DS using the toilet on his own

[starlight33]

I was in a cafe with DM with my son 6 and dd 1. Its a very small cafe with 1 restroom (unisex) and if someone is in the toilet you have to wait outside the door until they come out. DS needed to use the restroom and I told him to go and he happily went (I could see it was empty). My mum got up to bring him and I stopped her saying I'm trying to teach him independence and he's well able to go on his own. She couldn't understand why I'd allow my 6 year old to go to a public toilet on his own. If I was somewhere where the toilets were out of view or that there was a women/men's toilet I'd bring him in but in the next year or two he will become too old to use the women's toilet even accompanied with me and will have to start using the men's on his own anyway. My mum wasn't happy about this at all. I'm wondering do you think he's too young.

No that's fine! Tbh I let my 7 year old use toilets with cubicles where you don't know who is in there. Which may be irresponsible, I'm not sure...? But the situation you describe sounds 100% fine, I can't imagine why it wouldn't be unless there was some danger that he might leave a pool floating there and not flush away or something like that...

I don’t think he is too young in the circumstances you describe, as long as you’re happy he will be able to work the lock. My DD was forever locking herself in until she was 8 or so!

FWIW, I have friends who are mothers of 8 yo boys who still bring them into the women’s loo and I think that’s fine too.

*poo not pool

As long as he can physically cope with the doors/taps etc then I can’t see why it would be an issue!

I think in the set up you describe it’s fine. Last year, in our small, “safe” rural town there was a teenager hiding in an individual toilet cubicle who tried to lure a primary age child in. Thank god she got away, and the police caught him. It’s made me much more wary of letting my DC use public toilets though. Now, I keep my distance but DC have to open the door fully and check it’s empty before giving me a nod then going in.

That's very scary thistles but that's a great idea about the nod.

Of course it's fine. What did she want to do go in the cubicle with him or just wait outside?

She wanted to go inside with him.

I agree it was fine. Ideal opportunity to practice.

That’s fine. My just turned 7yo would have gone by herself in such circumstances.

I agree the circumstances on this one is fine. Iv always refused to let DS go to public toilets you carnt see inside like KFC, soft play pubs etc alone, my whole family called me nuts, over protective etc they really found it quite funny ... until a little boy was sexually assaulted in KFC toilets and everyone was yelling 'Where were the parents'!

I worry my trauma from Childhood makes me suffocate my DC's but on this one I just won't risk it.

I let mine go but usually together (6yo twins). Does depend where though.

I would do the same my ds are 7 now and I tend to bring them to the door of the men's then wait outside