in lust?? with someone

[delusionalbbe]

I know im being unreasonable.
I'm married with 3 DC. Happy but usual ups and downs and admittedly a bit bored.
I keep seeing this younger man whenever I'm in a certain part of town and can't get him out of my head, he's gorgeous. I've never spoken to him, he works near where I take my DC out.
I don't go to the city often but I've seen him a few times and saw him today after a long time when out for drinks with a friend.
I sound like a stalker I swear I'm not but each time I see him I cannot stop thinking about him for days.
why?? I have no interest to leave my DH, or to talk to this man (I doubt he would ever notice me,I'm older, a mother, he's beautiful I'm not).
I feel like a teenager with a crush, is this a midlife crisis?
This is not normal is it?

It is very normal. It's usually the result of a combination of hormones, and natural curiosity after you have been with the same person for many years. As long as you have no intention of taking any action, it's fairly harmless. Perhaps look at ways you might be able to kindle some excitement with your husband, as a crush is usually a sign that you're in a rut, albeit a contented one.

There's absolutely no intention to act on it, he'd run a mile the poor boy .
Im glad you think it's normal as I feel like it's weird.
I don't go looking for him but he seems to pop up every now and then when I'm there (obvisouly as he works nearby).
I do need to rekindle things with DH, you're absolutely right, we have fallen into mum and dad mode 24/7 and although I didn't think I was bothered by it as I know our Dc are young right now, maybe this shows I need to take action and fix things.

Don't worry, OP. We all have our little fantasy-based infatuations.
Mine is with a young man (who I thought was mid-20s), I later learned was 19!!!! I'm 38!!!! I'm old enough to be his mother!! She's 37!!! Haha.
I still find him cute though. :D

Yes, I think it's definitely a sign you need to do something differently in the way you spend time with your DH. Is it possible for you to get some time just for the two of you, so you can put aside mum and dad mode for a bit?

You'll be hyper-aware of this young man so he will seem to pop up everywhere! I've been in a similar position and so have many others, but it doesn't mean anything deep - it will pass sooner or later, and you'll wonder afterwards what it was you found so compelling about him.

I'm so glad other women have been through this as I was starting to think I was turning into some weird stalker.
The funny thing is, both my DH and this man have a tall slim physique, similar hairstyle and beard but I feel like roommate to DH nowadays whereas this man gets my heart racing when I see him. Maybe I'm reading too much into this but maybe seeing him just reminds me of DH and how I used look at him? I do miss our alone time but it with 3Dc is gets difficult.

It's perfectly normal, happens a lot. Don't worry about it, it will pass. It would be worse if he was a colleague or a friend, you might show it but this is a gorgeous anonymous stranger and you have done nothing wrong.

(The reality is often less exciting than the fantasy anyway.)

It sounds as though you're nostalgic for the early days of your romance with your DH, and this man has become a vessel for your nostalgia because he's the same physical type. It must be hard to find time just to be together when you have 3 DC to look after. Could you manage a romantic meal for two - even if it has to be at home?

What you're feeling is TOTALLY normal and it's actually a good thing! It means you're vibrant and sexually healthy. I say use your fantasies of this younger man to spice things up with your husband. The private thoughts in your head are yours alone, so don't be afraid to use them!

I remember reading something about crushes and marriage along the lines of "don't worry about how you work up an appetite, just make sure you eat at home" 😁

It's healthy, normal and as a few have suggested maybe channel some of that lust towards your OH. I'd imagine the crush will pass with time. I've had them in the past and just allowed myself to indulge in all the fantasy knowing fine well reality would be a disappointment anyway lol.

I must admit i have used my thoughts to spice things up a bit in the past but my DH noticed and asked what had gotten into me that night .
We can definitely manage more date nights it wouldn't be too difficult, I think we've just been too tired and have been prioritising sleep over anything else.
plus this heat honestly makes me want to kill anyone who comes near me right now

Nowt wrong with a bit of fantasy sex

This is a harmless crush, mainly because you don't know the person and so your chances of messing your life up over this are nil. Much better than a crush at work etc. It's similar to having a thing on TV. I find these often intensify when I'm quite stressed, probably as escapism. I don't think there's anything wrong in noticing that there are attractive members of the human race, as long as you don't stare/drool.

I think escapism is what it is.
I do try not to stare or drool .
I did feel guilty after DH mentioned I was much more enthusiastic that time but to fair he wasn't complaining,he just noticed the difference and wondered why, win win for both of us right?