How to hold temper

[supersundaysunshine]

My AIBU in asking for some tips from you all about how you and how you should hold your emotions/feelings/anger/temper during a heated confrontation?!
I have to meet with my friend on Thursday and there so much to discuss and I already can see me letting my emotions getting the better of me. Any advice or help would be great

Don't put yourself in a situation where you need to have a heated confrontation?

Imagine them naked!

Nah seriously, it can be hard to do. Try to keep reminding your self to hold your temper, some people put a mark on their hand or something like that, something they'll see often to remind them. Most people lose it when they forget they were going to make the effort to keep calm.

On the other hand, people aren't perfect, sometimes losing your shit can be justified.

In situations like this, I pretend that I am at a work meeting. So I am in my working role, which means professionalism and no losing my temper. I find it helps me stay calm and clear headed.

count to ten...in german.

Unfortunately I need to see her and unavoidable
I'll try and think about being at work and in a scenario I can't lose my shit but it's going to be difficult.
Shes like a supermodel so imaging her naked would just infuriate me more ...I'm only joking

Imagine that you are standing on a railway line with an express train (your anger) coming at full speed towards you. You have a choice: either stay on the line and let the train hit you, or step off and let it go by.

I'm really sorry but this just sounds so childish. You 'have' to see her but it will be so hard not to 'lose your shit'? Honestly? You have so little control over the proceedings as all that? Come on. Be responsible for yourself.

Ditto @Pengggwn

There are situations that are frustrating but I keep from losing my cool, by just staying calm. I’m not going to kick off because I am an adult and responsible for my actions. No one can make you do something.

Why do you have to see your friend? Seems like you are wishing for a bust up. It all sounds incredibly childish.

I know and it's one of my worst traits and I'm trying to work on it which is why I was asking for tips and advice.
I obviously go around things the wrong way and want to be better.

I have to see her as there is a loan involved. I loaded her x amount of money towards a deposit.

And do you have evidence of the fact that it was a loan? If you do, no need to 'lose your shit' - take her to small claims or take out a civil suit (if those are the correct terms).

Thanks @Pengggwn good advice I get what you're saying but I do want to keep my friendship I don't want to take legal action. I just don't want to get emotional and lose my point.

Try growing up a bit. It's not difficult to speak to people without losing your temper, regardless what they say to you.

You don’t need to see her. Send her an email saying you need the loan repaid.

How do you ever expect to keep a friendship if you can’t help but “lose your shit”. Please get some professional counseling for that- it’s really not normal behaviour.

We would all prefer to keep our friendships, but by the time you are struggling not to lose your temper over a large sum of money owed by a friend, it is surely time for dispassionate analysis. Why is there a dispute?

I get the growing up comments but it's quite a redundant statement. I actually asking for real advice and tips.

I write a script of the points I want to raise. Practice reading it calmly at home over the next few days. Then when the situation arises you will be more prepared for the conversation and so should find it easier to say the practiced words calmly.
It’s also worth thinking through a few ways she might react and having responses for them.
Finally have an exit strategy planned e.g. if you feel it is getting too heated then say that and tell her you will follow up with an email and a deadline for her to respond so she can think about what she would like to do.

If you're after real advice and tips try www.itv.com/jeremykyle/be-a-guest

Thank you @Streetart that's a brilliant idea. I've got some time before meeting her so I'll defo write everything down that I want to get out, instead of winging it so to speak

Be clear about what you want to say.e.g. I lent you the money and I am asking you to repay it. What is your plan as I need it.
She will make some excuse si have a reply. The best way to keep you cool is to understand that in any situation, if you let your emotions come to the fore (anger, tears, fear) You will lose the ability to think clearly and rationally

@Greatorb really?!