend they won't have kids the like teaching and kids they don't like and I dont think theres anything wrong with that, its natural.
However they shouldnt show this to the children, and the majority of teachers don't. I wouldnt want to have DS in my class if I was a teacher and I probably wouldnt like him very much, I would much rather have a class full kids like the girls who got first place who seem like a pleasure to teach.

OP posts:
4GreenApples · 29/07/2018 22:45

So Y4 talent show judged by Y4 teachers?

I’d agree it’d be fairer to have the judge being someone who doesn’t teach those children - such as the head teacher or a teacher from another year - to try and reduce any bias towards the teacher’s favourite pupils.

But I agree with pp, any complaint by you could well be dismissed as sour grapes.

EndOfEternity · 29/07/2018 22:52

Everyone has unconscious bias, it’s established fact. So if teachers in general don’t that us blinking amazing and they should show us all how it’s done!
In the real world most of us just need to be honest with ourselves and try and recognise our biases and work to minimise them. Those who deny having any bias are the worrying ones, especially teachers.

IceCreamFace · 29/07/2018 22:53

Obviously it's difficult to know without actually seeing the acts but if it is as you describe and the awards just went to the high achievers despite not actually being talented on the day then yes that sucks! I wouldn't complain but perhaps you could suggest that the judges should be people from the community who don't know any of the kids (although this may be difficult to organise - would probably need parent volunteers to do the leg work).

One of the things I love about DS's school is that they manage to give every child the opportunity to shine and really make an effort to encourage the children that aren't necessarily the top performers academically or in sports.

LJdorothy · 29/07/2018 23:12

I would hazard a guess that your own parental bias is much more pronounced than the teacher's. And I bet if you ask you'll discover the teacher asked someone else to pick the winners or they did it from a hat. And as for the favourites nonsense, please don't presume that you know what goes on in the class and how the children behave. The blonde angelic looking child might be anything but!

manaftermidnight · 29/07/2018 23:15

probably rewarding effort more than achievement, which has its own merits.
If the naturally talented but badly behaved/no discipline kids won, other parents would be complaining.

Mookatron · 29/07/2018 23:20

I actually don't know why everything has to be a competition anyway. It's brilliant that your son is so great at dancing/gymnastics, it's great those girls were determined enough to give up their lunchtime. Not sure why everyone can't just say wow great - big applause etc.

Well done your son!

LockedOutOfMN · 30/07/2018 00:07

Good point from Mookatron.

Witchend · 30/07/2018 00:39

Our school does it by pupil vote.
Which means the winners can be divided into 3camps.

  1. The popular children who could do anything and win. Irrelevant how good they are.
  2. Semi popular children singing a very popular song. Or rather playing a very popular song exceedingly loudly and probably singing along but you can't tell.
  3. Dance groups of popular girls who have been choreographed by parents and bought matching outfits etc.

Rather sad really.

Stupomax · 30/07/2018 02:03

Much the same as ours witchend. I don't know why they call it a talent show when it's obviously a popularity show. I'm kind of glad mine have never taken part.

NewYearNewMe18 · 30/07/2018 06:40

Remembering that far back, the result was usually calculated on audience applause. The most popular child in the class will win, unless someone else is truly outstanding and amazing in their acts.

That is life. Some people are popular and have a certain gravitas, others do not.

You say yourself you wouldn't want to teach your son, he has behavioural issues, some other children will undoubtedly view him as a bar to their learning.

claraschu · 30/07/2018 07:04

Pupil vote is a terrible idea, for the reasons Wichend lists. Lots of times the people judging "talent" shows in school don't even realise that kids creating their own routines, or playing unamplified instruments without backing tracks, are doing something completely different from what the other kids are doing.

I agree that there should be a few people who are not obviously biased choosing the winners, though I think this sort of thing is often not that much fun anyway. I would prefer a talent show without the competition, where anyone can perform if they have something they have worked on a bit.

Swipe left for the next trending thread