My sons father

[Mollywrighty]

Hi all,

I'm after some advice really - basically me and my sons father split up before my boy was born due to his drugs and the domestic abuse.

When I was pregnant he kicked my door to my flat in, said if he doesn't see the child hes gunna snap my neck and snatch my child. I was taken to hosptial at 25 weeks pregnant, they thought it was early labour due to stress.

When my boy was 5 weeks old, he was taken to hospital for bronchiolitis (nearly died) so i thought I'd let his father know. The father came and spent time with the child.

After my boy was out of hospital I agreed he could have contact, with conditions

1. He doesnt bring his misses (she lost her child through social services
2. He doesnt / pick up drug, or turn up to contact on drugs.

However, he brought his misses, they were arguing in front of my son. He had also picked up weed with my child and had smoked it around him. I tried saying he's to have contact in a contact centre from now on but he got abusive towards me because he wanted his misses there, so i stopped contact.

They've tried making melicious attack against me to social services (theyve got no concerns) now they have been harassing me and my partner for about 2/3 months, where ive had the police out at least 1/2 x a week - but they don't wanna know.

He's not on birth certificate, but they are trying to take me to court so they both get PR yet there relationship isn't great and there is domestic abuse (proof of evidence)

Will they caught let my boys father have contact even though

1. He's not on bc
2. He's on drugs
3. His relationship is abusive

Also even social services has told me not to let him have contact due to all this. All i want is to protect my son (hes now 8 months old)

You need to speak to the children's safeguarding team in social services, it a nothing to do with his girlfriend.

Have they actually done anything concrete in trying to take you to court or just threatened it? People talk a lot about this kind of thing but fewer actually go through with it.
Don’t be bullied into letting them see him in an unsafe environment due to threats, show you are protecting your son whilst trying to facilitate access, so basically contact at a contact centre.

Ask social services to help. Be totally honest with them and follow their advice. Make sure you are whiter than white and they will be a help to you not a problem

Social services won't help me due to the case being closed against me. I've got a fmaily support worker but all she says is ignore them. The police are not helping at all, even tho they are making serious accusations against myself and my partner which could potentially put my son in danger.

They've got a solicitor involved, but as any mother wants, i want to protect my son and don't want him to be anywhere near the drugs or violence but no-one from any local authorities want to help me protect him. I tried to say he can have contact in a contact centre but I got aload of abuse from ex and his partner. Surely the court won't allow him to have contact whist hes still being abusive and still on drugs, there were several times he didn't turn up for contact, expected me to travel 20 miles in rain when my boy was ill, he's not paid for anything towards the baby, not even when I was pregnant.

OP have you spoken to women's aid or the NCDV? You can get a non molestation or restraining order preventing him from contacting you, it's good you've been to the police they will want those records as part of the application , the harassment plus his serious assault against you in pregnancy and the fact social care have said no contact with your son will all go in your favour. Then when he contacts you he is in breach of the order and the police have to act , it is a criminal offence.

What are the NCDV, and what do they do? I've gave the police all the evidence, they've spoken to him and the partner, but they don't care and keep doing it. I've reported them to the police about 3 times this week already because its getting worse, and the police are saying it's tit for tat. We've had people threat to come kick our heads in, at my home address (where my baby is). My area is surrounded by CCTV but police refuse to look at it. My partners motorbike tyre was slashed. I've tried and tried asking the police to put an injunction against him to not just protect my son, but protect me as well, as all this is causing me to have melt downs and nightmares, but all the police say to that is, he isn't breaking no laws. Just feels like they won't do anything until I get hurt or my son does.