Why accidental pregnancies are ok in older women?

[Damnivy]

So just reading a different thread, and notice a comment, along the lines of, a lady fell pregnant from an affair, an older woman not a silly young girl.

What difference does age make, your having an affair and acidentaly fall pregnant. This 'young girl' could be in the same circumstances in her life as the older lady, so why is she the silly one?
I know people in early 20s who, have there own homes and are much more successful than people in their 30s. And I know some pretty crap parents that are older. And 30+ women living at home still! Yes there are some very irresponsible young people, but the same can be said for older people!

I know some people will say it's because being younger you have your whole life ahead of you, I don't agree that children stop you from living.

I was the silly young girl, I have also raised my children very well, we both have good jobs, a nice home, and expirienced life.

Age doesn't make a huge difference when it comes to parenting.

So AIBU to ask honestly why people have these opinions?

'I think very few pregnancies are accidents regardless of age'

I think that is one of the stupidest and ignorant things I have ever read!
Accidental pregnacies are hard what ever age and what ever you decide to do!

I was over 40 and had coil when I discovered I was pregnant. It was most definitely an accident.

Yanbu. Age definitely does not make a difference. Friends of mine who had DC young, had a home stability while I was still partying like a teen.

There are good and bad parents of any age. Though I have heard young parents slating older parents too, so the criticism swings both ways. Some people are just judgemental and critical no matter what.

It's different. You have to get to that age to understand. 20 year old me wouldn't have handled or coped well. 30 year old me coped with that 3rd surprise.

One if my biggest fears is to be totally financially dependent on a man, so I wanted to have qualifications etc before kids. At 20 I was still a uni student, living in a house share and out of my overdraft. At 30 I have a degree, a masters, job with fairly good pay and flexible hours, driving licence, car, house deposit saved (but no house, yet!). Not saying that you HAVE to have those things before you have kids, but personally I think I would have really struggled if I had a baby first as I would have no family support etc. I know plenty of women who are a lot younger than me and have their sh*t togther a lot more than I do though

Mine was most definitely an accident

Back when my friends and I became sexually active the stats on getting pregnant while on the pill were about 98%. None of us got pregnant. I’m not sure what changed. Is birth control not as effective these days?

@mimibunz 98% effective means 2% not effective. For every 98 times a condom is successful in preventing a pregnancy, 2 condoms are unsuccessful. 2 in 100 is actually a high number, especially when you consider that that is under ideal conditions.

If a form of contraception is quoted as being "98% effective with perfect use that means that for every 100 women using the contraception *over the course of a year 2 will become pregnant.

2 in a year, assuming they re all using it perfectly.

Which is pretty high really.
Especially once you add up all the years you're sexually active.

So of course many, many women don't become pregnant on contraception, and its a whole lot better than nothing!
But there is a far greater element of luck involved than many are willing to admit. Yet another instance where some people like to feel smug about being "more sensible" than others, whereas in fact they may just have been more lucky!

Out of the women I know who became pregnant on contraception, it was because:
In one instance a condom split and they didn't take the MAP in time.
In another instance a condom split and they DID take the MAP the day after and still became pregnant (the MAP is nowhere near 100% effective).
In another a woman was on the mini pill while breastfeeding and became pregnant (GP recommended the mini pill as the risk of pregnancy was supposedly reduced by breastfeeding).

None of those women have any reason to lie to me - if anything it would be far more socially acceptable not to admit that their baby was unplanned! These three pregnancies all resulted in much loved dc, and I only know they weren't planned because of it randomly coming up in conversations.

There are likely to be more women I know who had unplanned pregnancies, but how would I know? They have no reason to share that info with me.

Of course, an unplanned pregnancy does not always mean the baby is unwanted - mine was unplanned and a huge surprise, but once I got over the shock I realised I wanted the baby (in an ideal world I would have magically paused the pregnancy for 2 years though!).

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/

The same as ads about std’s are aimed at younger people, yet recently there was a report that concluded the generation most likely to get an std is those in their 50s and 60s. Often post childbearing age, divorced and looming for fun! But nobody ever mentions those, or aims adverts at that age group!

The woman having an affair would get no respect from me whereas a “young girl” who has done nothing selfish to anybody would 100%.
Sometimes adults can be so self absorbed and arrogant that younger people put them to shame.

Personally I would think the older woman was sillier.
She is fully developed, can assess risks better, has more life experience, and shouldn't have gotten pregnant from an affair. Contraception isn't always 100% reliable, which is why it's recommended to use 2 kinds!

The condemnation of “silly” young girls as I remember it was from religious busybodies and parents of the girl, who weren’t then prepared to help their daughter get on her feet.
I fell into the “older woman who should have known better”category and got a few sneery small minded comments but they were without exception from sneery small minded people.

I don't think it's got anything to do with falling pregnant, it's the affair the comment has been made about I'd say.

As someone in their late 30's, I would assume someone my age or older would have the sense to realise having an affair with someone who is married would not end well and would not be so easily swayed by an older man giving me attention. And to know better than to get pregnant by them!

Having been a comparatively more naive woman in my 20's when I started working, I would say younger women can be more susceptible to the attentions of older men. And more willing to believe if they fell pregnant he'd leave the wife for her. Actually knew a co worker who did this. Didn't end well for anyone!